Once Upon a Moon
by bloodofbeckie
Summary: After the battle with Victoria and the newborns, Bella realizes that she may be with the wrong monster after all. How will this affect her future and the future of everyone around her? Bella/Jacob. Post-Eclipse, AU.
1. Chapter 1

**Once Upon a Moon**

**By bloodofbeckie**

**After the battle with Victoria and the newborns, Bella discovers that she is with the wrong monster after all.**

**Bella/Jacob. Rated for language coming out of a teenage boy, and for later chapters. **

**This is my first time writing a fan-fiction. Please be kind. **

**There is dialogue from Eclipse in this chapter. This dialogue can be found in Chapters 25-26 on pages 556-599 in Eclipse by Stephenie Meyer. I had to use this dialogue to tie my story in with SM's characters. **

**Stephenie Meyer owns everything Twilight, I do not, because she is wicked awesome, and I am not. **

Chapter 1: Bella

*Then Edward took a deep breath, and turned slowly to face me.*

Who was this man in front of me? I recognized his face, his hair, his eyes, his hands...but I didn't recognize what he could become. I had just watched him easily dismember another being. Granted, she was evil and she wanted me dead, but still. How could I not have seen how dangerous he truly was to me? He started talking to me, but I lost everything he said as he started walking towards me. My breath started huffing out in short gasps.

"…drop the rock please? Carefully. Don't hurt yourself." Don't hurt myself? I was ready to use it as a weapon against him, until I realized that a small piece of boulder wouldn't hurt him. He hesitated, and I dropped the rock, still maintaining my defensive position. "…I won't hurt you," he said, not even breathing, I'm sure, not to scare me with any movements, but this lack of movement petrified me even more. He kept saying he wouldn't hurt me. How could he not hurt me? He just tore Victoria apart. If he could tear apart her marble-like body, what could he do to me?

How had I not seen that he really was the monster he said he was?

I swiftly assessed my situation. Seth was still behind Edward, watching the two of us. Seth wouldn't let Edward hurt me.

"Are you…aren't you afraid of me?" I wanted to scream yes, but I couldn't speak. Every part of me was frozen in sheer fright. This is why everyone else stayed away from the Cullens. As I looked into his eyes, I saw not the love that I had been seeing all this time, but finally seeing the monster that was there, hidden for so long in their golden depths. He wasn't normal, he wasn't right or natural, like me. Like Jacob. Jacob…

"The others? Alice, Esme? The wolves?" I struggled to find my voice, concerned for the ones that I loved. It didn't sound like me, all scratchy and unused.

"All fine." he said, taking another step toward me. I cowered. His face registered shock. "You're afraid of me?" I nodded, my voice had disappeared again. "Oh, Bella." He sighed unhappily before his face suddenly whipped over to meet Seth's.

"What's she doing?" Edward asked. I felt put out, thinking he was talking about me. Seth whined, and suddenly the world stood still when a howl reverberated from Seth's chest, filling the air with its sound. Something was wrong, very wrong. Edward had dropped to his knees.

"Edward! Edward!" his eyes focused on me.

"We're fine. We're going to be okay. Sam---help him---" I realized that we weren't in danger of being attacked. But if Seth was howling like that…something was wrong with the pack. This thought made me ill, and I sagged toward the ground. Edward caught me before I could hit the rocks, but I couldn't fight him off, no matter how petrified of him I was. "Edward, what happened? What happened to Sam? Where are we going?"

"We have to go back to the clearing. The Volturi decided it was time to intercede." I couldn't make sense of the words. "Don't panic. They aren't coming for us. It's the guard that normally cleans up this mess. I'll know more when we get to the clearing."

"Is that why we're going back?" I was terrified at the thought of the guards in their black robes. A strange sound came out of my throat.

"What happened? When Seth was howling?" He hesitated at my question, then proceeded to tell me that Leah had engaged in a fight with a remaining newborn. I felt relief coarse through me, knowing it wasn't my Jacob who was hurt. Wait. Edward had said help HIM, not her.

"Edward, someone got hurt." I said this, not as a question, but as a statement. He sighed.

"Yes."

"Who?" I asked, already knowing the answer.

"Jacob."

I thought that I mumbled something, then everything went black.

Once I awoke, Jacob's name was the first thing out of my lips. As I opened my eyes, I found Carlisle's reassuring face close to mine, next to Edward's stone face.

"Jacob is healing, Bella. He'll be fine."

"Jacob is okay?" I asked, looking to Carlisle.

"I examined him myself. His injuries were bad enough that it will still be a few days before he's back to normal, even if his wounds heal as quickly as they have been. Sam is trying to get him to phase back to his human form. That will make treating him easier. I didn't go to veterinary school," he said with a slight smile.

"What happened to him?" I asked, breathlessly, trying to sit myself up but failing miserably and resting myself on my elbows.

"He was helping Leah. He pushed her out of the way but didn't have time to defend himself. The newborn got his arms around him. Most of the bones in his right half were shattered." Horrified, I stared up at him. "Sam and Paul got to him in time. He was already healing when they took him back to La Push."

"Three minutes," Alice said quietly. What? Oh yeah, the Volturi were coming. Standing up, I stepped back from Edward, who looked at me with confusion in his eyes. I didn't meet his glance. We waited for the Volturi guards to come. I was afraid of them, but I was more afraid for Jacob. What had I done? It was because of me that he was in all of this to begin with. Jane and Felix, along with two other shrouded figures walked into the clearing. I half-listened to the story of what happened, but my mind kept going to Jake. I needed to see him. Things were rolling around in my mind, plans, thoughts…hopes. Alice kept glancing over at me.

"Caius will be so interested to hear that you're still human, Bella. Perhaps he'll decide to visit." Jane said sweetly, with menacing undertones. This started the thudding in my heart. I hadn't thought about that.

"The date is set. Perhaps we'll come visit you in a few months," Alice said, glancing over at me.

"It was nice to meet you, Carlisle. Until we meet again…" Jane nodded us off, then the four of them disappeared into the thick mist.

"Well, now that's over, I need to head to La Push and check over Jacob's injuries," Carlisle said. "The rest of you, why don't you head on home?" Everyone nodded.

"Bella?" Edward asked, indicating it was time to go.

"Edward, why don't you go ahead? I'll go with Bella to her house, get her changed and showered." Alice said, stepping up to me.

"Is that okay with you , Bella?" Edward asked me, his eyes wary.

"That'd be great. Yeah. I'll catch up with you later."

"Very well," he said, handing Alice the keys to the Volvo. "Keep her safe." He stepped up to me and kissed my forehead. I felt nothing, no surge of desire, no wanting of more when his cool lips touched my warm skin. He looked at me again, as if was trying to read my mind again even though he knew he couldn't. I had never been so relieved for that quirk until now. He rose his hand in a wave then followed the rest of his family out of the clearing.

"You'd better get on my back. I'll run us to the Volvo, that way it won't take us forever to get down there." I looked at her skeptically. She was a couple of inchese shorter than me and fall thinner. I was afraid I would break her.

"You can carry me?" She laughed.

"Of course I can. Get on." I scampered up her back, and wrapped my arms around her neck. She started running, and within five minutes we were at the car. She set me down, and unlocked the car. I sat on the cool leather while she started up the car.

"Bella, I don't know what you're thinking, but all I know is that your future has disappeared. What's going on?" She asked, pulling onto the road and heading back into Forks.

"I don't really know. It's just…after seeing Edward fighting Victoria…I'm scared."

"Scared of what? There's nothing to be afraid of any more."

"Scared of him."

"You're scared of…Edward?" I sighed.

"Very."

"Well, you'll be changed in just a couple of months. You won't have anything to be afraid of anything anymore." I watched the speedometer hold at sixty while she navigated the twists and turns of the highway expertly, with hardly a glance to the road.

"No."

"No, what?"

"No, I won't be changed."

"Bella, you're not making any sense. You have to be changed."

"No. No I don't."

"The Volturi…" she started, slowing down as we approached town.

"I can't be with Edward anymore. The whole tearing the head off a vampire thing just scared the crap out of me. What if he holds me too tightly? What if his emotions get the best of him and he decides that a nip of my neck is necessary? Alice, I'm scared."

"Okay, but why can't I see your future anymore?"

"Because I'm going to tell Jake that I am in love with him too."

"What? Bella!" We pulled up to my house. My truck was still the only vehicle in the driveway, so Charlie must still be with Billy. I was anxious to get to La Push as well. I got out of the car, and Alice quickly followed me.

"Alice, I've made my decision."

"I thought you loved Edward," she said, accusingly.

"I do!"

"Then why are you going to leave him?"

"Because he's not the right person for me. Alice, look at him. Look at him. He's a vampire. I'm a human. He's perfect, I'm…flawed."

"But he loves you. He needs you."

"Alice, Edward needs someone to protect. Remember that time when he was younger, when he would kill people who hurt other people? What has he been doing all this time? He's been protecting me. He's bossed me around, made me think that my decisions aren't enough. He acts more like my father than my boyfriend, restricting where I can be, having you watch me when he goes out of town. I can't do that any more. I want a boyfriend. An equal."

Walking up the stairs to my bedroom, I grabbed my toiletry case and fresh clothes, then closed the door in Alice's perfect face. In the shower, I washed my hair and body, getting the grime and stress from the day off me. When I shut off the water, a pale hand shot out with my towel. I dried my body off and stepped out of the tub. Alice was perched on the counter.

"I went in your room and got you better clothes. If you're going to tell Jacob how you feel, you need to look good doing it. No sweats." I sighed, and put on the clean jeans and button up blouse she handed me. She grabbed my hairbrush and started brushing my hair.

"Are you sure about this, Bella?"

"Nope." I said, popping the P. She peeked at our reflections in the mirror.

"This is going to break Edward's heart." Of this, she could be sure.

"I know," I said. "There's no way I can avoid it." She heaved a great sigh and plugged in my hair dryer. After doing my hair and touching my up with some make-up, she stood in front of me, looking me over.

"I know you're doing what is best for yourself. I hate that this is what you have decided, but I want you to know that no matter what, you'll still be my sister, and my best friend." She wrapped her thin arms around me. I hugged her, feeling tears in my eyes.

"You won't tell him, before I can, will you?" I asked, hoping that Alice could keep my secret.

"Of course not. He'll be here when you get back though, I can assure you that. He'll want to see you. He loves you."

I know," I said, feeling resigned. She kissed my cheek, and we walked downstairs and out the door. I waved her off as I drove toward the reservation in the direction of the Black house. As I pulled into their driveway, I noticed the quiet peacefulness. There weren't any screams. Perhaps this was a good sign. I turned off the ignition and walked up to the door.

"Come on in, Bella," Billy said. The roar of my truck was easy to recognize. I let myself in like he had stated.

"Hey, Billy. Is he awake?" I asked.

"He woke up a couple of minutes ago. Go on in. I think he's waiting for you." I took a deep breath.

"Thanks." I walked to the door to his room, and took a deep, shuddering breath. I was nervous. What if he had changed his mind? What if he didn't want me anymore, now that he had seen what it would be like to be with me? I opened the door a little, and peeked in. He was waiting for me. I sighed, and stepped in. As I looked into his eyes, there was nothing there. I looked over his body, fortunately someone had covered him with a blanket, so I couldn't see the worst of his injuries. I turned, and shut the door behind me.

"Hi, Jake," I murmured. He searched my face, found something there, and made a disgusted sound.

"Before you talk, I just want to tell you something. I'm exactly right for you. It is effortless for us. Comfortable, easy as breathing. I am the natural path your life would take, if the world was the way it was supposed to be and there weren't any monsters. Bells, besides kissing you this morning, this has been the worst day. I picked the wrong place, missed the best fight, then I had to stick up for Leah when she decided to be an idiot. Now I'm all broken and it's going to take days to heal. Days, Bella! So why don't you just tell me what you have to tell me, and be done with it?"

"Jacob, what do you think I'm going to say?" I asked, curious. Couldn't he tell? I walked over to his bed, and knelt down beside him.

"What you always say. That I'm second best. That, yet again, you choose him."

"Jacob."

"Go on," he said, settling his features in the grimace that I hated.

"Jacob, I love you. This time, you're wrong. This time, and forever, I choose you." He looked into my eyes. Gingerly, I sat on the bed.

"What did you say?" he asked, sounding like he didn't believe me.

"I love you. I want to be with you. You are the one who I'm supposed to be with. You're my soul mate." Tenderly, I touched the side of his face. His mouth dropped open.

"Dr. Fang gave me too much morphine. I think I'm imagining things. Bells, are you for real?"

"Yes."

"What happened to you out there?" He asked, wonderingly.

"I realized that you're right, that Edward was right, that everyone but me was right. Edward is all kinds of wrong for me. He's not natural. He's terrifying. I can't be with him, because I'm just too nervous. Then there is you. And while you're not exactly natural either, I choose you. Jacob, the contrasts between you and Edward are insane. You're day and night. Fire and ice. Snow and desert. And I decided that I prefer the warmth," I simply said. His face was incredulous as he pulled me down to him on his good side, and hugged me tightly to him.

"I love you, Bells."

"I know. And I love you too." The tears started coming out of my eyes just as his lips finally touched mine.

**A/N: Thoughts? Like it? Hate it?**


	2. Chapter 2

Chapter 2 (Jacob's POV)

"It's over," Sam said to us all. Celebrations were heard by howls and barks. Paul and Embry were the biggest celebrators, but then Sam quieted us down.

"Where's Leah?" All was quiet as he searched inside for her voice. We all did. Suddenly, we heard her. She had found another newborn. I heard Seth freaking out, and I didn't even wait for Sam. I hurried to where I knew I'd find her. She was baiting the bloodsucker, taunting and teasing it, like the idiot she was.

"Leah! Knock off the crap and get it over with!" I yelled at her.

"Bet you can't do it like I can," she taunted, turning to me for a split second. That was all it took.

"No!" I thought, as I saw the newborn reaching for her. I ran as fast as I could and knocked her out of the way.

"Jacob!" she screamed, as the newborn got a hold of me and began to squeeze. I saw Sam and Paul running at us, as I felt my bones breaking. I had never felt physical pain like this. As Sam and Paul charged the leech, he dropped me, and I fell, limp from excruciating pain. I could feel the bones trying to mend and it was almost as uncomfortable as the original crushing of them. I watched the two of them tear him apart and throw his pieces into a nearby fire.

"Jacob, let's get you to Carlisle." Sam and Paul helped me to the clearing where the doc and his family were circled around each other. I looked, but Bella wasn't there. I'm glad she didn't know what was going on. She'd be freaking out over this.

"She's still with Edward and Seth," the little one, Alice, said, looking at me. She must have known that I'd wonder. "She's…okay." I barked what I could, feeling instantly remorseful, because of the pain.

"Jacob, be quiet." Sam said. Jared came out of the clearing, pulling up his sweatpants. He told the leeches what had happened, and Carlisle came to look me over.

"Get him home. We still have something…unexpected we have to deal with." Sam looked questioningly at him. "The Volturi, sort of our government, if you will, is coming now to intervene. They heard about the newborns. We need to talk to them, get everything situated. They do not, however, honor truces with werewolves, so I think it'd be best if you all got back to La Push. I'll come to the Black house to treat Jacob afterward, if that is all right with you." Sam nodded, and Jared went back into the forest to phase back, then we all headed back to the rez.

Even though I was in terrible pain, I just wanted to see Bella one more time. Sam forbade it though, so off to my house we went. I couldn't stop the howling. I was in so much pain. It felt like I was being stabbed over and over again by dull, hot knives.

"Jacob, you have to phase back. It is the only way that Doctor Cullen can treat you. You heard him, he'll be at your house soon. Let's get you in your room." Right before we got to my house, we all phased back, yelling obscenities as Sam and Paul carried me to the house.

"What's happened?" my dad asked. I looked up to see Charlie's horrified face. They had been watching the game, and he stood up when he saw my condition.

"Jake crashed his motorcycle," Sam said. "We've called Dr. Cullen, he's on his way."

"Shouldn't he go to the hospital?" Charlie asked.

"No, I'd rather the doctor come here, if he offered. How long?" Billy asked, looking at Sam.

"Shouldn't be more than fifteen minutes." He and Paul brought me into my tiny bedroom and laid me on my bed. Carlisle was true to his word, and got to my house in thirteen minutes, carrying a big bag of equipment. He told me that he was going to have to reset the breaks, as some of them weren't healing right. I thought I was going to kill him. Sam, seeing the murderous look in my eye, told Cullen to take care of it. Carlisle gave me morphine, trying to judge how much to give me, because my temperature of 108 kept burning off the medicine. After it seemed like he had gotten it right, he started. More yelling ensued, but finally he was finished, and the morphine took over my consciousness.

I woke up about an hour later to find that most of the pack had left, save for Seth. I was surprised to find him there, watching my small television that was perched on my dresser.

"Seth?" I asked.

"Oh, hey Jake," he said, turning towards me. "How're you feeling?"

"Like crap." He laughed.

"Carlisle's still here. Let me go get him."

"He's still here?"

"He wants to make sure your medicine is right. Let me get him." He stood up.

"I think he's trying to make me overdose. I feel stoned." Everything was starting to come back now. The fight, the newborn, Leah, Bella…

"Oh! Shit! Seth, what happened? How's Bella? I mean, I know how the fight ended up, and you did awesome, man. But how'd Bella react?"

"She was crazy. She dug at herself with that piece of rock, spilling blood so that they'd go crazy for her. Which worked. The plan I was going with would've worked too," he said with a sullen look on his face. I stared at him blankly. "Oh, right. So, after Edward and I finished cleaning up the pieces, she was all weird. Like catatonic. Freaked out when Edward came near her, she was scared of him. Then I heard what was going on with you and I don't really know what happened after that. Edward sent me here, and he took off with Bella back to the clearing."

"Of course. Has she been here? Was she here when I was sleeping?" I asked, hopefully.

"No, man. I'm sorry," he said, with pity in his voice. I sighed, wincing at the discomfort. He stepped out of my room to call for the doctor.

She had chosen Cullen, yet again. How could I keep getting my hopes up, every time when it came to this girl? I was in love with her, but she very obviously wasn't in love with me. I thought that she had finally felt it, while we were kissing that morning, but apparently I was wrong. Again.

"Hey, Jacob, how are you feeling?" Carlisle said, as he walked in my room, followed by Seth and my dad. The room was cramped and hot with all the people in it.

"I hurt like hell," I quipped. He laughed.

"I'm sure. Let me look over these breaks," he said, pulling the quilt off me.

"Is Charlie gone?" I asked my dad.

"Yeah. Left about ten minutes ago."

"The breaks are healing better, but I think I'm going to have to re-break your femur one more time."

"Come on, doc. You told me it would be fine before." I protested.

"Hey, if you want to walk around with a limp, so be it," my father said, swatting me against the head.

"All right, let's do it."

"Let me give you some more medicine first." He gave me an injection of morphine, and I felt the warmth spread up my arm and across my chest, coursing through my body. After he was sure I was numb, he re-broke my leg, and put it in a cast. I wouldn't need the cast for long, but it would prevent it from not setting correctly again.

Since I was falling back into the sea of oblivion, I heard him tell my father about my breaks and how long he expected to heal, and then I was out again.

Thirty minutes later, the pain medicine had worn off again, and I was awoken by the discomfort of mending bones. This time, there was no one in my room, but I couldn't get up.

"Dad?" I hollered, hoping he was in the house. I heard his chair squeak towards the bedroom.

"What's up, Jake?" He asked.

"Could you get me a drink?"

"Sure, son," he said, heading towards the kitchen, then coming back with a bottle of water. "How're you feeling?"

"Crappy. Did Bella call?"

"No, I'm sorry." I leaned back down onto the pillows. Did she even care? Dad wheeled back out of the room. Two minutes later, I heard a familiar roar. My hopes soared. I hear the rumble of the engine cease when she turned off the ignition, and the light sounds that her feet made on the porch steps. She knocked softly.

"Come on in, Bella," Dad said.

"Hey, Billy. Is he awake?" She asked, sounding timid.

"He woke up a couple of minutes ago. Go on in. I think he's waiting for you." Thanks a lot, Dad. I adjusted myself on my pillows as I heard her footsteps in the hallway. She paused in front of my door, perhaps she was wondering how she was going to break it to me?

The knob turned, and in walked my angel.

"Hi, Jake," she said. I searched her face, and found nothing. Found her to be worried, most likely about me and my injuries, but nothing to show that she had changed her mind. Shit. She started to open her mouth, but I wanted to tell her something first.

"Before you talk, I just want to tell you something. I know you don't think so, but I'm exactly right for you. It is effortless for us. Comfortable, easy as breathing. I am the natural path your life should take, the one it would take, if the world was the way it was supposed to be and there weren't any monsters. Bells, besides kissing you this morning, this has been the worst day. I picked the wrong place, missed the best fight, then I had to stick up for Leah when she decided to be an idiot. Now I'm all broken and it's going to take days to heal. Days, Bella! So why don't you just tell me what you have to tell me, and be done with it?"

"Jacob, what do you think I'm going to say?" she asked, sounding curious. What did I think she was going to say? What she always said! She walked over to the bed, and knelt down beside me.

"What you always say. That I'm second best. That, yet again, you choose him." It hurt me to admit it. When you stood me up to him, I WAS second best. He was rich, he could offer her immortality.

"Jacob." She said softly. I looked down, steeling myself. Looking up, I forced my face not to convey how I was feeling.

"Go on,"

"Jacob, I love you. This time, you're wrong. This time, and forever, I choose you." What? I looked back up into her eyes. Surely she didn't just say that. She carefully sat on the bed next to me.

"What did you say?" I asked her, incredulous.

"I love you. I want to be with you. You're right. You are the one who I'm supposed to be with. You are my soul mate." My mouth dropped open, and she brought her soft hand to my face.

"Wow, Dr. Fang gave me too much morphine. I think I'm imagining things. Bells, are you for real?" I might have sounded stupid, but I couldn't wrap my head around this. Was she truly saying that she wanted to be with me? Not him?

"Yes." She said, smiling at me.

"What happened to you out there?" I asked, wondering if she had been hit on the head and suffered brain damage.

"I realized that you're right. Edward is a monster. He's not natural. He's terrifying. I can't be with him. The two of you are day and night. Fire and ice. Snow and desert. And I decided that I prefer the warmth," she said, shrugging her shoulders. A smile spread across my face and I wanted to jump for joy. Unfortunately, I couldn't with these damn casts. Doing the next best thing, I pulled her down to lay next to me on my good side, and hugged her body tightly to me.

"I love you, Bells." I said, putting meaning behind every word, hoping she'd know that I meant forever.

"And I love you." she said, smiling back up at me. Tears spilled out of her eyes as I leaned in and pressed my lips to hers.


	3. Chapter 3

Chapter 3-Bella's POV

The kiss deepened, and I felt his tongue run across my bottom lip. I melted against him, wrapping my arms around his neck and twirling my fingers in his hair. He broke away and leaned down to kiss my neck. I couldn't help the moan that escaped from my lips. He brought his lips back to mine and he tried to pull me closer.

"Ouch!" he yelped. Instantly, a sense of smugness replaced my earlier feeling of surprise.

"Jake, did I make you forget that you were hurt?"

"You made me forget everything," he growled, nipping my chin.

"Are you okay?" I asked with a giggle.

"Yeah. I think I need more medicine though."

" I can get it. Where is it?"

"I think that Carlisle gave it to my dad. He probably has it."

"Okay, I'll be right back." I straightened up from the bed, adjusted my clothes, and then walked out of the room to find Billy in the living room, watching TV.

"Hey, Billy, Jake's looking for his medicine. Do you have it?"

"Sure, honey. It's on the kitchen counter, right there."

"Thanks," I said, grabbing the bottle and turning back to Jake's room.

"Bella?" he asked.

"Yeah?"

"Jake's in a lot of pain right now. And I don't want him in more pain. My son is a good man, and he loves you very much."

"And I love him very much," I said, feeling embarrassed to be saying this to Billy.

"Do you love him enough to stay?" he asked. He was wondering about Edward. I steeled myself against the onslaught of emotions Edward's name still evoked.

"I love him enough to never leave again," I said, staring into the eyes that were so like my Jacob's. He watched me for a minute, and then his face broke out into a big smile.

"Welcome to the family." I smiled back at him and kissed him on his weathered cheek, then held up the meds to signal I was going to Jake. He nodded and turned back to the television with the smile still on his face.

I opened the door back up to find Jake trying to sit up.

"Hey! Lay back down," I commanded. He obliged.

"Bells, I'm sorry about my dad. Don't listen to him…"

"Don't listen to him about what? Am I not invited into the family?"

"Wait, no. What? Of course. I just didn't want you to feel pressured. He doesn't mean to. He's just…"

"He's just looking out for you. He's looking out for both of us." I smiled at him. "Don't worry Jacob. I'm not leaving you. I'm here to stay, just like I told Billy." Handing him his pills and a bottle of water, I kissed him.

"What did Cullen say, when you told him?" he asked, swallowing the horse-sized pills with a gulp of water.

"Well…" I started.

"Bella! You haven't told him!" he yelled.

"Don't yell! It isn't good for you. No, I haven't told him, because from the time that Alice and I left the clearing until the time I got here, I was completely focused on you, and getting to you. I haven't seen him since everything went down."

"Does he have any idea?" he asked, yanking me down on the bed with his good hand. I fell next to him and softly stroked his face. How could I not have realized how perfect he was? "Bella?"

"Hmm? Oh. Yeah. No, I don't think so. It's going to be hard to break it to him." I hadn't really thought much about how I was going to break up with Edward. Would he believe me? Would he take me seriously or would he think that I was just being "silly old Bella"?

"Do you want me there?" he asked.

"Don't be silly. You can't get out of bed yet. No, I think I'll go over there now. That way, they will all be there. I think I'd feel safer that way. I don't think he'd hurt me, but…just in case," I sighed. He pulled me closer to him.

"I wish I could take away your pain," he said, hugging me so close I felt like I couldn't breathe.

"Jake…can't…"

"Yeah, yeah, can't breathe," he said, laughing and letting me go a little.

"I should probably go," I said reluctantly.

"Why? You just got here?"

"And I'll be right back. I just, I need to do this now. I can't be fully with you until I'm no longer with him. And I want to be with you fully and completely."

"As I already am with you." He kissed me, and for about fifteen minutes made me forget where I was and what I planned on doing. Edward who?

Finally, I was able to claw my way out of the fog his kisses put me in. He was getting sleepy from the medicine. I kissed him one last time, and then headed out the door with a wave to Billy.

On the half hour drive home, I thought about what I would say. I knew that I would be hurting Edward very badly. Would I tell him about wanting to be with Jacob instead? He told me that if I'd rather be with Jacob, he would let me. Back then, I vehemently denied my feelings. I guess I didn't know that they were there.

Me and Jacob. I never would have thought. I also wouldn't have thought that he could kiss so well. Edward's kisses made me forget to breathe, but Jake could kiss me and I'd forget who I was.

True, this would change all my plans. I wouldn't be able to go away to the University of Alaska any more. Jacob wouldn't be able to leave his father, nor would he be able to leave the pack. His place was here, or rather, in La Push. Was I will to sacrifice for him?

All I came up with was a resounding yes.

Stopping home, I heated up some dinner for Charlie and me. As I was doing the dishes, I told him, "Hey Dad, after this, I'm going to head over to the Cullen's house."

"Did you just come from there?" he asked, sounding grumpy.

"I need to talk to Edward about something important."

"Oh yeah?"

"Yeah. Hey Dad?"

"What?"

"What would you think about me and, um, Jacob?" A smile lit his face.

"Did you finally come to your senses about Jake? Decide that he was the best man for you?"

"Something like that," I replied with a grin. He stood up and hugged me.

"I'm glad. He's the one for you, Bells. Go on, I'll finish up."

"Dad, I will be home in about an hour. Just in case. If I'll be any longer, I'll call you."

"Do you think he's going to hurt you?" he asked, alarmed.

"No, I don't. Besides, his family is all there. But I'd rather you know…"

"Okay Bells. Thanks." I raced to the front door, stumbling over the threshold. A pair of cold hands came out to steady me. I looked up and met Edward's horrified eyes.


	4. Chapter 4

**A/N: I just realized how terrible the formatting of this story was. I apologize. It should be fixed. Thanks to all of you who have read and reviewed!**

**Chapter 4-Bella's POV**

*Quote from Twilight, pages 232-233

I looked into Edward's horrified topaz eyes. There were so many emotion running across his face. Betrayal was the most evident.

"Bella?" he asked, hurt clouding his voice.

"Bells? Is everything all…oh. Hey, Edward," my father said, sheepishly.

"Edward, we need to talk. Is it all right with you if we go to your house?"

"Very well," he said, stalking off to the Volvo and taking off.

"Bella, are you going to be okay?" Charlie asked.

"Sure, sure," I said, trying to sound reassuring.

"Here, take this," he said, handing me his cell phone. "Call me if you need me."

"Thanks, Dad," I said, hugging him, and then getting in my truck to follow after Edward. I called Alice to let her know I was on my way, and that I was guessing that Edward knew what I needed to talk to him about after overhearing Charlie and I. She was supportive enough, told me Edward was there and that she'd see me soon. Edward was there already? It had only been three minutes. I still had eight minutes left until I got off the highway, let alone the three miles from the highway to get to their house.

Hanging up the phone, I felt the nerves come. I did one thing I never expected to do. Keeping my eyes on the road, I dug through my purse and found my address book. Alternating my eyes between the road and the book I finally found what I was looking for and dialed the unfamiliar number.

"Hello?" a melodic voice answered.

"Rosalie? It's Bella."

"Bella? Is everything all right?" Concern filled her voice.

"Listen, I need your help. I've changed my mind. I can't do it. I can't become immortal. You were right. I want babies, I want to experience life, I want to…live."

"Bella, what do you mean?"

"I'm breaking it off with Edward."

"You're what?" She sounded incredulous.

"I'm breaking it off with Edward. I want to live my life. I want to have a life with Jacob."

"Oh, Bella. With the dog!"

"Rosalie!"

"All right. You're right though. He will be better for you. He will help you live your life the way it is supposed to be. But Bella, what am I supposed to do?"

"I'm scared of him…Edward. After seeing him today with Victoria, I don't know if I want to be alone with him." I pulled off the highway onto the long tree lined driveway leading to the Cullen house.

"Where are you?"

"I just pulled into the driveway."

"Ah, there you are," she said with a laugh. "I'll wait outside for you."

"Okay. And Rose?"

"Yes?"

"Thanks."

"Thank you, Bella." I hung up the phone, a little confused as to why she was thanking me. What had I done? Soon, too soon, I was pulling up to the house. True to her word, Rosalie was waiting on the steps. She came over to my door as I opened it and hugged me. This was surprising.

"You'll be fine." We walked into the brightly lit house together. Even though it was eight o'clock, the household wasn't settling down at all. How could I not have thought that this was strange before?

"Where is he?" I asked. Alice came walking down the stairs, looking glum.

"He refuses to talk to me. He's upstairs," she said, looking unhappy.

"I'm sorry, Alice," I said, wrapping my arms around her tiny shoulders. She heaved a great sigh, then wrenched away from me.

"What's the matter?" I asked.

"Gah, Bella, you smell like dog."

"I'm sorry," I said, hanging my head.

"I guess I'd better get used to it," Alice said. I looked back up at her in surprise. "Well, if you're going to be with him, you're going to smell like him."

"You mean you're still going to want to be around me?" Rosalie laughed at me.

"Of course. You're still our sister," she said. "You should probably get up there and talk to him." She nodded up the stairs. I sighed.

"You're probably right." I felt their eyes on me as I walked up the stairs. Turning down the hallway, I knocked on his door.

"Come in, Bella." I opened the door and found him lying on his leather sofa with his arms over his eyes. Stepping into the room, I closed the door and walked over to where he was. He sat up, hanging his head in his hands. I knelt down in front of him.

"Edward, I…"

"You don't have to explain, love."

"Of course I do," I said. "Look, Edward, I watched you kill someone today."

"Someone who was trying to kill you," he pointed out.

"I know. But Victoria was stronger than I am. Immortal. And I'm not. I think I finally realized how fragile I am, how breakable I am, compared to you." He snorted.

"About time," he said. I couldn't help but smile. I wound my warm fingers around his cold ones. He looked up at me with his honey colored eyes, and I felt my resolve waver. I still LOVED him. Shaking my head, I remembered Jacob lying in bed, in pain. Waiting for me. I took my hand from his grasp and stood up.

"I love you, Edward. But you scare me. With just a squeeze, you could kill me. If you nipped at my neck too hard, you would kill me."

"Bella, love, it won't be like that once you are changed…"

"Edward, don't you get it? I don't want to be changed. Not anymore. I want to live my life. I want to go to college, get married, and have babies. My own babies."

"Jacob?" he asked, also standing up, but turning away from me and looking out his windows into the midnight blue colors signaling twilight had come. I remembered how early in our relationship Edward had said to me,

"It's Twilight. The safest time of day for us, the easiest. But also the saddest in a way. The end of day, the return of night. Darkness is so predictable, don't you think?"* I couldn't remember what I had replied to him.

Thinking back on this, I realized now that Edward was my darkness. He was predictable, he was steadfast, and he would always come for me, no matter what. Jacob was my day; he was my sun. He lit up my life, he brought joy to those around him, and I felt honored to be in his life.

"Yes, Edward. I want to be with Jacob." He turned to face me.

"Are you sure?"

"What do you mean am I sure?" Leave it to Edward to second-guess my feelings. He was always doing this! Nothing I ever did was good enough for him. I can't believe that it had taken this long to realize it.

"He's so young, Bella. His future is in La Push. He won't ever leave. He can't. He is tied to that place. And you, I thought you hated it here."

"I did. But if the one that I love is here, then this is where I want to be too."

"He's going to mess it up" he sounded so sure of himself.

"And I'll forgive him."

"Has he imprinted?"

"Uh…"

"What will you do when he does?" I hadn't thought about that. He smirked, almost as if he could read my mind.

"Edward, where is this conversation getting us?" I asked, suddenly feeling very tired.

"Nowhere."

"I'm sorry. I'm sorry I couldn't become the woman that you wanted me to become. I know you loved the idea of that woman. But Edward, Jacob loves me not for who I can be, but for who I am. He loves me, clumsiness and all. He doesn't try to change me, or want me to do things that I don't want to do."

"I do them with your best interests in mind!" he cried, running his hand through his bronze locks.

"The prom, Edward? Where I can't dance? A graduation party, when I don't like being the center of attention? Asking me to marry you, when you know my feelings on the subject?" He was smart enough to look abashed. "How were those in my best interest?"

"These are all things you'd want to experience…"

"Yes, as a human. I get it. But I also want to experience things like kissing someone who can kiss me back, someone make love to me without freaking out about it. I want to experience having a baby. I want to experience grandchildren. But you and I won't be able to do that." He looked sad.

"No, no we won't be able to do that. I'm sorry, Bella. I can't be the man to do those things for you. I hope that Jacob truly can grow into the man you want to have. And if he doesn't, all you'll have to do is call, and I'll be here. I'll be waiting, forever, for him to mess up. For you to realize that it's me, it has always been me that you want to be with." He stepped up to me and stroked my cheek like he had that first time, outside of gym class. Where I had shuddered with desire back then, I shuddered in fear now.

"Edward, I have to go. Charlie is expecting me back in twenty minutes, and I don't want him worrying about me."

"By all means," he said, opening his door and holding it open for me. I stopped on the other side of the threshold and looked back at him and his other worldly beauty.

"Goodbye, Edward," I said, raising my hand in farewell. He raised his as well, and said,

"Until we meet again, Isabella." I hurried down the stairs, tripping over the last two. Rosalie and Alice gracefully rose to their feet. As I regained my balance, they strode over to me.

"Are you all right?" Rosalie asked.

"I think so. Alice? Will I be all right?"

"I can't tell!" She said, sounding frustrated. "I won't know your future anymore, because he is all tangled in it. That scares me, Bella."

"But Alice, you'll know my future because you'll be in it." I replied, kissing her stone cheek.

"I'd better be," she stated, sounding grumpy.

"I've got to go; I don't want to upset Charlie. I told him I'd only be here for an hour or so, and he'll probably worry." I hugged both of them goodbye and headed out to my truck. Glancing in my rearview, I saw Edward's silhouette framed by his window. A rogue tear escaped my eye. Was I making the right decision? As I got on the highway, I considered my options.

A call to Charlie and a complete U-turn was in order.

**A/N: AHHHH What is she going to do?!**


	5. Chapter 5

Chapter 5-Alice POV

_They were coming, four gray shrouded figures running through the mist and smoke, feelings of excitement coming off them in waves. Their orders were simple. Kill the person who was making newborns, kill the newborns who threatened our secret. _

I turned to Jasper, worry etched on my face.

"What's the matter, love?" he asked, noticing my expression and the feelings that I had been emitting. He tried to calm me.

"The Volturi are coming, like I thought. They'll be here in a couple of minutes," I explained. _Edward, you have to come now! _I thought, then I searched my mind for Bella.

_She was afraid. I saw Bella looking at Edward in horror. She held a piece of rock in her hand, wondering if it would hurt him. He walked up to her and then I saw her future disappear. _

I started to freak out, but then realized that I'd be able to see Edward's future if something bad had happened. She was probably just thinking of going to see Jacob. Crazy werewolves and their defensive mechanisms. It frustrated me that I couldn't see the future when they were around. Once Bella stopped thinking about seeing him and thought about doing something else, her future would come back to me.

I watched as Edward carried her into the clearing. Still, there was nothing coming from her, just murkiness. I watched as Edward told her that Jacob had been hurt and was horrified to see her body go limp in his arms. He laid her down on the grass while Carlisle and I ran to them. I reassured Edward that she was coming back.

"Jacob?" I heard. I watched Edward's face harden at the first word out of Bella's mouth. I listened as he and Carlisle explained what had happened, still searching as to where the Volturi guards were.

"Three minutes," I told them, going to stand next to my husband. Edward helped Bella up, and I noticed that she shied away from his touch. Hmm. We turned to the sound of the guards approaching. Carlisle and Edward spoke with Jane, explaining what had happened. During the conversation, I couldn't help shooting Bella looks of confusion. Why wasn't her future coming back to me? I was relieved to know that the visit was coming to an end when Jane turned to Bella and said,

"Caius will be so interested to hear that you're still human, Bella. Perhaps he'll decide to visit." Bella's eyes widened in fright.

"The date is set. Perhaps we'll come visit you in a few months," I interjected, glancing at Bella again. She looked back at me with a guarded expression. What was going on with her?

Carlisle turned to us and told us that he had to go attend to Jacob's injuries. He suggested that we all head home. Jasper looked at my expectantly, but I shook my head at him slightly. He looked at me, confused.

"Bella?" Edward asked, extending his hand to her. She just stared at him, with a deer-in-the-headlights look. I took pity on her.

"Edward, why don't you go ahead? I'll go with Bella to her house, get her changed and showered."

"Is that okay with you, Bella?" After a quick glare in my direction, he turned back to his mate.

"That'd be great. Yeah. I'll catch up with you later."

"Very well," he said, handing me the keys to the Volvo. "Keep her safe." He stepped up to her and kissed her, obviously not noticing the feelings of terror that were emanating off her. He glanced once more at me, then followed Emmett and Rosalie. I kissed my fist and sent it to Jasper, who nodded and followed after Edward. I turned to Bella.

"You'd better get on my back. I'll run us to the Volvo."

"Can you carry me?" she asked with surprise in her voice. I laughed.

"Of course I can. Get on." She climbed on and within five minutes we were at the car. Setting her down next to the passenger door, I unlocked the car. She climbed in and I started the car before turning toward her.

"Bella, I don't know what you're thinking, but all I know is that your future has disappeared. What's going on?"

"I don't really know. It's just…after seeing Edward fighting Victoria…I'm scared," she confessed, and I pulled out onto the highway. If I had been driving the Porshe we'd be halfway to town already. I focused on Bella's words.

"Scared of what? There's nothing to be afraid of any more."

"Scared of him."

"You're scared of…Edward?" I was incredulous. She sighed.

"Very."

"Well, you'll be changed in just a couple of months. You won't have anything to be afraid of anything anymore," I pointed out.

"No."

"No, what?"

"No, I won't be changed."

"Bella, you're not making any sense. You have to be changed," I insisted. She and Edward were going to be married, but I didn't know what would happen if she didn't get changed.

"No. No I don't."

"The Volturi…" I worried.

"I can't be with Edward any more. He frightens me too much."

"Okay, but why can't I see your future anymore?"

"Because I'm going to tell Jake that I am in love with him too."

"What? Bella!" No way! I knew that she loved him. It was evident, but I didn't realize that it was comparable to the love that she had for my brother. When did this happen? I pulled the car into the driveway behind her truck. She got out of the car without a word. I quickly followed her up the stairs and into the house.

"Bella…" I started.

"Alice, I've made my decision," she said with an air of finality. I was instantly angry with her. How could she do this to him?

"I thought you loved Edward," I said, accusingly.

"I do!" She protested. All right, this much was true.

"Then why are you going to leave him?" I asked, feeling very confused. Bella didn't make any sense.

"Because he's not the right person for me. Alice, look at him. Look at him. He's a vampire. I'm a human. He's perfect, I'm…flawed." She never saw herself for what she really was.

"But he loves you. He needs you," I gently reminded her.

"Alice, Edward needs someone to protect. Remember that time when he was younger, when he would kill people who hurt other people? What has he been doing all this time? He's been protecting me. He's bossed me around, made me think that my decisions aren't enough. He acts more like my father than my boyfriend, restricting where I can be, having you watch me when he goes out of town. I can't do that any more. I want a boyfriend. An equal." She had a point. I had warned Edward that he was going to push her too far.

She turned and tripped up the stairs. Sighing, I followed her. She went into her bedroom to grab a sweatshirt and a pair of ratty jeans, then closed the door in my face. I rolled my eyes and went back into her room to rifle through her closet for better clothes, then opened the door to the bathroom and sat on the counter. When she turned off the water, I handed her a towel. She dried herself off then opened the curtain. Looking into her sad eyes, I said,

"I went in your room and got you better clothes. If you're going to tell Jacob how you feel, you need to look good doing it. No sweats." She sighed and took the clothes I handed to her, getting dressed. I grabbed the hairbrush from the counter and stood up to brush her hair.

"Are you sure about this, Bella?"

"Nope." She peeked at our reflections in the mirror.

"This is going to break Edward's heart." This I knew for sure.

"I know," she said. "There's no way I can avoid it." I sighed and plugged in the hairdryer. After finishing her hair and touching her up with some makeup, I stood back to look at her. How could she not know she was beautiful?

"I know you're doing what is best for yourself. But I want you to know that no matter what, you'll still be my sister, and my best friend." I wrapped my arms around her warm shoulders and hugged her close.

"You won't tell him, before I can, will you?" she asked me.

"Of course not. He'll be here when you get back though, I can assure you that."

"I know," she said, sounding resigned. I kissed her cheek, the followed her downstairs. She scribbled a note for Charlie, then grabbed the keys to her truck. I lead the way out the door.

"Good luck, Bella," I said. She nodded, looking nervous. I walked to the Volvo and pulled away.

Arriving back at the house, Edward came running out.

"Where's Bella?" he asked, sounding alarmed.

"Relax, Edward. She's gone to La Push to check on Jacob."

"When will she be back?"

"You know I don't know that. She told me later, she still has to make dinner for Charlie, so dinnertime," I fudged. He nodded.

"I'm going for a run. I'll see you later," he said, clearly frustrated. I sighed, then headed inside to my love. He was standing in the entryway when I walked in the door, and held his arms out to me. I threw myself into them. If I could cry, I knew that tears would be running down my face.

"What's wrong, Alice?" Jasper asked desperately. "What is going on?" I explained what had happened in the clearing and at Bella's. Horror came over his face.

"Edward," he said.

"It is going to kill him," I agreed.

"Can you see anything?" he asked. I shook my head.

"Not with her future leading to Jacob."

"Poor Edward. Poor Bella. Poor Alice," he said, kissing my forehead. I sighed.

"Let's go for a hunt," I suggested. He nodded and we headed out. A couple of hours later we were lazily walking back to the house when my cell phone rang. I didn't recognize the number that flashed over the screen.

"Hello?" I asked.

"Alice?" Bella's panicked voice rang over the line.

"Bella?" I returned. "Bella, what's wrong?"

"Edward, I think he heard my dad and I talking about Jake and I. I didn't mean for him to, but he was outside when I went to come over to your house, and I think he heard! He wasn't supposed to find out this way!" She sounded like she was in tears.

"Bella, calm down. Edward just pulled up. I'll see you in a couple of minutes." I hung up the phone and hurried over to Edward, Jasper following after me.

"Edward," I started.

"Alice…can you see her?" he asked me. Looking into his topaz eyes, so like the ones I looked at in the mirror every day, I couldn't lie.

"No, Edward, I can't." He nodded once, then went up to his room. I looked unhappily over at Jazz, then walked inside. Rosalie was standing up, talking on her phone.

"…where are you? Oh, there you are. I'll wait outside for you," I glanced at her, then walked up the stairs to listen at Edward's door. I knocked. Silence, then the sounds of Beethoven's Moonlight Sonata came through the door. I sighed, then headed downstairs to find Rosalie with her arm around Bella's shoulders.

"He refuses to talk to me. He's upstairs," I said unhappily.

"I'm sorry, Alice," she said, hugging me. Ugh. The stench of wet dog and mud came rolling off her.

"What's the matter?" she asked, alarmed.

"Gah, Bella, you smell like dog."

"I'm sorry," she said, looking down at the floor.

"I guess I'd better get used to it," I said. Her eyes flew to my face, so I hurried to add "Well, if you're going to be with him, you're going to smell like him."

"You mean you're still going to want to be around me?" she said, sounding amazed. Rosalie laughed.

"Of course. You're still our sister," she said. "You should probably get up there and talk to him." She heaved a great sigh.

"You're probably right." She walked up the stairs slowly then stopped at his room to knock on the door, then opened it.

"Poor Bella," Rosalie said. I looked up at her in surprise, as did Jasper and Emmett.

"Poor Bella?" Jasper asked.

"Yes. I understand her now. She loves Edward, but she wants more from her life. She wants a family. She wants to grow old. She has a choice. We didn't. She's made the right choice, but this is going to kill her." We all stared at her in shock, until she let out an aggravated huff. "No one understands me!"

I laughed as she sat down next to Emmett. We all sat in silence, trying not to listen to the conversation that we could hear as easily as if they had been sitting next to us.

"Until we meet again, Isabella," I heard Edward's sad voice say, then came Bella's heavy footsteps on the stairs. Rose and I stood up. She tripped over the last two steps and righted herself. I heard Emmett's quiet chuckle behind me and glared at him.

"Are you all right?" Rosalie asked, as we stepped up to her. Tears were swimming in her eyes.

"I think so. Alice? Will I be all right?" she asked, hoping for reassurance.

"I can't tell!" I said, frustrated. "I won't know your future anymore, because he is all tangled in it. That scares me, Bella."

"But Alice, you'll know my future because you'll be in it." she said, leaning into kiss my cheek. Feeling grumpy from all the static she was now surrounded in, I replied,

"I'd better be."

"I've got to go; I don't want to upset Charlie. I told him I'd only be here for an hour or so, and he'll probably worry," she said, hugging both of us. We watched her walk out of the house and towards the truck. Silently, we listened to the fading roar of her truck's engine. I heard Edward's window open and his escape from the house. I wouldn't try to go to him, he needed his space. Suddenly, a vision came.

_Bella kissing Edward. Bella in an evening gown. Edward and Bella running through a stream of rice. Bella with red eyes._

"No!" I said, grabbing for my phone and dialed back the number that Bella had called from. Rosalie hurried to me.

"Alice?" she asked, surprised. "I was…"

"No, Bella! Keep driving. Don't come back, it will only make it worse. You've made your decision. Don't come back because you feel bad."

"Alice, how did you…"

"I was able to see your future again," I said simply. Rosalie stared at me with her mouth open.

"I was just going to come and try to make it better," she protested.

"I saw you in a wedding gown and with red eyes. If you come back now, you are forfeiting your life with Jacob. Is that what you want?"

"I don't know," she whispered.

"Bella, go to Jacob," I said, and knew what she had decided when my vision went away. "Good. I'll talk to you soon. I love you."

"I love you too, Alice. And…thanks."


	6. Chapter 6

Thanks so much for all the awesome reviews! Keep 'em coming. I'm glad you all like the story. Make sure that you check me out on Simply Twilight and Twilighted, both links are on my profile! I've got another great story on ST that I'm doing with another author, if you like Jacob Black and steamy sex scenes, you know you wanna check it out here: ?sid=269&warning=8

Thanks! As always, Stephenie Meyers owns everything Twilight. I wish I was that cool.

Chapter 6-Bella

I called Charlie, letting him know I was going to be later. He was silent, then agreed reluctantly. I pulled off to the side of the highway and laid my face in my hands. Edward…he was hurting so badly. I felt an emptiness in my chest without him. The idling engine drowned out the sounds of my sobs. I had to go back. I had to make this better.

The sound of the trilling phone startled me. I grabbed it.

"Alice?" I asked with surprise in my voice. Why was she calling me? "I was…"

"No, Bella! Keep driving. Don't come back, it will only make it worse. You've made your decision. Don't come back because you feel bad," she commanded.

"Alice, how did you…" I was confused. I thought she couldn't see me any more.

"I was able to see your future again," she said. I was shocked. But that didn't make any sense.

"I was just going to come and try to make it better," I argued. I needed to make this better. I needed to fix this. The image of Edward's broken face flashed through my mind.

"I saw you in a wedding gown and with red eyes. If you come back now, you are forfeiting your life with Jacob. Is that what you want?" she demanded.

"I don't know," I whispered.

"Bella, go to Jacob," Alice said. The other end of the line was silent while I considered my life. What did I want? Did I want the sun, or the darkness? Edward offered me eternity, Jacob offered me life. Their faces flashed in my mind, so unalike in features, but the looks on their faces were the same: full of love for me. Whose Bella did I want to be?

Edward had an idealized perfect woman pictured in his mind that he tried to turn me into. Jacob already knew I was the perfect woman for him. And I was the perfect woman for him.

"Good. I'll talk to you soon. I love you."

"I love you too, Alice. And…thanks." I felt freed from myself. I aimed my truck in the direction of La Push and drove as fast as I could, which admittedly wasn't very fast. I had always laughed it off when Edward complained about the slow speed of my beloved truck, but right now, I cursed it just as he had. I couldn't get back to the man I loved fast enough.

The part of me that still loved Edward was dying inside. I knew that he wouldn't give up and that he would spend the rest of his existence pining over me. I knew that. And perhaps, in a way, I'd spend the rest of my life wondering what could have been with him. When old age crept up, I'm sure a part of me would wish that I had become forever frozen at eighteen when I had the chance.

The other part of me was stronger than that small part of me. The other part of me knew that I loved Jacob Black and that I wanted to be with him, to have his children, to grow old with him.

What happens when he imprints? The smaller part of me asked, almost mockingly. What if you aren't really the perfect woman for him? Why did this small part of me have the silky voice of Edward? Well, what would happen if (when) he imprinted? I didn't really understand imprinting, but I got the idea that he couldn't be away from the one he imprinted on. He couldn't stay with me. He'd have to be with this faceless person who I hated with all of my being already.

It wouldn't matter if we'd been married for fifteen years and had three kids. He'd still leave me.

This realization hurt. It hurt a lot.

But, the stronger, bigger part of my heart replied that it didn't care. If I got a week or a lifetime with Jacob Black, my heart could rejoice in that time I spent with him.

Jacob. I never would have thought. I'd known him all of our lives, but I hadn't ever believed that he would be the one for me. When I would stay with Charlie in Forks, I'd spend time with Jacob and his sisters Rachel and Rebecca. That is, until I was fourteen and told Charlie I wouldn't come up here again. I hadn't thought of Jacob until I moved back, and now I was head over heels for him. Who would have guessed that the one for me was really there all along?

I smiled as I pulled into the driveway. I knew that if he were awake, Jake would have heard me. The lights were off in the kitchen and living room; Charlie had told me that Billy had gone over to the Clearwaters. I hurried up the stairs, trying desperately not to trip. I pulled open the screen and pushed the front door open.

"Jacob?" I called. I was suddenly nervous. Now that I wasn't tied to Edward, I didn't have anything to stop me from being with Jake. I made myself put one foot in front of the other down the hallway and opened his bedroom door.

I stood there for a second, looking at him. He was amazing. His dark hair was growing back; it was starting to hang in his face. His russet skin was stretched over his bulging muscles. He was so tall that he had to lie horizontally on his bed to be comfortable. His black eyes were watching me. I could see the questions in his eyes, his eyes. They looked so like Edward's this evening. Did he doubt my love for him that much? I felt the tears threatening to spill. Why were these tears coming? I tried to speak, but only a sob came out.

He held out his arms, and I leapt across the room onto the bed next to him. He wrapped his arms around me as I cried into his shoulder. I felt his fingers in my hair, trying to soothe me. This show of love just made me cry harder. Why had I made him suffer for so long when he was the one who truly loved me? He loved me, and I loved him.

"Bells?" he asked, his voice sounding off, kind of clogged.

"I'm sorry. I'm so sorry," I apologized, trying to sniffle back my tears.

"Sorry?" He sounded confused and nervous.

"I can't help it," I cried, burying my head into his neck. The warmth reassured me, and made me feel a bit stronger.

"Can't help what?"

"Can't help crying," I half-laughed. I sounded like crap and probably looked like crap too. This thought made me get teary again.

"What are you crying about?" he asked, sounding alarmed.

"His face. He was devastated. It hurts me so much to see him in pain like this. It is a reminder of what your face looked like when I told you in the woods that I was going to be with Edward." I sobbed. I was taken back to that awful day a couple of months ago, the pain in his face, the smile that he forced to show me that he was still "my" Jacob. I really thought that Edward was the one for me, and I almost ruined my life with Jacob.

"So, you're really going to stay with me? He didn't change your mind?" He sounded surprised. I was shocked out of my tears. That was why he sounded so strange? He thought that I was going to leave him? Thought that I could leave him? I couldn't believe it. I looked up at him, tears staining my cheeks and said,

"Yes, Jake. I'm going to stay with you. No one can change my mind now." I scooted up and placed my lips on his. His lips were warm against my cold, wet ones. Feeling brave, I ran my tongue along his lips, and his tongue touched against mine. I felt a shiver run through me, though it had nothing to do with being cold. I eagerly discovered his mouth, enjoying the euphoria that I was in. I felt his warm hands move from where they were tangled in my hair down my back, and his fingers slipped under my shirt and across my stomach. I moved my hands across his back, loving the feel of his hard muscles under my skin.

I felt his fingers undoing the buttons of my shirt. Once he was done with the last button, his scorching fingertips grazed over the top of my bra, touching the skin above it. I felt my heart pound faster, and I felt a gasp squeeze out of my lungs. He paused, breaking our kiss. I opened my eyes to see what he was doing. Our eyes met, black to brown.

And the world stopped.

I forgot what we were doing. I forgot where we were. I forgot Edward, the whole Cullen family. I forgot Charlie, Renee, Angela, and my other friends from school. I didn't think about Jacob's family or the pack.

There was no one else in this world, other than Jacob and me. It was if there had been a terrible accident, wiping everyone else off the Earth, leaving Jake and I to be the luckiest survivors ever. I felt everything that I ever felt for anyone else suddenly dim in comparison to the feelings I had for the man in front of me. It seemed like I was in the middle of an earthquake, a tornado, and a hurricane all at the same time as I came to the conclusion that Jacob had been right all along, it had been him for me. We were imprinted. He was my soul mate, just as he had been telling me all along. And I had resisted and resisted, not understand that being his would be the best thing that could ever happen to me.

I felt my eyes widen as I looked at him. It was as if I had never really seen him. He was beautiful. I remembered telling him that once, and he had laughed it off. But he truly was. And he was mine.

Looking back into his perfect coal eyes, I realized that this was happening for him too. He was looking at me as if I was a totally different person.

"Bella," he whispered, raising his hand to cup my face. I leaned into his warmth.

"Jacob," I whispered back, amazed at what was happening.

"I love you," he said reverently.

"And I love you," I replied, feeling the same awe I heard in his voice. Our lips met for the sweetest, most loving kiss I could have ever had. He hugged me to his body and smiles came across our faces.

"We imprinted," Jake said, sounding smug.

"We did," I agreed, snuggling up to him.

We laid there in happiness, unable to express with words how we felt. I wondered if it was possible that the others who had imprinted felt like this too, but I dismissed that thought. No one could ever love their mates as much as Jake and I loved each other.

In the distance, I heard a phone ring. I was put out that the ringing was interrupting my moments of bliss with Jacob. Sighing, he reached over me to answer the phone.

"Hello? Oh, hey Charlie. Yeah, she's here. Hold on," Jake said, handing me the phone. I put the phone up to my ear.

"Hello?"

"Bells? I was just wondering what time I could expect you home." I glanced over at the clock. It was eleven o'clock. I sighed.

"I'll leave here in just a few minutes. I should be home in about a half hour."

"Okay. I'll see you when you get here."

"Okay, bye." I gave the phone back to Jake so he could hang it back up. Sighing, I turned over onto my back.

"How am I supposed to leave you now?" I asked, watching his fingers walk up my belly.

"We have forever," he said. I smiled at that thought.

"True." I stood up, immediately missing the warmth of his body. He watched as I buttoned my shirt back up.

"Can you come back tomorrow?" he asked me.

"Of course. I'll be up after breakfast." I leaned over to kiss him, and he caught my arm as I pulled away.

"I love you, Bells," he said.

"I love you, Jake," I said, and then I walked out of the door. I already felt everything trying to pull me back into that room where my love was, but I forced myself to get into the truck and head back into Forks.

I was amazed by the events that had transpired that day. I woke up this morning wrapped in Jacob's arms but happily in love with Edward. The battle in the woods changed my life in more ways than one. I no longer had a crazed vampire on my tails, trying to avenge her mate's death with my own. I also wasn't in love with the man I thought I was in love with this morning. I had made the decision to live, not to die. And my life had been changed…I was now irreversibly bound to Jacob.

Pulling into the driveway, I noticed the living room light on, with the reflection of the big screen shining on the front window. Smiling to myself, I stepped into the house. My dad, sprawled across the couch, sat straight up.

"Bells! Hey! How'd it go tonight?"

"Good, Dad, it went good."

"So…"

"So I'm with Jacob now."

"Good!" A smile spread across his face, and I felt my lips curl into one in return. "So, what are you going to do now? Are you still going to go to the University of Alaska?" My face dropped. I had written the check for the first semester's tuition, and it was supposed to go into the mail on Monday. But I wouldn't…couldn't leave Jacob.

"I don't know yet, Dad. I need to figure stuff out."

"Bells…" he hesitated. "Don't only make your plans based on Jacob and where he's going to be. He has got another year or two of high school. You need to think of yourself."

"Thanks, Dad. I'll think about it, and I'll let you know." He hugged me.

"I'm going to finish watching the game. I'll see you in the morning." I smiled and headed up the stairs to the bathroom where I took a shower. I imagined the warm water to be Jacob's fingers coursing over my body, which of course made my entire body blush.

Stepping out of the shower, I dried myself off and brushed my teeth, cursing myself for forgetting to grab my pajamas. I wrapped myself securely in my towel, just in case the game was over and Charlie was upstairs. I darted into my room without being seen. Closing my door, I shivered. It was chilly.

The window was open.

Of course it was. I had always left it open for Edward, even when he was gone. I sighed. It was time to close the window.

I walked through the darkened room to the windowsill and looked out. Tonight, I knew there were no vampires or werewolves patrolling my house. I was safe. With a heavy heart, I reached up and closed the window.

And gasped in fright at the surprised choking sound behind me.


	7. Chapter 7

**A/N: Thanks so much to everyone who has read and reviewed my story! I'm so glad that you like it. I'm really enjoying writing it. **

**Big thanks need to go out to my betas, Saluki and mybrandofheroin. They are the best and without them, this story would be full of grammar issues and comma splices. YAY for no comma splices! **

**Also big smooches to my husband who watches our kids so I can write. **

**Stephenie Meyer owns everything Twilight, I own two kids and a huge crush on a very hot 17 year old boy. **

Chapter 7-Jacob's POV

I was in heaven. Bella loved me, I loved her, and all was right with the world.

Save for some shitty crushed bones, I'd say the day was ending up all right.

She hadn't told the bloodsucker yet though. I was nervous about that. What if she went to tell him and lost all her resolve, just to tell me again that she didn't love me? I wouldn't be able to stand it.

Well, I couldn't stand anyway, but you get the point.

So I worked dirty. I kissed her so she wouldn't be able to think about anyone else besides me. By the time that she left, she had stars in her eyes, and I was a little concerned about her trying to drive home, drunk from my kissing skill.

And I was stoned from these painkillers.

Right after Bella left, I fell asleep for a little while, waking up when Paul sat down on my bed and started flicking my ear.

"What the fuck, Paul?" I groaned.

"Paul, leave him alone," Emily's voice chided. She came into the bedroom, carrying a big plate of food. Fried chicken, mashed potatoes, four biscuits…yum. I sat up as best as I could. Most of the bones in my chest and abdomen were still healing, but my arm was better, it was just aching now. Emily handed me the plate, and I dug in.

"Thanks, Emily," I said with my mouth full. She laughed.

"You're welcome, Jacob." Sam came up behind her and put his hand on her shoulder.

"How are you feeling?" Sam asked me.

"Better."

"Billy tells me you had a visitor."

"Yeah."

"What? Who?" Emily and Paul asked at the same time.

"It seems as if Bella might think she has chosen the wrong monster," Sam said, a grimace on his face. The smile that had come over my face disappeared.

"The leech isn't good enough for her anymore?" Paul asked. I grabbed the closest thing to me, which happened to be the lamp, and heaved it at his head. He caught it.

"Terrible job, Jake."

"I was throwing with my left hand."

"I'll give you that," he said with a chuckle, setting the lamp back on the table, plugging it in, and then heading to find my sister Rachel, with whom he had imprinted with the week before.

"Jacob, are you sure that Bella is the right one for you?" Emily asked with concern in her voice.

"Of course. She's the one for me." I finished the food, nibbling the small bits of chicken off the bone. Emily smacked my head and took the plate into the kitchen.

"For what it's worth, I'm really nervous about this. Bella is engaged to the bloodsucker. She has done this to you before, and it almost killed you," Sam said, placing his hand on my left shoulder. I hung my head. He was gently reminding me of when I thought I had her, but she slipped through my fingers into the waiting arms of Edward. He was right. It really had almost killed me.

"She told me that she loves me. That she wants to be with me," I protested, feeling my heavy heart in my chest.

"I hope that she means it this time. I can't stand to have you hurting. Your pain is my pain, you know that."

"I know." I hung my head. Sam straightened up.

"I'm expecting you to be completely healed in two days or so. If you need any more time off, that's okay, we can figure a way to make it work."

"I should be okay," I said, fighting a yawn. "Shit, I am so tired. I can't seem to stay awake."

"Jacob, if you're tired, go to sleep," Emily commanded from the doorway.

"What kind of medicine is this?" I asked, feeling fuzzy. Sam looked at the label and laughed.

"Horse pain killers." Great, I thought, closing my eyes.

When I woke back up, the sky was dark, as was my room. I clicked on the table lamp I had thrown at Paul. Glancing at the clock, I saw that it was after nine o'clock. Gingerly, I poked and prodded at my body. My chest was still aching, and my leg was on fire. My forearm was completely healed, but my shoulder was still pretty bad. Rolling over as best as I could, I picked up the phone on my bedside table and dialed the Swan's number.

"Hello?"

"Hey Charlie," I said.

"Oh, hey Jake. How are you feeling?"

"Like I got into a motorcycle accident," I laughed gently.

"Gotta be careful with that. Stop being so reckless. Bells needs someone who is going to be able to stick around."

"Oh. She told you?" This was news. I wouldn't have thought she would. Bella wasn't someone who would talk about her emotions and stuff.

"Yeah. Congratulations, Jake," he said, the smile evident in his voice.

"Uh, thanks. So, is Bella around?"

"Oh, no. She went over to see Cullen. She told me she had to talk to him, to tell him about you guys. Then he showed up on our doorstep. I thought that they'd just stay here and talk, but Bella still went over there. She told me she wouldn't be more than an hour and a half, and I'm expecting that she'll be back any time now."

"Oh, okay. Will you have her call me when she gets home?"

"Sure, Jake. Talk at you later."

"Bye," I said, hanging the phone up on the receiver. Grabbing the newest Car and Driver magazine that Quil had left me, I tried to read and not watch the time go by. I started to worry when it had been over thirty minutes since I had talked to Charlie. What if the bloodsucker had hurt her? I had started trying to figure out how I could get up and try to get to her with these casts on. Could I phase?

In the distance, I heard a familiar roar.

I wasn't sure whether to be happy or nervous. Was she coming back to tell me that she had changed her mind? That she had made a mistake, that the leech was the one she wanted to be with? Or was she coming back just to be with me? If I could have gotten up to pace, I would have.

Instead, I was trapped in my bed.

As the truck pulled into the driveway, I steeled myself. I could get through this if she had decided that she was better off with him. She hurried up the steps, and then let herself in while knocking. My dad must be at the Clearwaters or something, because there was no sound coming from the front of the house.

"Jacob?" she called, heading down the hallway, and opening the door.

There she was. She stood there for a couple of seconds, looking at me while I watched her. With a half-strangled sob, she crossed the room in one bound (surprisingly graceful) and threw herself into my waiting arms.

I stroked her hair as she cried into my shoulder. So this was it. She was leaving me.

"Bells?"

"I'm sorry. I'm so sorry."

"Sorry?"

"I can't help it," she said, burying her head into my neck.

"Can't help what?"

"Can't help crying."

"What are you crying about?"

"His face. He was devastated. It hurts me so much to see him in pain like this. It is a reminder of what your face looked like when I told you in the woods that I was going to be with Edward." She sobbed. Wait. It sounded like…

"So, you're really going to stay with me? He didn't change your mind?"

"Yes, Jake. I'm going to stay with you. No one can change my mind now." She leaned into me and kissed me, softly at first, then it grew in intensity. She ran her tongue across my lips and granted me access to her open mouth. I explored her mouth, and she explored mine. I moved my hands from her hair to the small of her back, running my hands under the hem of her shirt. Her fingers explored the muscles of my back, and I inched my hands up her shirt, flicking the buttons on her shirt open, exposing her bra.

She gasped as my fingers traced over the edges of the blue and purple striped cotton. I paused, not sure if she was okay with this. She opened her eyes and stared into mine.

That's when it happened.

I forgot everything. I forgot the bloodsucker, his family, the pack, my family. No one else, nothing else mattered anymore, only this beautiful woman in front of me. My whole earth started quaking as the realization hit that all along, it had been Bella. She was my imprint; she was the person who was my other half, my true soul mate in all essences of the word.

Her eyes widened as the feeling seemed to hit her too. She continued to stare at me as if she had never seen me before. Perhaps I hadn't ever really seen her before. Never like this. She was perfect in every way.

"Bella," I said, softly, raising my hand to the side of her face.

"Jacob," she returned with wonderment in her voice.

"I love you," was all I could think to say.

"And I love you," she replied, then leaned in to kiss me again. That kiss was heaven on earth.

Bella was mine, and all was right with the world. I hugged her to me, reveling in the fact that I had been right all along, and Bella and I were truly meant to be.

"We imprinted," I said, feeling smug. Take that, everyone who doubted us!

"We did," she agreed, snuggling up to me.

We laid there staring at each other with silly smiles on our faces. Was this the way that Paul felt about my sister? I knew that Sam felt close to this, but I didn't think that anyone could actually feel the same way about their imprint as I did about Bella. The history we have and the things that we've been through together recently surely strengthened our bond.

The phone rang next to Bella's head. She groaned, voicing my displeasure as well. I sighed and picked up the phone.

"Hello?"

"Jake?"

"Oh, hey Charlie," I returned.

"Hey, is Bella there? She called me earlier and told me she was going to be later than expected, but I didn't know if she was with you or Edward," he said, sounding a little nervous.

"Yeah, she's here. Hold on," I said, placing the phone in Bella's outstretched hand.

"Hello?" she answered, a little anxiously. I ran my fingers over the pale skin of her stomach. She shivered then pushed my hands away.

"I'll leave here in just a few minutes. I should be home in about a half hour." Only a couple of minutes? I felt a pout coming on. Seriously? I was turning into a fucking girl because of Bella. "Okay, bye," she said, hanging up the phone and handing it to me. I stretched over her to put it back. She sighed and flipped on her back. I grinned at the sight of her shirt falling open. I took advantage of her obliviousness and moved my fingers back to her stomach.

"How am I supposed to leave you now?" she asked, suddenly paying close attention to my fingers walking up past her belly button.

"We have forever," I said. She smiled at that.

"True." she stood up. I watched as she buttoned up her shirt. Who knew that buttons being done could cause physical pain?

"Can you come back tomorrow?" I asked her.

"Of course. I'll be up after breakfast." she said, stooping over the bed to kiss me. As she turned, I shot my hand out to grab her arm.

"I love you, Bells," I said, wondering if I'd ever grow tired of telling her.

"I love you, Jake," she said with a wide smile, then walked out the door. It was painful to watch her leave. It was like half of me had been wrenched away from me. I reached for the pain pills on my nightstand and swallowed one dry since I didn't have a bottle of water.

I had always known that Bella and I would be together. It was meant to be. I was just pleased that she had finally recognized it too and was no longer trying to fight it.

"Jake?" I heard my dad's voice ring out.

"In here!" I shouted back. His wheelchair squeaked down the hall.

"Good, you're awake. How are you doing?"

"Fantastic," I said, a wide grin coming over my face.

"What's going on?" he asked, a curious expression on his face.

"Bella came over," I said, unable to hide my happiness.

"Again?" he asked.

"Yeah. She broke up with the leech."

"She did?" he repeated, sounding incredulous. What was with the skepticism? Was it so fucking surprising that she'd want to be with me?

"Yes," I replied tersely.

"And?" Billy said to me, knowing that something was coming.

"We imprinted," I said with the smile coming back on my face.

"You did?" Again, with the incredulous tone of voice. What was up with that?

"Yeah," I said, trying to figure out his expression, but the medicine was beginning to show the effects and my mind was becoming foggy.

"Good for you," he said, then turned out of the room, leaving me to wonder why he wasn't more excited about the thing that he and Charlie had been hoping for almost all our lives finally happening. I couldn't think about it for long before the painkillers took over all consciousness thought.

**A/N: So what do you think? Do you like Jake's POV? I do. Why do you think Billy is acting strange? Hmmmm. **

**Leave me some love ****J**


	8. Chapter 8

A/N: Thanks to all of you who have reviewed. I know I'm bad about responding to them, that would be because I am a fan fiction idiot. 

COUPLE OF THINGS I WANNA ANNOUNCE!!

My stories Once Upon a Moon and Heart in a Headlock are nominated for some awards! PLEASE vote! 

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(hiah nominated for best kiss and best non-canon pairing, ouam is nominated for best non-canon and best twist) 

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OUaM is nominated for Best Bella, Best Non-Canon, Best Romance and Best WIP

HiaH is nominated for Best Humor, Best Lemon and Best Romance

**Please remember I have more chapters of these stories up on www{dot}simply twilight{dot}com (click on the little pencil on the left to find the fanfics, then find me as an author!)**

Steph Meyer owns Twilight. I do not, however, I do own a Jeep with 90,000 miles on it and a jogging stroller with 0. J

**Chapter 7-Bella's POV**

**I whipped around to where the gasp had come from. There was Edward, sitting on my bed, next to the backpack I had forgotten in his car. His mouth had dropped open and his topaz eyes were wide with shock. **

"**Edward! What are you doing here?" I hissed. **

"**I was going for a drive and saw that your backpack was in my backseat. You must have forgotten it this afternoon when you were Alice."**

"**Oh. Thanks," I said, surprised. I hadn't even thought about my backpack. "That was nice of you to bring it back."**

"**You are welcome, love," he said, unable to keep his eyes off me. I remembered what I was wearing, or actually, not wearing. The towels in this house were small, and it barely covered me. I blushed. **

"**Okay, so you brought my bag back. Thanks. You should probably leave now," I said, my voice shaking. He pointedly ignored my hint, stayed seated, and shifted his eyes from me to the window.**

"**You closed the window," he said, sounding hurt. My chest felt the weight of his words and I couldn't breathe from it.**

"**Yeah," I said, trying to sound casual. "It was chilly in here."**

"**You've never complained before." No, I never had. I would wrap my body in blankets so I would stay warm next to his cold, marble-like body. Was it cold now, because I had become so used to the warmth of Jacob?**

"**Edward, you shouldn't be here," I said, stepping over to my dresser to pull out my pajamas. I couldn't figure out how I could put them on while he was in my room, but I didn't want to leave either. I had always thought that Edward was like a mirage. If I looked too closely or turned away, he would simply disappear. **

"**You're right. I shouldn't be." He turned toward the window. I felt terror flood through me at the thought of him leaving. **

"**Edward…" I couldn't think of what to say. I both wanted him to stay and wanted him to leave. I knew that I loved Jacob, but I also had love for this person in front of me. I couldn't just stand here and subject him to pain. **

"**Bella, I heard what you were talking about with Charlie," he said, turning to look me fiercely in the eyes. I was startled. "Please don't forfeit your education for Jacob Black. You are far too intelligent for that."**

"**I wouldn't do that," I said, indignant. "What do you take me for? An idiot?"**

"**Never that, love."**

"**Stop calling me that!" I cried, suddenly feeling furious. I couldn't bear to have him calling me his love, not when I felt this way about someone else. **

"**Calling you what?"**

"**Your love! You can't love me any more, because I love someone else."**

"**I'm sorry, Bella, but you will always be my love, no matter who you are in love with," he said, sitting back down on my purple comforter. **

"**I hate this," I confessed. **

"**Let's try to talk like normal people. You know I'm rational," he said. I looked at him skeptically. He chuckled. "All right, I'm not always rational when it comes to you. Let's try to work this out. Classes start in September. You've only got a couple more weeks to decide what to do." He sounded curious, but also interested and willing to listen.**

"**I don't know," I confessed, sitting on the bed next to him. "Since it is too late to apply to any other four year universities, I might just have to do my first year at Peninsula, but the good news is that I have enough to cover the entire year there. It's half of what my first semester at Alaska would have cost."**

"**Bella, do you need anything? Is money a problem? I can help if you do."**

"**No, thank you," I said politely. I couldn't take anything else from him, not when I had already taken his heart. I wished that I could give it back. **

"**Remember what Alice said? What Rosalie said?" Confused, I didn't know what he was hinting at. I looked up at him, staring into his golden eyes. **

"**Bella, you will always be a part of my family. Whether you are with me, or with…him. Just because we aren't together doesn't mean that I will ever stop caring for you. My heart is yours. It will always be yours." He touched my hand, resting on my knee. I sighed at the feel of his touch, feeling the light-headedness that always came when I was close to him. He leaned toward me. I closed my eyes in anticipation of his kiss. **

**Wait. I was with Jacob now. What was I doing? My eyes flew open.**

"**Edward. Stop." He froze. I realized I had never told him no before. **

"**Bella?"**

"**Edward, I'm with Jacob now. I love him. He loves me, and trusts me. It isn't right for you to be here any more. Especially when I'm only wrapped in a towel and need to get dressed."**

"**You're entirely right. I apologize. I was wrong for coming, and I can see it is time for me to leave. Be safe, Bella. Be happy." Edward leaned into me and kissed my forehead. For one weak second I clung to him, feeling his hard, icy skin against my warm, shower dampened skin. Was I truly making the right decision? Was it possible to have two soul mates? To have two futures with two different men? Realizing that while it was possible, I had to decide which Bella I wanted to be. **

"**Goodbye, Edward," I said, my voice thick, as if it was clogged. He stared into my eyes for another minute, and I felt the tears behind my eyelids threaten to fall. He turned, raised the window and stepped out. I quickly went to the sill to watch him, but he was gone before I could make him out in the darkness. **

**Choking on the tears that had finally started spilling, I closed the window and laid down on the spot of the bed that he vacated. It was still slightly colder where his body had been. I let the tears come. They didn't last as long as I thought they would. **

**Putting on my pajamas, I opened my backpack so I could unload it. Out came the dirty clothes, out came the toiletry bag. Everything smelled of Edward's special scent. I brought the clothes up to my nose, then dropped them into the laundry basket. I'd have to wash my clothes so they wouldn't bother Jake. Confident my backpack was empty, I turned off the light and went to sleep.**

**Jake took up my unconscious as much as he took up my conscious. I dreamt of him in both human form and wolf form. He was the most beautiful thing I had ever seen. Even though he couldn't be here in person, he held me throughout the night in my dreams. **

**After a particularly good dream, I unwillingly woke up. Turning over in bed, I glanced at the alarm clock. Eight am. I leapt out of bed, anxious to be with Jacob again. Throwing on a tee shirt and jeans, I hurried downstairs. I stuffed my laundry in the washer, then headed into the kitchen, where Charlie was sitting at the table with the Sunday newspaper. **

"**Morning, Dad," I said, hunting around the pantry for some cereal. **

"**Right here, Bells," he said, holding up the box of Cheerios. I poured the cereal into a bowl with some milk and sat down across from my father. **

"**Anything about those murders in Seattle?" I asked, taking a bite of my cereal. **

"**No, no more murders in the news. Maybe the murderer has left," Charlie said hopefully. If he only knew. **

"**Maybe," I offered.**

"**So, Bells, what are you up to today?"**

"**I'm going to head over to La Push. What are you doing?"**

"**Billy invited me over too. We're going to go fishing. Want to ride over with me?" **

"**Sure, Dad," I said, anxious to get there. "What time?" **

"**I've still got to shower and stuff. Give me some time for that. About a half hour?" **

"**Okay." Finishing my cereal, I took my bowl to the sink and washed the dishes, leaving them to dry in the dish drainer. I switched my laundry over to the dryer, made my grocery list for the next week. Noticing it was ten of nine, I called to Charlie that it was time to go. **

"**A little excited, are we, Bella?" He said, coming down the stairs with a smile. **

"**A little," I said. We headed out to the cruiser, Charlie laden with his fishing gear.**

"**I'm glad the weather is back to normal summer temperatures here," Charlie said, noting that the thermometer at the bank said that it was currently 57 degrees. The forecasted high was sixty five. Winter temperatures for Phoenix, but I was getting used to it. **

"**Yeah, these past couple of days have been really cold," I said, thinking about my night two nights ago, where I almost froze to death in the tent. Jacob had saved my life. **

"**I heard that it had snowed up on the mountains," Charlie said.**

"**Snow in June? Crazy," I said, smiling to myself. We drove mostly in silence to the reservation, but it was a nice, companionable silence, not the awkward silences we had when I first had moved to Forks. **

**My spirits lifted the closer we got to the Black's house, and as we turned in the driveway, I was about to jump out of the car, until I noticed Carlisle's Mercedes parked outside. **

"**Looks like Dr. Cullen is here checking Jacob out again. What a good man. Doing his job, even when Jacob stole his son's girlfriend."**

"**Jacob didn't steal me. You can't steal what is already yours," I said, dashing out of the car and towards the house. Charlie chuckled and went to the trunk to get his fishing stuff. Seth opened the door for me.**

"**Hey, Bella. You doing okay?" In my haste, I tripped over the door frame. He grabbed my arm to steady me.**

"**Thanks. Yeah, I'm okay. How's Jake?"**

"**Damn it! Do you have to press so fucking hard?" I heard him yell. **

"**I'm sorry, Jacob. I just need to check for any other internal injuries. But it seems like you're okay. Your arm is completely healed, I'd say your leg will be fine by tonight. Give it one more day of rest before you phase though. Just in case." Carlisle's calming voice lilted out to us. **

"**Sure, sure, doc."**

"**I'll leave some more pain pills here for you. Take them when you need them." **

"**Thanks, doc," he said. Leaving Seth's side, I walked down to the bedroom. **

"**Bella," Billy said, nodding to me with a heavily guarded expression on his face. Sam was behind him, wheeling him out of the room. **

"**Hi, Sam, Billy," I said, stepping to the side to give them room. "Charlie's outside. He's got all the fishing gear."**

"**Thanks. Hope they're biting today. Take good care of Jake," he said, his eyes on mine. Sam nodded to me, then pushed Billy out the front door, where I heard him call to Charlie. I looked towards Seth, who shrugged his shoulders. Returning the gesture, I stepped in the bedroom. I felt a huge weight had been lifted off me when I saw him. He was sitting up today. I smiled at the sight of him, and his eyes lit up when I walked in.**

"**Hey, Bells."**

"**Hi, Jake. Hi Carlisle," I said, feeling nervous.**

"**Hi, Bella. I was just finishing up here with Jacob. How are you doing today?" he seemed genuinely friendly. **

"**Fine, thank you," I said, sitting on the bed next to Jacob. He took my hand. "How's he doing today?"**

"**It seems as if this arm has completely healed and so have his ribs. His leg is mostly there. I just took off that cast. He's able to walk short distances, I've brought some crutches. He should be completely mended by tonight, but he'll still be sore. I'm trying to stress that he shouldn't phase for at least another day or two."**

"**Aww, doc…" Jake whined. I shot a stern look at him, and he looked abashed. **

"**He won't," I promised. **

"**Good. Now, Bella, I want to tell you, since you came in looking so worried, that none of us hold any grudges towards you or your decision. You've chosen to do what is best for you, and since we consider ourselves your family, we completely support you, even though your choice wasn't Edward." Tears streaming from my eyes, I stood up to hug Carlisle. His solid arms held me to him for a moment, then released me. **

"**Esme told me that she expects a visit at least once a week."**

"**Of course," I said, wiping my tears with the back of my hand. **

"**If you need anything, please, Bella, don't hesitate to ask. Jacob, that goes for you too."**

"**Thank you, Carlisle," I said. **

"**I've got to head to the hospital now. I'll be back tomorrow morning to check on your, call me if you need anything, anything at all." **

"**I'll walk you out," I said. I stepped out on the porch with Carlisle. Seth was standing out there, and looked up when we came out. Looking around to make sure Charlie wasn't around, Carlisle said,**

"**Bella, it is imperative that he does not phase for at least the next two days. The strain on his already weak bones could cause more breaks, and then could impair the healing process. Please, make sure that he understands that. Seth, you can help her. I've told Sam and Billy as well. I'm sure that between the four of you, you can make him see that he needs to think of himself for once."**

"**Of course. Send my love to everyone," I said. He nodded and walked over to his car. I watched him pull out of the driveway, then went back to Jake's room. He was trying to stand up. **

"**Jacob! What are you doing?" I screeched. "Get back in bed!"**

"**Relax, Bells. I've gotta pee," he laughed. There was a pair of crutches next to the bed that I hadn't noticed before. I handed them to him. **

"**Do you need help?"**

"**Oddly enough, Bells, I've been doing it myself for almost seventeen years now. I think I should still be able to grasp the basics." I blushed. He laughed again and kissed my cheek. **

"**I haven't had anything to eat yet. Think you can rustle me up some food?"**

"**Sure." I watched him hobble to the bathroom, then went into the kitchen. I found some eggs and a pound of bacon, and set myself to making him breakfast. After coming out of the bathroom, Jacob settled on the couch next to Seth. Five minutes later, I set a plate piled with eggs, bacon and toast in front of both Jacob and Seth. I did the dishes, then settled on the couch with Jake and Seth until noon, when Seth had to go an do a run around the reservation. **

**Jake wrapped his arm around my shoulder as he changed the channel to Pinks: All Out. I rolled my eyes. **

"**What?"**

"**I love your television choices."**

"**We can't watch sappy Shakespearean movies all the time," he protested. I giggled. He kissed my forehead. **

**I had not been happy like this before. My time with Edward was always marred by the threat of danger. Here, in Jake's arms, I was safe. **

**A/N: I love Carlisle. I needed to add him in a little. Are we happy that Jake is getting better? Thoughts? Comments? General bitchiness? Come follow me on twitter, and you can get story info and random tweets. **

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**All right, I'm done now. Love you guys.**


	9. Chapter 9

**A/N: All right, I know I am a complete fail, I do have excuses, all of them worse than the one before it. But hopefully I'll be back, and I'll try to post every couple of days. **

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**Chapter 9-Bella's POV**

I settled happily into Jacob's warm, strongly muscled arms. I had no interest in the television show so I focused instead on the muscles in Jacob's arms. I ran my hand over his arm, marveling at our contrasting skin. I mean, I knew I was white, but after spending so much time with Edward and Alice, I had thought I was actually tanning up.

Compared to Jacob I was not tanning at all. You would have thought that I was a vampire myself.

I continued my exploration of Jacob's body, working my way to his chest and his amazing abdominals. Looking up at him, I realized that he wasn't paying attention to the television show either. He was watching me.

"Like what you see?" he asked in a husky voice.

"Yes, very much," I said, feeling brazen. I quickly straddled him, remembering to be careful of his leg. Fisting my hands in his hair, I brought my mouth to his, and kissed him fervently. He eagerly returned my kiss, bringing his hands up my shirt. I reveled in his touch. He slipped his hand under my bra and ran his thumb over my nipple. Gasping, I kissed him harder…

"Hey, guys!" Paul said loudly, yanking open the screen door and walking into the house with Rachel following in his wake. I quickly jumped off Jake's lap, feeling my face burn a brilliant shade of crimson. He laughed at me, and pulled me closer to his side.

"Hey, Jake, hey Bella," Rachel said with a smile, sitting down on the loveseat. Paul went into the kitchen and grabbed a bag of chips before sitting down next to her. "What are you guys up to?"

"We had just been watching some TV," I said.

"That's funny, Bella, I wouldn't have you pegged as a Pinks fan," Paul said with a cocky look on his face. I fought the urge to stick my tongue out at him.

"So, Bella, I was thinking about going for a walk down to the beach. Want to come?" What? I was shocked. We hadn't really spoken at all since I used to come in the summers with Charlie. We greeted each other when we saw each other, but that was really it.

"Sure," I said, getting up.

"Wonder what that's all about," I heard Jake say, as the screen door closed behind us.

"Who cares? What's on TV?" I giggled. Rachel looked back at me with a smile on her face too.

"Good to know that my man really cares," I laughed again, and she joined in. We chatted on the short walk to the beach, but once we were there, the real questions started.

"So, Bella, you and Jake, huh?" She sat down on a piece of driftwood not far from where Jake first told me about Quileute legends, wolves versus the cold ones.

"I know. It's weird and unexpected, but it just…it feels right." I smiled out at the waves.

"And the vampire?" She asked me harshly. I glanced at her. She had also been looking out at the waves but she turned to me at met my eyes.

"Completely out of the picture," I reassured her. She searched my face and then nodded.

"So, Rachel, you and Paul?" She got a goofy smile on her face. I wondered if I looked the same when she had asked me about Jacob.

"Yeah. I finished school early, and came home. I came for a walk here, on the beach, a couple of days after I got home. Paul was here too, walking along the shoreline. I wasn't surprised to see him. His house is about a half mile away. I had known Paul for a long time. I mean, he's about a year older than Jacob, a year younger than me. But it was like I was seeing him for the first time. He was different. I realized that my life couldn't go on without him." She stared out at the water. I half smiled, knowing that I felt the same about Jacob.

"So, what are you going to do about school in the fall?" She asked.

"Ugh. I don't know. I was supposed to go to the University of Alaska. But I can't be that far away from Jake and he needs to finish high school first.

"He was talking about getting his GED. I know Embry and Quil are probably going to do it too. Paul and Jared only have one more year left of school. Poor Seth still has three more years left," she said. I considered this.

"I didn't know that he was considering that. I don't know though. The time to apply to a closer four year school has passed, so I think I'm going to go to Peninsula College for a year and then apply to Washington State or the University of Washington in the fall as a transfer student. I don't know. Port Angeles is still an hour away, each way. That's a long commute in the truck."

"Well, I haven't told my dad or Jake about it, but I've been interviewing for some jobs, and I've got a good lead in Port Angeles. Maybe if it works out, the two of us can room together or something," she suggested. Another weird unsuspected comment. I stared at her in shock.

"Come on Bella. I'm trying really hard here. Us wolf girls have to stick together," she said, clearly exasperated.

"Sure," I stammered. "That'd be awesome."

"Cool. Just keep it quiet for a little longer. I don't want to say anything until I am offered the job," she warned me. I nodded and looked back out at the waves. "So, Jacob's seventeenth birthday is on Friday. July third. I was wondering if you wanted to plan something, if you needed any help," Rachel suggested, changing the subject.

"Yeah, that would be a lot of fun. I was thinking a bonfire or something. Maybe we can go talk to Emily about it."

"She'd love to help. That's just what she does," Rachel said. I nodded, then stood up, suddenly anxious to see Jacob again. Rachel stood up too

"We should probably get headed back to the house. Who knows if Jake and Paul have torn up the house fighting." I snorted. Leave it to Rachel to fall for Jake's least favorite person in the pack.

"They've probably torn the house up in search of food. Come on, let's go feed our men folk," I suggested.

We giggled over some of their antics on the way back to the house, and were laughing over a funny story she was telling me about fourteen year old Jacob and fifteen year old Paul fighting over one of the girls on the reservation as we walked into the house. Jake and Paul looked up at us, and we started laughing again. They smiled in confusion and we made a bunch of turkey and cheese sandwiches then brought them out with a couple bags of chips and bottle of sodas.

Rachel and Paul suggested a movie, but Jake said that he was hurting and needed to lie down for a little while and take a pain pill. Feeling concerned for my boyfriend, I helped him with his crutches and followed him to his bedroom. I went and got the pills that Carlisle had left and handed him one with a bottle of water.

"Are you okay? Do you need anything?"

"Well," he said, popping the pill in his mouth and swallowing it with a swig from the bottle, "I mostly wanted to get you to myself. Come here," he said, pulling me onto the bed with him. I smiled.

"That was sneaky, Jacob Black," I accused.

"You love it," he said, kissing my forehead.

"I do."

"Nap time?" he suggested.

"Definitely." I agreed. He wrapped his arms around me, and promptly fell asleep. Must be one of his weird wolf things. I laid there for a little while, watching him in his sleep, hoping that I was in his dreams. I knew that I was. Briefly, I wondered if this was how Edward felt when he watched me sleep through the night. My eyelids got droopy and I fell asleep as well.

I awoke to fingers running across my arms. As I opened my eyes, I found Jake watching me.

"Like what you see?" I asked, taking a quote from his book.

"Yes, definitely," he answered, pulling himself over me.

"Jake, should you be doing that?"

"Yes. I'm fine now. Everything is good." With that, he brushed the hair out of my face and kissed my waiting lips. I could spend all my time kissing Jacob. It was perfect. He raised my shirt over my head, leaving me in my bra. Using one hand, he undid the front clasp, freeing my breasts from the white cotton bra that had been keeping them. He looked appreciatively at me, then brought his hands over them, running his fingers over the stiff peaks of my nipples. I watched him as he discovered a part of me that he hadn't seen.

A moan escaped from my lips when he brought his mouth to my right breast and swirled his tongue over my nipple, then moved to my left breast. Cupping my breasts, he brought them together so he could lick the valley between them. He moved his kisses and tongue down my stomach, I groaned as he planted small kisses across the top of my low slung jeans. He grinned up at me and came back up, kissing the hollow at the base of my neck, making me whimper with pleasure. He rolled us on our sides, pressing his hot body against mine, slick with sweat. My bra dropped off the bed to places unknown.

He ran his hands over my skin, alternating kisses between my mouth, my face, my neck, my breasts. I could feel his arousal pressed up against me. I felt a wave of pleasure knowing that he was aroused because of me. I matched his kisses, enjoying the feel of his skin under my lips.

"Mmm, Jacob," I breathed. He started to unbutton my jeans, when all of a sudden, he sat up.

"What…"

"Bella, our dads are pulling in the driveway! Shit!"

"Shit!" I echoed, then rolled off the bed, trying to find my discarded clothes. "Jake, I can't find my bra! Help me find it!" He ducked under the bed and came out with it, handing it to me. I stuffed my arms into the straps and closed it, then threw my t-shirt over my head.

"Quick, lay down. We'll pretend we're sleeping…" I followed his directions.

"Bella? Jacob?" I heard Billy call out.

"Where are they?" Charlie asked, sounding like he might be afraid of the answer.

"I'll check in Jake's room," Billy said, and I heard the wheels from his chair squeak down the hallway, and heard the door open. Breathing deeply, I tried hard to pretend that I was asleep. Jake's arm was wrapped protectively around my waist. I was thankful I was facing away from the door.

"Charlie," Billy softly called. I heard my dad's footsteps following in Billy's wake. He must have peeked in Jake's room.

"They truly love each other, don't they?" Billy asked, warmth in his voice.

"They do. They always have, I think."

"They are going to make us proud. We'll have beautiful grandchildren."

"Hopefully not for a long time," Charlie said, snorting. Billy chuckled.

"Come on, let's watch the game. They won't be sleeping much longer." I heard the door close and turned over to face Jacob. His eyes looked lovingly into mine.

"You know, we will make beautiful children," he whispered, intertwining his fingers with mine.

"I know," I whispered back. "But Charlie is right. Not for awhile yet. You've got to finish high school before we can start thinking babies." He laughed at me and pressed a kiss to my lips.

"We also keep getting interrupted any time the action gets good, so there's no chance of anything happening as long as people keep coming around," he said with a laugh.

"Aw, Jake…" He shrugged.

"It's no big deal. It will happen when it happens. Come on, beautiful. Let's get up and get some dinner going on. I'm starving." I pulled my hair back into a ponytail to hide the musings from our make out session. He stood up and started digging through his dresser, coming out with a dark blue shirt that he pulled over his head.

"It should be a crime for you to wear clothes," I sighed.

"I could say the same for you," he said, snaking his hand up my shirt and cupping my breast. I kissed him, then followed him out into the hallway. He had a pronounced limp, but he wasn't using crutches.

"Hey guys, good morning," Billy joked.

"Hey. How was the fishing?" I asked.

"It was all right," Charlie said, not looking at me. Weird.

"What's for dinner?" Jake asked.

"Billy's super secret pasta?" Billy suggested.

"Fine by me," Jacob said, collapsing on the couch next to Charlie. I followed Billy into the kitchen to give him a hand.

Sitting at the kitchen table eating and laughing with Rachel, Paul, Billy, Charlie and Jacob, I realized how happy I was to be here in La Push with everyone I cared about, and how much I would have missed out on if I had chosen differently.

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	10. Chapter 10

**A/N: Thanks for all the wonderful reviews. I would reply back to them, if I was smart enough to figure out HOW to do that. HAHA. Just know that I appreciate each and every one of them.**

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Chapter 10-Jacob's POV

Looking at Bella, I realized how comfortable and happy she was laughing and joking with everyone. I was amazed at the difference between the Bella from nine months ago and the Bella now. Even the Bella now was different from the Bella from last week. She was more easygoing and not so stressed out. I supposed that hanging with a bunch of bloodsuckers would stress me out too.

After dinner, she helped Rachel with the dishes. I watched for her out of the corner of my eye while trying to look like I was paying attention to whatever it was that Billy and Charlie were watching. She and Rachel were getting along really well, I thought, as I heard Bella's laughter peal from the kitchen. The sound of it made me get mushy.

Love was turning me into a girl.

"Hey, Bells, we need to get a move on," Charlie said, standing up. "I have to be at the station early."

"Yeah, and I work the day shift at Newton's tomorrow," she said, looking apologetically at me. Shit. I had forgotten that she worked. I was going to have to be apart from her. I didn't like it. From the look on her face, she didn't much like the idea either.

"Let me go grab my fishing stuff. I'll meet you out at the cruiser," Charlie said, then turned to my Dad and sister to say good night. I walked Bella out to the car while Charlie went to the boat where he had left his stuff. I turned her to face me, brushing a strand of that brown hair out of her eyes and tucking it behind her ear.

"I'll miss you," she said, wrapping her arms around my middle.

"I know," I said, sounding cocky. She made a mad sound and poked my stomach. I leaned in to kiss her.

"Ahem," I heard behind us. Turning, I saw Charlie stepping up to the trunk.

"Call me once you're out of work tomorrow?"

"Of course," she replied, standing on her tiptoes to offer a final, chaste kiss on my lips. "I love you."

"Love you, Bells," I answered, opening the cruiser door for her.

"Good night, Jacob," Charlie said to me over the roof of the car.

"Night Charlie. Thanks for bringing her over." He nodded at me, got in the car, and started it up. I waved at Bella as they pulled out of the driveway.

"Man, it sucks to be you," Paul said behind me. I turned.

"Why?"

"Having to watch her leave. I get to stay with my girl." I figured he was thinking of their escapades, and I was thankful we were in our human forms so I wouldn't have to hear it.

"It will happen eventually. Charlie's just…protective."

"Right. And you've got a nasty case of blue balls." He was right. I did. But I flicked my middle finger up at him.

"Thanks for your concern over my nuts, Paul. You're a good friend." He laughed and headed back inside. I considered going inside but instead I sat on the rain-soaked front porch. The rain had stopped, and there was a small break in the clouds. I could see hundreds of stars. Gazing up, I thanked each one of those stars for Bella.

The next morning, I felt ninety-five percent better. Dr. Cullen came by in the morning and checked me over but he made me promise not to phase today. He said that I should be all healed by tomorrow and I could phase then. I was anxious to be back in my comfort zone, doing what needed to be done. The days were incredibly long and boring without being able to phase.

I lounged on the couch watching shitty daytime television, watching the clock slowly tick closer to five o'clock. At five fifteen, the phone rang. I dove for it. Billy, who had been sitting closest to the phone, raised his eyebrows but didn't say anything.

"Hello?" I answered.

"Hi, Jacob." My body relaxed as soon as I heard her speak my name.

"Bella. How was your day?"

"Long. How about yours?"

"About the same."

"So, I'm going to fix Charlie some dinner, and then I'll head up there. Have you eaten yet?"

"No," I replied. Well, I hadn't eaten in the past hour…

"I'll bring the leftovers for you and Billy. I should be there around six thirty." Another hour? Ugh. This was taking forever.

"No problem. I'll see you when you get here."

"Okay. I love you, Jacob."

"I love you too, Bells. Bye." I hung up the phone with a goofy grin on my face. Billy snorted. "Ugh. Don't say anything." He burst out laughing.

"Yep. You've got it bad, son." I stood up and headed for the bathroom so I could shower. It had been a couple of days, between the casts and not being able to stand without help. I turned the water on, stripped off my sweatpants, and stepped under the spray of water.

Standing there, I couldn't help but wonder what it would be like with Bella standing in the shower with me where I could wash her body. Not a great way to get rid of the blue balls. I turned off the hot water, stood under the freezing spray, and told myself to behave.

Drying my body off, I put on a clean pair of cut-offs and headed back out to the living room. I was happy that I wasn't limping any more. It really sucked to be incapacitated. But by tomorrow, I'd be back to normal. Well, normal for a werewolf.

The phone rang again. My dad looked at me.

"Are you going to dive over me to answer that, or should I get it?"

"Shut up, Dad," I said. He laughed as I picked up the phone.

"Jake? It's Sam. Is Bella coming over tonight?"

"Yeah, she should be here any minute," I said, looking at the clock.

"Can you guys come over to Emily's when she gets there?"

"Sure. Is everything okay?"

"I think so. We'll see you when you get here." He hung up the phone, and I shook my head.

"Everything okay?" Dad asked.

"I guess," I said. Sitting down in the recliner, I watched a couple of minutes of Malcolm in the Middle with Dad.

I heard Bella's truck coming up the road and hopped out of the recliner. The noise from the engine was deafening until she turned the key. I jumped over the porch railing to get to her. I opened the door, pulled her out and into my arms. She melted around me and searched for my mouth, which I willingly gave to her. I had missed her while she was gone, and it was obvious that she missed me too.

"Hey honey," I said, breaking my mouth away from hers.

"Hi," she returned, breathless. I reached around her to grab the two plates she had wrapped in tinfoil, and then headed to the house. Handing my father one of the plates, I dug into the lasagna she had made.

"Sam called," I said.

"He did?" she asked, settling next to me at the table.

"Yeah. He and Emily want us to come over."

"Everything okay?"

"I think so. Let me just finish this, and we'll head over."

"All right."

"So, how was your day?" I asked, wanting to know everything she did while she was away from me. She went on to tell me about some of the sales she did, and how she was still having a hard time with the Newton kid hitting on her. I might have to go and knock some sense into him.

"You will not go knock sense into him," she admonished. I furrowed my brow. Had I said that out loud? She smiled.

"You looked like you were going to pulverize your milk glass. Chill, Jacob. You know you're the one I love." She squeezed my hand. I drained the last of my milk, then she took my dishes to the sink and washed them.

"Ready to head over?" I asked. She nodded and we decided to walk the mile to Emily's house. Once there, I knocked on the door and walked in.

"Hello, Jacob, Bella," Emily said, standing up to welcome us. Sam stood up as well and came over to clasp me on the shoulder and waved to Bella.

"Come on in, guys," Sam said. We followed them into the living room, where they sat on the couch and we sat on the loveseat.

"Is everything all right?" Bella asked once we were all seated.

"That's the question I have for you two. Jake, when I was over there yesterday, I got the feeling that something happened." I glanced at Bella. A smile came over her face.

"Yeah, something did happen. I became the fifth brother to imprint," I said proudly. Emily gasped.

"Really? Congratulations, you two!" Emily said, standing up to hug both of us. Sam remained seated.

"Bella? Did you tell Edward?" Her face became indignant.

"If you're asking if Edward and I are through, Sam, then the answer is yes."

"How did he take it?"

"Why?" I was also wondering why my brother cared how the leech took the break-up. It didn't really matter to me, as long as it was done and Bella wasn't hurting.

"I'm just wondering how this will affect the vampire and wolf truce that we have, and if I need to re-establish the treaty." Bella's eyes widened.

"Edward acted fine. Upset, obviously. And his family is fine towards me, and also towards Jacob. You saw that Carlisle still treated Jacob with respect. You were there," she said a little defensively.

"Please understand that I'm not trying to discourage you and Jacob. I'm happy for the both of you. I just need to put the safety of my people first."

"I don't think that you have to worry about the Cullen family," she said.

"Good. Thank you." She nodded.

"So…" Emily said, trying to lighten the mood. "You guys imprinted. That's so strange. You've known each other all this time, seen each other so many times after Jacob's first phasing, but it took until now. I wonder why that is?" She looked towards Sam, who looked interested.

"We don't really understand why it is that we imprint. It could be to continue the species or it could just be to find the one who best understands us. The idea is that the first time you see your soul mate after you phase, you will be irrevocably drawn to them and they to you. However, I have a theory for the two of you. Bella has always been devoted to Edward. Bella, I know you aren't now," he said as Bella started to protest. "But my idea is that once she finally realized who he was and what was possible in a relationship with Jacob, her mind opened up and enabled her to become the right person for Jake."

"I don't care why it took so long or why it happened, all I care about is that it happened," I said, wrapping my arms around Bella. She smiled at me, but the smile seemed a little forced. Hmm.

"The pack needs to have the nightly meeting. Jacob, will you come?"

"I'm not allowed to phase yet."

"That's all right. We'll have everyone else phase back to their human forms so we can all talk."

"All right," I said, kissing Bella and then standing up to follow Sam. We walked to our common meeting place, and everyone walked out of the woods, pulling their clothes on. Everyone appeared to be glad to see me, save for Leah, who seemed embarrassed. Whatever. Sam called our meeting to order.

"First of all, I want to extend congratulations to Jacob, who became our fifth member to imprint."

"What?" the group exploded.

"When?"

"Guys, guys, calm down. Yeah, I imprinted two days ago. The night of the battle. It was amazing." I couldn't get the grin off my face.

"Who?" Leah asked, speaking up for the first time.

"Is Bella okay?" Seth asked.

"Well, I should hope that she's okay with it, seeing as it is her that I imprinted on," I said. I felt a bit smug, telling them, the ones who told me it'd never work between Bella and I.

"Wait, how'd that happen?" Embry asked. "You've seen Bella a shitload of times since you first phased."

"I have a theory that I have explained to Jacob, but we won't go into it now. We'll accept Bella into our family as our sister…"

"Whoa, I'm not loving anyone who is still loving on a bloodsucker, even if Jake was a complete ass and imprinted on her. Jake, don't you realize that she won't leave him?" I felt rage coursing through me and started shaking.

"She already has left him, Leah," I spat out.

"Right. So she says. But she'll go back. She always goes back."

"She won't!"

"Jacob, what do you have that would keep her? You are going to be spending the rest of your life here on the reservation. She's not like us. She won't be happy being here, not like Rachel, Kim, or…Emily," her voice shook a little when she spoke her cousin's name. My heart fell. What if she was right?

"Leah! Knock it off!" Seth said. I looked over at him, feeling relieved.

"Congrats, Jake," Quil offered. "It's a great feeling, isn't it?" I nodded at him, the stupid ass smile back on my face. However, I couldn't help but rethink Leah's words in my head, over and over. Sam and the rest of the pack were talking, but I couldn't focus on their words.

"…can start patrolling again tomorrow, right Jacob?" Sam said.

"What? Oh yeah. Doc Fang told me that after tonight I should be okay to phase back. He just wanted to make sure that everything was healed before I start turning."

"Good. Tomorrow night, Embry and Jake, you're covering the first shift, eleven to three. Quil, Jared, you're taking the three to seven." We all agreed, and then broke to head back to our homes. Sam and I walked back to Emily's place.

"Jacob," Sam said, interrupting my mind wanderings.

"Yeah?"

"Don't worry about Leah. She…she's just messed up. Over everything. Being a wolf, over me imprinting on Emily instead of her, of what happened that got you hurt. She just doesn't really understand how to react to everything. She doesn't mean anything by it."

"Sure, sure. I'm not worried about it," I lied. Sam looked skeptically at me. I wasn't a really good liar. We walked in silence up to the front door. I followed Sam inside and smiled when I saw Bella and Emily sitting at the table with two half-finished slices of chocolate cake. Emily stood up to cut both Sam and I large chunks of the cake, and we sat down with them. I kissed Bella's head as I walked by, and she smiled up at me.

"Miss me?" I asked, taking a big bite of the cake. She laughed.

"Desperately. I'll always miss you when you're gone," she promised.

**A/N: Have you checked out the Sort of Beautiful challenge that I'm doing with some of the most amazing authors out there? You know you wanna...**

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	11. Chapter 11

**A/N: I'm sorry I am such an epic fail when it comes to posting on here. I just...FORGET. Lord, I apologize...yeah. So, here is another chapter. Did you vote for me in the Wolfpacks? I'd really love you if you would. **

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Chapter 11-Bella's POV

I woke up in the morning, screaming. Feeling disoriented, I sat up and looked around. I had just had a terrible nightmare. Edward with crimson eyes and blood at the corners of his mouth. Me, lying on the floor, twitching with pain, screams echoing in my head. The screams must have woken me up.

Since getting with Jacob, the nightmares had ceased. No more abandonment issues, no more trust issues. I was sure of the relationship I had with Jake. So why had they started again?

Shaking my head, I looked at the calendar for an idea of what was going on. It was Thursday. Finally, a day off. Unfortunately, Jake was running patrols for most of the day. Glancing at the clock, I figured that 7:00 wasn't too early to get up, and I dragged myself to the bathroom for a shower. I headed downstairs and rustled up a strawberry pop-tart for breakfast. Charlie had left a note on the fridge that he had gone to the station early. Excellent. Even Charlie wasn't around to keep me company.

Reaching into the fridge for the apple juice, I noticed Charlie had forgotten his lunch. I'd have to bring it to him, or he'd be eating at the diner again, and with Harry's heart attack so recent in my mind, I didn't want him going overboard on the fats. Sitting down at the table with yesterday's paper, I dawdled as much as I could. Glancing up at the kitchen clock, I saw it was ten after eight. Wondering what I'd do on my day off, it hit me.

Esme had been wanting me to visit, I should probably go see her. Wondering if Alice would know that I was coming to visit, I headed up the stairs to get dressed. Hoping to make Alice happy, I put on one of the dresses that she had bought me. Alice's favorite pastime was dressing me up like a giant Barbie doll. I found some flip-flops and a cardigan to put over the spaghetti straps of the dress, knowing I'd be cold in the Cullen's house. It was always chilly there.

I guess when you're dead heat doesn't really matter.

As I walked down the stairs, the phone rang. I hurried to get it.

"You're coming over?" Alice squealed into the phone.

"Yes, Alice. I'm leaving now. I'll be there in a couple of minutes. I've just got to stop by the police station and drop off Charlie's lunch. He forgot it."

"Yay! I can't wait!" She said, hanging up. Shaking my head, I glanced up at the clock. Eight fifteen. Shouldn't be too early to call Jacob. He wouldn't mind, besides, I wanted him to know where I was going.

"'Lo?" his muffled voice croaked.

"Hey, handsome," I answered into the phone.

"Hey Bells," he said, quickly sounding much more pert and awake. "What's up?"

"Obviously not you. I thought you had patrols at eight thirty?"

"I do," he said.

"Shouldn't you be awake?" I asked.

"I am," he laughed.

"I wanted to call you and let you know that I'm headed to the Cullen house. Esme wants to see me." The other line was silent.

"Jake? Hello?"

"I'm here. Do you really think that's such a good idea?"

"Sure it is. The entire family is there. Nothing will happen to me. I'll be fine."

"All right, Bella. I trust you. I'll be done with patrols around three. Hey, I was thinking, maybe we could actually, like, go on a date or something tonight. Like a real date," he suggested, fumbling around the words. I laughed.

"I've committed to spending the rest of my life with you, and now you're asking for a date? I think we're a little backwards." His barking laugh came over the phone.

"You've got a point. What do you think?"

"I think it'd be fun. Come over once you're finished patrolling."

"Sure thing. I'll miss you," he said, sounding wistful.

"I'll miss you too, Jacob. I love you," I said, equally wistful.

"Love you, Bells. See you soon." I hung up the phone, then grabbed my sweater and headed out to the truck. Stopping at the station to drop off Charlie's lunch, I told him what I was up to for the day, then drove over to the beautiful house where my favorite vampires lived.

"Bella!" Alice said, dancing out to meet me. She practically pulled me out of the car. "Look at you! You look so pretty! I did a great job picking that dress out. The blue really goes with your skin. But the shoes, Bella. Did you really have to wear flip flops?"

"What's wrong with my flip flops? They're white, there's white in the dress, my sweater is white…" I glanced over my outfit.

"But flip flops?" she asked critically.

"With my tendency to trip over miniscule specks of dust, I figured that the four inch stilettos were out of my league," I replied dryly. She giggled.

"I've missed you, Bella." She took my hand and pulled me toward the house. I felt guilty for not coming sooner. It had been almost a week since I had last seen Alice and the rest of the Cullen clan. Stepping in the door, a delicious smell teased my senses.

"What is that smell?" I asked, surprised.

"Oh, Esme was so excited with you coming over that she started baking treats for you. I think she's already made a strawberry rhubarb pie, and there are cinnamon rolls in the oven baking now," Rosalie said, standing up from the couch and coming over to where we were standing. She hugged me to her side then released me.

"Whew, I was afraid you might stink, but you're good. Very little dog scent," Emmett said, jovially stepping up to us and putting his arm around his wife. He laughed.

"Thanks, Emmett," I said, joining in. "I'm happy for your nostrils."

"Bella!" Esme called, wiping her hands on a dishtowel and heading in to wrap her arms around me. I was relieved to find that she harbored no hard feelings toward me. "I'm so happy you came."

"I am too. It's good to see you," I said, pulling at my sweater to hide my nervousness. "Where's Carlisle?"

"He's working, of course. Come on in. I've made strawberry rhubarb pie, since I remembered it was your favorite."

"Thanks, Esme. That was nice of you." Alice followed us and sat down next to me at the table while Esme got me a glass of lemonade. I was touched at the trouble she had gone through to make me feel comfortable in their home still.

"Alice, where's Jasper and…Edward?" I said, hesitant to say his voice.

"They went for a hunt last night. They should be getting back in…" she searched in her mind. "About an hour. Maybe a little less."

"Oh," I said, feeling awkward.

"I'm sorry about the other night, when he was in your bedroom. I told him that he should just wait until the morning and go to your house like a normal person, but you know Edward. He must prefer the theatrics." I half-smiled, knowing exactly what she was talking about.

"Yeah, he does."

"Don't worry though. He'll be on his best behavior today," she said, reassuring me. Esme set a warm cinnamon roll in front of me.

"Thanks, Esme," I said, smiling up at her.

"You're welcome, Bella," she said, sitting down on the other side of me. "Tell us what you've been doing this past week." I told them about work and spending time with Jacob on the reservation now that he was healed. I blushed when I talked about Jacob.

"You don't have to feel bad talking about him to us, Bella. Carlisle told me that he told you that we don't harbor any ill will. Myself, I understand completely. I had a baby, and while I lost him, my pregnancy was the best time of my life, I'd never felt so alive as I felt as he grew inside me. I can empathize with your choice to experience life. Not that I don't love my children," she said, smiling at Alice. "But I would have loved to watch my son grow, to experience his stages of life." Tears threatened to spill over my eyelids and I got up to hug her.

"We love you, Bella. That isn't going to stop. Ever," Esme said, almost fiercely. She squeezed me back, then released me.

"What are your plans for the weekend?" Alice asked, deftly changing the subject.

"Oh, well, Jake and I are going to the movies tonight. It's our first date," I laughed. Alice giggled in response. "Tomorrow is Jake's seventeenth birthday, so Emily is helping me throw him a party. They're building a big bonfire, the pack and the extended family will be there. I'm spending the night tonight and tomorrow at Emily's, so I can help cook and get things ready. Then I have to work the night shift both Saturday and Sunday at the store."

"That sounds nice," Esme commented.

"I'm sure it will be fun. I've never thrown a party before."

"I have lots of experience! I can help!" Alice said.

"Oh, Alice, um…thanks? But the party is in La Push," I said, feeling awkward.

"It is? Can't I still come?"

"Um…what about the treaty? Is it still in effect, or is it null and void?"

"Hm. I don't know. I'll ask Carlisle. But I can still help from here if I can't come."

"You're a good friend," I said, smiling at her.

"I know," she said, laughing back at me. We talked some more, then Rosalie came in and made us all laugh over Emmett's antics. Too soon, the front door opened.

"Hi, guys!" Alice trilled, rushing over to encircle her arms around her husband. I stood up from where I was seated, and looked over at them. Rosalie stepped up next to me, glaring at Edward.

"Hi, Edward," I stammered, feeling nervous. His eyes looked haunted, his normally flawless appearance looking haggard.

"Bella," he said, then turned and went up the stairs, and I heard a door slam shut. I felt my face crumple and a wave of despair rushed through me before Jasper could send calm my way.

"Has he been like this the whole time?" I asked the room. No one answered. "Well? Has he?"

"Bella, you couldn't have expected him just to bounce back from this," Jasper explained.

"What does he do all day?" I asked.

"He sits in his room, listening to music and moping. He hasn't touched his piano," Esme confessed, nodding to the piano, which indeed showed signs of neglect.

"Has anyone tried talking to him?"

"He won't listen to us. We've tried," Alice replied softly.

"I'm going to try," I said, steeling my spine and walking up the stairs.

"Bella, I don't think…" Alice stepped forward, as if to stop me.

"Alice, let her go," Jasper said, taking her arm and holding her back. Knocking on his door, there was no response. Sighing, I turned the knob and walked in. He was stretched across the mammoth bed that he had bought for the two of us. He didn't look up at me as I walked in and closed the door. Fleetingly, I wondered why I closed the door when the entire household would be able to hear what we said any way.

The temperature in here was warmer; he had bought a space heater for me so that I would be more comfortable when I spend the night there. I shed my cardigan and placed it on the couch.

"Edward…" I started. He moved his arm from over his eyes and looked over at me.

"You look beautiful today, Bella. But then again, you always look beautiful." Unconsciously I swept my hands over the skirt of my dress.

"Thank you. Look, I think we need to talk. Edward, you can't live like this. You can't be miserable. It breaks my heart…" he snorted and sat up so quickly I didn't even see it happen.

"Your heart is broken? No, Bella. Your heart beats on. Your heart beats for someone else, while my still heart lies here in my dead body. My life is an empty shell without you. There is no reason for me to be happy; there is no reason for me to go on." The thought of a world without Edward threatened to break me. The pain I had felt after he left was nothing compared to this. It was unbearable. I couldn't breathe from the pain. The door slammed open and a pissed off pixie stood on the threshold.

"Edward! Enough. Leave her alone. If you truly love her, be happy for her. You need to move on. It isn't healthy for either one of you to be near each other. Bella, get your stuff. Rose and I are taking you out. Edward…go somewhere. Anywhere. Just get over yourself, please," she said, stepping inside long enough to grab my sweater and my hand. I hardly had time for a glance back at Edward's surprised face. I'm sure my face matched it.

"I'm sorry, Bella, but this is just getting ridiculous. The two of you need to stay away from each other. I think that for right now, that will be best," she said, tugging me down the stairs. The rest of the family was standing at the base, shock evident in their eyes.

"But Esme…: I said, turning toward the closest thing I knew to a mother besides my own.

"I'm sure he'll be better to be around soon," Esme reassured me. "Let's try again after the weekend." I nodded, then turned to Alice.

"Where are we going?" I asked her. She grabbed her purse as Rosalie joined us with her keys in her hand.

"We're going out," Alice declared.

"I thought you were just telling Edward that," she said, clearly confused.

"Nope. Let's go. Bella, say goodbye," she commanded. I did so, feeling taken aback. Rosalie grabbed her keys and purse, then we headed out to the garage where Rosalie's BMW was parked.

"Alice, where are we going?" I asked again.

"Shopping," she said with a smile. Shopping. Where else?

**A/N: I would be lost without my twin Megan. She is amazing. My life would not be complete with the Team SOB hoors. I'm quite lucky to have them. I just thought they should know. **

**Please review!! I'd really really really appreciate any feedback!!  
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	12. Chapter 12

**Okay, contrary to popular belief, I do NOT hate Edward. I just like Jacob much better and think that he deserved better than some nasty half-vamp spawn. Do I really think that Bella deserved him? Probably not, but Jacob Black is a fictional character and therefore can not fall madly in love with me. LOL. **

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Chapter 12-Edward

I had classified my life as Purgatory before, but now I knew what it truly was like to live in Hell. My love, my Bella, had left me. Nine months ago I had begged her to love someone else, anyone else besides me. Bella was stubborn; she assured me that she only loved me.

I had done what I thought was best, and left her.

My own idiocy ruined my life.

She had taken me back, but she never fully let me back in. I realized that she had made friends with Jacob Black and, while I hated it, I went along with it because I wanted her to be happy. It seemed like whenever I would tell her not to do something, she'd become hell-bent on doing that one thing.

Did she not understand that she needed me? She needed me to keep her safe. A teenage boy couldn't keep her safe. He was more of a danger to her than I was. I was controlled, he was volatile. But she could look at me with her chocolate brown eyes and I would do anything she would ask of me.

After my battle with Victoria on the mountain, I had looked over at Bella hoping to reassure her with my smile. She was staring at me like she had never seen me before. I noticed how she trembled when I came near her and her voice trembled when she spoke to me. She quickly tried to avoid being alone with me.

I thought she'd get over it, I thought it was just all the commotion and stress of the day crashing on her at once. She just needed a break. I let her go with Alice, knowing Alice would do her best to keep her safe as well.

Then Alice returned without Bella, and I felt uneasy for the first time. I gave her some more time, but went over to the Swan household after dinner. I could hear Bella doing dishes in the kitchen. I stopped on the front porch, smiling at the sound of her voice, until I heard her words.

"What do you think about me and Jacob?"

What?

Hadn't she just told me that she wanted to marry me? That she wanted to love me for eternity? I couldn't move from the shock, until the door opened and she fell out, tripping over the threshold. I instinctively caught her as I had been doing for the past year and a half. As I stood her up, I could only form one word.

"Bella?" My voice cracked from the weight of the emotions behind that one word. She and her father were forming words that my brain couldn't process. Her face was horrified and… guilty.

"Bells is everything all... oh. Hey Edward," Charlie said, as he rounded the corner to the front door. Like always, I couldn't hear his exact thoughts, but got the jist of them—protectiveness and love directed at Bella, and at me it was dislike and... pity?

"Edward, we need to talk. Is it all right with you if we go to your house?" Bella asked me nervously.

"Very well," I said, turning and stalking off to the Volvo, and speeding to my house. I didn't consider speed limits or the safety of others. Before I knew it I was pulling up to our house. Alice and Jasper were standing on the edge of the woods, Alice with a cell phone at her ear. She quickly hung it up and they ran to me.

"Edward…" she started. I did not want to hear it.

"Alice, can you see her?" I asked, afraid of the answer but needing to hear it. She glanced at Jasper, then back to me.

"No, Edward, I can't," she said helplessly. I nodded, then went up the stairs to my room. I needed to compose myself before Bella got here. If I was calm I could speak rationally and help make her see reason. I heard Alice come up the stairs and knock on the door. I didn't want to talk to her. The roar of Bella's truck became louder, signaling that she was here. Ignoring my clairvoyant sister, I hit play on the remote for my stereo system and strains from Beethoven came over the speakers, calming me a bit. She sighed audibly and went back downstairs to talk with Bella. I tried not to listen, but I couldn't help it.

"Gah, Bella, you smell like dog," Alice said. Emmett let out a snort and Jasper glanced at our brother with a half-smile. The girls didn't pay them any attention.

She really does smell, Emmett thought.

"I'm sorry," she said, looking down at the floor.

"I guess I'd better get used to it," Alice said. Everyone looked at her in surprise. Their thoughts matched their expressions. "Well, if you're going to be with him, you're going to smell like him."

"You mean you're still going to want to be around me?" she asked, sounding amazed. Rosalie laughed.

Silly Bella, she thought. I'm glad that she's making the right decision. I'll get to be Aunt Rosalie…

What? Aunt Rosalie? The thought of Bella's belly growing big with Jacob Black's baby would have made me vomit if I had had anything in my stomach. I hadn't really given much thought to children. Before I was changed I was preoccupied with joining the Army and fighting for our country, whereas Rosalie had been wrapped up in the idea of marriage and having a baby. I never realized that my inability to father children with Bella would be my downfall.

"Of course. You're still our sister," she said. This was news to me. "You should probably get up there and talk to him." A whoosh of breath expelled from Bella's lungs, filling the living room with her scent.

"You're probably right." I heard her footsteps on the stairs and her hesitation before knocking on the door.

"Come in, Bella," I said. I heard the door open and close, and she walked in. Sitting up, I rested my elbows on my knees and hung my head in my hands. She walked over to the sofa and knelt in front of me. I was overcome with the tantalizing bouquet of her scent.

"Edward, I…" she started. Suddenly, I realized I didn't want to hear it. I wanted to forgive her and move on.

"You don't have to explain, love."

"Of course I do. Look, Edward, I watched you kill someone today."

"Someone who was trying to kill you," I interjected, looking up at her.

"I know. But Victoria was stronger than I am. Immortal. And I'm not. I think I finally realized how fragile I am, how breakable I am, compared to you."

"It's about time," I said with a snort. She smiled and took my hand. I felt her pulse in her fingers as they stroked the cool skin covering my body. I looked into her beautiful eyes, hoping that she'd remember that she loved me. She shook her head as if she were clearing it out. She wrestled her hand from my clutch and stood up, beginning to pace.

"I love you, Edward. But you scare me. With just a squeeze, you could kill me. If you nipped at my neck too hard, you would kill me." Again, it's about time she realized this. I had been trying to get her to understand this for over a year now, but now it wouldn't be like this much longer.

"Bella, love, it won't be like that once you are changed…" She whipped around to meet my eyes.

"Edward, don't you get it? I don't want to be changed. Not anymore. I want to live my life. I want to go to college, get married, and have babies. My own babies." My mouth dropped open. So Rosalie was right. Bella wanted something I couldn't give her.

"Jacob?" I asked, afraid of her answer. I stood up and faced the window, not seeing what was outside, but unable to meet the eyes of the woman in front of me. She was quiet, and I longed to know what she was thinking.

"Yes, Edward. I want to be with Jacob," she said quietly. I turned to stare at her.

"Are you sure?"

"What do you mean am I sure?" she asked, suddenly angry. I didn't know why what I said had made her so upset. I hurried to explain my question.

"He's so young, Bella. His future is in La Push. He won't ever leave. He can't. He is tied to that place. And you, I thought you hated it here."

"I did. But if the one that I love is here, then this is where I want to be too."

"He's going to mess it up," I said with confidence.

"And I'll forgive him."

"Has he imprinted?" I pressed.

"Uh…"

"What will you do when he does?" She looked around helplessly and I couldn't help the smirk of self-assurance that came over my face.

"Edward, where is this conversation getting us?" she asked, exasperated.

"Nowhere," I confessed.

"I'm sorry. I'm sorry I couldn't become the woman that you wanted me to become. I know you loved the idea of that woman. But Edward, Jacob loves me not for who I can be, but for who I am. He loves me, clumsiness and all. He doesn't try to change me, or want me to do things that I don't want to do."

"I do those things with your best interests in mind!" I spat, tugging on my hair. I felt so frustrated I could probably tear it out.

"The prom, Edward? Where I can't dance? A graduation party, when I don't like being the center of attention? Asking me to marry you, when you know my feelings on the subject? How were those in my best interest?"

"These are all things you'd want to experience…" I stammered.

"Yes, as a human. I get it. But I also want to experience things like kissing someone who can kiss me back, someone that will make love to me without freaking out about it. I want to experience having a baby. I want to experience grandchildren. But you and I won't be able to do that." My heart was breaking.

"No, no we won't be able to do that. I'm sorry, Bella. I can't be the man to do those things for you. I hope that Jacob truly can grow into the man you want to have. And if he doesn't, all you'll have to do is call, and I'll be here. I'll be waiting, forever, for him to mess up. For you to realize that it's me, it has always been me that you want to be with."

I stepped up to where she stood frozen. I lifted my hand and stroked the side of her face, just as I had the first time I had ever touched her skin. There was fear in her eyes now, so unlike the desire I had seen there a year and a half ago. I let my hand fall as she stepped back.

"Edward, I have to go. Charlie is expecting me back in twenty minutes, and I don't want him worrying about me."

"By all means," I said, walking around her to open the door for her. She stopped on the other side of the threshold and looked back at me and I was struck by her beauty once again.

"Goodbye, Edward," she said, raising her hand. I did the same.

"Until we meet again, Isabella," and I closed the door. I tried to calm myself down. I was torn between both anger and devastation over the situation. I wanted to tear Jacob limb from limb for causing me this pain, but I wanted Bella to be happy, no matter who she was with. I walked back to the window, and watched as she pulled away from the house, then I opened the window and jumped out. I needed to get out of here. Sure that she was gone, I hopped in the Volvo and started towards Seattle, then back.

About halfway home I realized that Bella's backpack lay forgotten in the backseat. Alice called as soon as she saw what I was going to do. She tried to convince me to wait until morning to take the bag back like a normal person, but I told her this was just the way Bella and I did things, not like normal people. Smiling to myself, I drove home and headed to Bella's with the bag on my back. I climbed in her window and waited. I heard her in the shower and smiled to myself. It felt like it had before today. Today was the worst day of my existence. Surely, my presence here would soften her.

She came rushing into the room wrapped only in a towel, something she had never done knowing I was in here. Closing the door behind her, she padded over to the window, looking out into the night. She sighed, brought her hands up and closed the window. I gasped, and she whirled around to look at me with a gasp of her own.

I hurried to reassure her why I was there, but my mind was spinning. She had not closed her window since we had been together. Did this really mean it was over? I tried my hardest to talk to her, to sound like a concerned friend—but really just trying to have an excuse to stay. I told her that she would always be mine, and as I watched her soften towards me, I leaned in to kiss her warm lips.

"Edward, stop."

"Bella?" I asked, confused. Bella had never once told me to stop before.

"Edward, I'm with Jacob now. I love him. He loves me, and trusts me. It isn't right for you to be here anymore. Especially when I'm only wrapped in a towel and need to get dressed," she said, standing up and looking pointedly at me. I sighed and stood up as well.

"You're entirely right. I apologize. I was wrong for coming, and I can see it is time for me to leave. Be safe, Bella. Be happy." Feeling choked up, I kissed her forehead. She threw her arms around me and hung on, but only for a brief second. She stepped back and instantly I missed the feel of her warmth. I nodded at her, and then stepped out of the window, taking off at a full run.

The next several days went by so slowly I thought that time had stood still. I brooded in my room, playing the saddest collections of music I owned. I lay around all day, not wanting anything else other than my Bella.

Finally, Jasper had had enough of my depression and begged me to go for a hunt with him. I agreed mostly because of my hunger. It was a short trip; we took down some deer. Just as we were getting ready for home, Jasper's phone rang.

"Hey Alice," he said cheerfully.

"Hi! I just wanted to let you guys know that Bella is here," she said. Jasper's eyes darted to mine. "She won't be staying for long; she may even be gone before you get back."

"We're on our way home now," Jasper said. "We should be there in a half hour or so."

"Okay. See you soon," she said, and then hung up.

"Edward…" Jasper warned.

"Don't worry about it. I'll be fine. Let's go," I said, anxious to see Bella. We started running back towards home. Once there, Jasper led the way into the house.

"Hi, guys!" Alice sang, rushing over to circle her arms around her husband. Bella stood up, beautiful in a blue and white dress. I couldn't take my eyes off of her. I noticed Rosalie glaring at me with daggers in her eyes.

"Hi, Edward," she said nervously.

"Bella," I croaked, my voice sounding scratchy and unused. I turned and went up the stairs, and slammed the door. I threw myself on the bed that I would never use.

A couple of minutes passed, then I heard the knock on my door. My hopes rose—she wanted to talk to me. I didn't answer, but I saw the knob turn and she walked in. She took off her sweater in response to the warmth from the space heater I always kept running. I wondered belatedly why I had kept it on, but I was thankful I had. Her pale skin was beautiful.

"Edward…" She started. I moved my arm from over my eyes so I could admire her.

"You look beautiful today, Bella. But then again, you always look beautiful." She swept her hands across her dress, as if to smooth any wrinkles.

"Thank you. Look, I think we need to talk. Edward, you can't live like this. You can't be miserable. It breaks my heart…" I snorted at this.

"Your heart is broken? No, Bella. Your heart beats on. Your heart beats for someone else, while my still heart lies here in my dead body. My life is an empty shell without you. There is no reason for me to be happy; there is no reason for me to go on." Her mouth worked, but no sound came out. I felt the anger rising in me. How could she do this to me? I loved her more than words could express, and she was leaving me for a dog? I opened my mouth to go on, but suddenly the door burst open. Alice came in, fire in her honey colored eyes.

"Edward! Enough. Leave her alone. If you truly love her, be happy for her. You need to move on. It isn't healthy for either one of you to be near each other. Bella, Rose and I are taking you out. Edward… go somewhere. Anywhere. Just get over yourself, please," she said, taking Bella and her sweater, then stepping out. I stared at them in shock and then Bella glanced back at me.

She looked back. She cared enough to look back.

**A/N: If I didn't have my beta Megan, my twifey Crystal (crystalnicoleyo) or my SOB hoors, I would be nothing. Just saying. **


	13. Chapter 13

**A/N: Sorry for my loooooong sabbatical. To be fair, I am working on several projects right now, as well as working AND going to nursing school. With two kids and a needy husband. And needy SOB hoors. **

**Thanks to everyone who participated in the Sort of Beautiful Challenge! We were happy to announce our winners on the NEW Team SOB blog: http://teamsob(dot)blogspot(dot)com and through Twitter (http://twitter(dot)com/TEAMSOB). So many wonderful entries. Now the Team is looking forward to bigger things in the future. Come on by the blog, show us some love. That way we can become convinced that you all need us to show you our "sort of beautiful" Twilight men :)**

**On another note, OUAM is nominated for the "Best Paris Award: Jacob with Anyone" at the Sparkle Awards. Please check it out and vote for OUAM: http://thesparkleawards(dot)webs(dot)com/vote(dot)htm and I was pleased to place in the Wolfpack Awards. I think that my biggest excitement came from second place in most original plot. Thanks to all who voted for me. **

**Okay, I'm done talking now. Enjoy.**

Chapter 13-Bella

The shopping trip wasn't nearly as bad as I thought it would be. I got Jake's birthday gift at the auto parts store. As a fellow auto enthusiast, Rosalie assured me that he would definitely love the seat covers I picked out for him. Those seats were definitely in need of some help. On the way to the mall, Alice tried talking me into buying a new outfit for Jacob's birthday party.

"Bella, you know you want to wear something pretty!" Alice trilled.

"Alice, it is a bonfire," I pointed out.

"True, but you can still look good!" Great. I slumped in the backseat. "Honestly, Bella! You're the strangest female I have ever met. How can you not like shopping?" I didn't answer her. I hoped that if I didn't get on her bad side, she wouldn't make me feel too much like Barbie Doll Bella.

"Come on, Bella! You do want to make it back to town in time for your date, right?" Alice said, taking my hand and pulling on my arm. I sighed and followed in the wake of her excitement. Once inside, she was like a child in a candy store. She yanked me into store after store, placing me into a dressing room and handing me garments to try on. I protested that I couldn't afford new clothes, and Alice looked at me like she'd eat my head.

"But I can." After that, I just tried not to look at the price tags. Around two-thirty my stomach started growling, so Rosalie and I went in search of the food court while Alice continued on her trek for whatever it was that she was looking for. I sat with my plate of Chinese food and Rosalie gracefully sat next to me, with her diet coke prop in front of her. I took several bites of my lo mein noodles before looking up at Rosalie.

"Rose, I was wondering something," I started.

"What's that, Bella?" she asked.

"When I called you the other night on my way to your house to break up with Edward, I said thanks, and you said thank you to me in return. I've been wondering why you thanked me," I spit out, fumbling over the words. She was silent for a minute. I started to say something, but she held her finger up while she thought over her answer.

"I know we talked over this recently, so you should have some idea why I thanked you. I know that we cleared the air, but I still thought that you were making the wrong decision. I was so relieved when you called to tell me that you had changed your mind. I felt that you had finally listened to me. I hope that you'll continue to let me be in your life, to experience life through you," she said, staring at me with her golden eyes. I nodded and threw my arms around her. She hugged me back. I turned when I heard the sound of bags hitting the table.

"Alice!" I said, ogling the mountain of bags. "This isn't all for me, is it?"

"Of course not. These three bags are yours, these two are Rosalie's, and this one is mine."

"You didn't have to…" I started.

"Oh I know that. But I wanted to." I was filled with love for the both of them. I tried to peek into the bags that Alice had designated as mine. "No peeking, Bella! You'll see it all once you get home. Hurry up and finish eating, you don't want to be late for your date," she said. I had almost forgotten about it, and started shoveling teriyaki chicken down my throat. One I was finished, I stood up and announced that I was ready to go.

As we arrived back in town, I wondered how Rosalie could drive so fast without getting caught. I felt a little sick once we pulled into my driveway. I had never had motion sickness before I started running with vampires. This thought made me smile wryly. Rosalie and I followed Alice into the house.

"Bells? Is that you?" he called from the living room.

"Yeah, Dad, it's me," I called back, starting towards the stairs.

"Bella, Jake called. He wanted me to tell you that he'd be here around five to pick you up," he said, stepping into the foyer. I glanced at the clock. Four-thirty.

"Thanks, Dad," I said, thundering up the stairs with Alice and Rosalie in my wake.

"Bella, go get in the shower. Might as well try to get as much of the smell off as you can," Alice suggested. "Rose and I will pack your clothes for you. And I'll pick out your outfit for tonight!" She squealed in delight and went into my bedroom. I sighed and hopped in the shower as she had suggested. I dried off and hurried to my room where I found the girls had me all packed and had a new pair of jeans, a pretty burgundy top, and ballet flats laid out for me. Apparently, Alice knew better than to try to put heels on me. I quickly dressed, then Rosalie did my hair while Alice dabbed my face with makeup. I looked up when I heard the doorbell ring.

"Hey Jake," my father's voice rang out.

"Hi, Charlie," Jacob said.

"Bella! Jacob is here!" Rosalie picked up my bag and started down the steps, Alice trailing behind her. I looked around my room for anything they might have forgotten, but it looked like they got everything. I started down the steps.

Jake was standing there with Charlie, Alice, and Rose. He had taken my bag from Rosalie. He looked up when I stepped down on the stairs, and his mouth dropped open. _What had Alice done to me?_ I worried. Then his face turned into a huge smile, and my worries melted away.

"Wow, Bells, you look amazing," he said, taking my hand as I came down the last stair.

"She does. What did you do to her?" Charlie asked. I turned and stuck my tongue out at him. He laughed with Alice and Rosalie, but Jacob continued to look at me. He stroked the side of my face.

"She's beautiful," he said, smiling down at me. Alice giggled and we looked over at them. Charlie looked like he was going to throw up. "So, Bells, ready for our date?"

"Definitely. Thanks for taking me shopping guys. I had… fun," I admitted.

"See, Bella, we'll have you acting like a real girl in no time," Rosalie teased as we walked out of the house. She and Alice walked to the BMW while Jacob walked me to the Rabbit. He opened the passenger door for me. I sat in the car and waited as he walked around the front and climbed inside. He stared at my face until I forced out a laugh.

"Are we going to go?"

"In a minute. Right now, I want to do this," he said, taking my face into his hands and pressing his warm lips to mine. His lips tasted like oranges, I thought fleetingly. He broke the kiss, pulling back into his seat.

"If I keep doing that we'll never make the movie," he said. I felt mutinous. 'Screw the movie!' I wanted to shout. However, it seemed really important to him for us to go, so I figured I'd humor him. Still, I was anxious to get my lips back on his at the first chance possible.

**************

We pulled up to Emily's house around ten, laughing over some of the jokes in the movie we had just seen. I was really happy that he had suggested it. Cozying up to Jacob in the small movie theater was perfect. He opened my door and helped me out, then grabbed my bag from the backseat. We made our way into the house, and I was surprised to see that most of the pack was there, sitting in the living room. Jake deposited my bag in my temporary room, and then met me back with his brothers in the living room. I hugged Emily and thanked her for having me over. We hung out and watched movies with everyone until about one. Jake followed me into my room, and I pulled my bag up on my bed so I could get my pajamas out.

"Will you stay?" I asked him, rifling through my bag. Where were they? I leaned over to look for them and started to pull clothes out.

"What are you looking for?" he asked, looking at me curiously.

"My pajamas! I… oh," I said, trailing off. _Alice_, I inwardly groaned.

"What?"

"Alice packed my bag. Alice and I apparently have different opinions on what constitutes as pajamas," I replied, holding up a sheer nightie with two fingers. Jake's Adam's apple bobbed as he swallowed hard. He grinned.

"I'll definitely stay if you're wearing that," he teased. I smacked at him.

"There's nothing else in here!" I moaned. Jake thought for a moment, and then started unbuttoning his shirt. I couldn't keep my eyes off him.

"Here, you can sleep in this," he said, taking it off and holding it out for me. My eyes were still focused on his fabulous abs. He laughed, "Bella, you're drooling." I whipped my head up and took his shirt.

"Be right back," I said, taking my toiletry case and his shirt into the bathroom. I washed my face and brushed my teeth, then changed into his white shirt. It smelled like him, I thought, reveling in it. I headed back into my room and found Jake lying face up on the bed.

"I could get used to this," I said. "Coming in to find you in my bed."

"Bet you could," he teased.

"Hey, it is after midnight. It's your birthday. Happy seventeenth birthday, Jacob," I said, kissing him lightly on the mouth. He gathered me into his arms, and I snuggled close to him, listening to the sound of his deep breathing. It wasn't long before sleep came for me.

**************

After the party on Saturday, Jake grinned and waved as Embry and Seth were the last to leave the beach. I watched him walk to where I was sitting on the blanket with my back resting against our tree stump, amazed again at my good fortune to be with the most perfect specimen known to man. His lips cocked into a half smile and he sat down, warming my side.

"Did you have a good party?" I asked.

"I did. Thanks for planning it."

"Seventeen. Gosh, you're still a baby," I said, half joking. I realized that he truly was, and this thought depressed me a little. He'd be stuck at this age for as long as there was threat of vampires around. I sighed.

"Hey, there is no sighing on this night. It's perfect. You, me, the beach, a rare, cloud-free night. This is a happy time," he urged with a smile. I smiled back, trying to forget about it. He wrapped his arms around me. "There, much better. Besides, could a baby do this?" I melted into his arms as he brought my face up to his for a smoldering kiss.

I moaned into his mouth and deepened the kiss, brushing my tongue against his. He brought his hands into my hair, and I rubbed my fingers against his arms; I could feel his rippling muscles just below the surface. I felt his hands work up my shirt and broke away from the kiss long enough for him to pull the shirt over my head. I worked to get the buttons of his shirt undone and peeled it off him. His fingers fumbled for the clasp on my bra, and he clumsily unhooked it, letting it fall forward into my lap. I tossed it to the side, letting it pile up with our shirts.

Jake let out a low growl and pulled me into his lap. I straddled his thighs and hungrily searched for his mouth. His hands roamed over my breasts, gently kneading them, bringing them to arousal. I ran my fingers across the muscles of his back, trying to memorize every fiber of him. He flipped me over to my back, balanced his weight on his forearms, and smiled tenderly at me. He leaned down and placed burning kisses on each breast, then continued in a path down to my belly button, hesitating only when he brought his hands to the button of my jeans.

I stiffened. It wasn't that I didn't want to do it; I was just scared. Jake noticed my hesitation and stopped.

"Bella?" he asked, asking permission in my name. I leaned forward and looked into his eyes.

"I'm just… scared, Jacob."

"Me too," he confessed with a gentle laugh. It was good to know he was nervous too. "Do you want to wait?" he asked, more as a courtesy than anything.

I took a deep breath and undid the button on his pants. "I most certainly do not."

He smiled my favorite bright smile, gently pushed me back, and inched off my jeans and panties. He yanked off his pants and pulled something out of his pocket before tossing them to the side.

"Were you expecting this?" I asked, surprised that he had it in his pocket, all ready for this.

"Uh…well, actually, Embry handed it to me when he was leaving," he said with a chuckle. I felt my face flame with embarrassment that his brothers knew this was happening.

"I guess it doesn't hurt to be prepared," I said with a weak laugh.

"We don't have to do this, Bella. I won't be mad," he said seriously.

"I want to," I said, pulling his face to mine. He positioned his body above me, his hips between my thighs. I felt the tip of him pushing inside me. _Ouch._ He must have seen the pain on my face, because he immediately pulled back.

"Are you doing okay?" He asked me with such tenderness that I almost forgot to respond as I basked in the sound.

"Yes, it hurts some so just be sure you go slow. Not that I know what to compare it to, but you feel pretty big, so take it easy while I get used to it." That seemed to be the best compliment in the world to him, as he grinned like a Cheshire cat. We both took a deep breath, and I smiled as his eyes met mine. He entered again and slowly rocked his hips against me. The stinging inside me changed into a pleasure that I had never known before.

I let out a moan and moved my hands from their grip on Jake's shoulders and stroked them across his back. I wrapped my legs around his waist, and moaned again. Jake groaned and picked up the pace. As he started moving faster into me, the strangest and most amazing feeling came over me. It was like an electric shock that started in my core was spreading out to my limbs, all while my insides started to spasm around him. He thrust himself into me a final time and twitched as he came.

We laid there for a moment, with him still inside me as we tried to steady our breathing and calm our speeding hearts. He rolled to the side, and I was rewarded with a perfect view of the stars. I was happier than I ever thought possible. That had been everything I had expected and more. I sighed, satisfied and stretched like a cat. Jake snuggled his body up to mine, contouring his body to fit around me.

"I love you," he said.

"I love you," I returned, nuzzling against him.

"I'm really glad you chose me."

"Me too, Jacob."

**A/N: Okay, please remember that this was Bella's (and Jacob's) first time. I can't really have Bella being all dirty and stuff. They are two awkward teenagers who have never done this before. I blushed the entire time I wrote this, fumbling all over myself and so on. I felt like I was sixteen (okay, fourteen---Beck was a ho) all over again. **

**Please review, let me know what you thought...and where you'd like to see OUAM go from here! I'll have another chapter by Friday, PROMISE.  
**


	14. Chapter 14

**A/N: Thanks everyone for the reviews! As I promised, here is an update!! It might be awhile before I can update again. I'm trying to get caught up on Twilighted so I can post everything at the same time. Might take a couple of weeks. I'm also in the midst of writing a fic for the La Push Challenge with my super awesome beta and twitard of my heart, Megan. Keep up with me via Twitter and the Tam SOB blog at http://teamsob(dot)blogspot(dot)com. Do it. Now. While you're joining the Team SOB cult following, vote for OUAM in the PAris Award category for best Jacob/anyone fic! http://thesparkleawards(dot)webs(dot) PLLLLLEEEEEEASE?!  
**

Chapter 14-Bella

We laid there for an undeterminable amount of time, sneaking kisses and staring at the stars. It was an amazingly perfect night. As the night got chilly, Jacob put his shirt on me and pulled his pants on. He suggested going to Emily's, but I didn't want to leave this perfect cocoon that we were in. He cuddled me closer to him so that I wouldn't get cold. I couldn't stop touching him, kissing his body. I didn't know that I could feel closer to Jacob than I had before, but being with him sexually tied me even closer to him. I slept soundly in his arms.

The dream came back. I was at the Cullens' house, lying on the floor convulsing, burning, screaming; Edward stood over me with crimson eyes and my blood around his lips.

"Bella. Bella!" I heard as I was being shaken awake. I opened my eyes to see Jacob's face being brightened by the rising sun.

"Jacob?" I asked stupidly. Who else would it be?

"You were screaming," he said, sounding worried.

"I'm okay. Just…a really bad dream," I said, shivering. He hugged me tightly.  
"Want to talk about it?"

"Not a chance," I replied. He laughed.

"Want to go to Emily's now?" he asked. I nodded. He helped me to my feet and handed me my clothes. I refused to give him back his shirt though, so he picked up the blanket and took my hand, leading me away from the beach so we could make the trek through the woods to Emily's. Once there, Jake opened the door for me and followed me into my room, where we crashed for the next couple of hours.

I woke up sweating. Jake's arm was heavily draped across my middle. I turned and found him looking at me.

"Good morning, beautiful," he said. I nuzzled against him.

"What time is it?" I asked. He lifted his head up to consult the clock.

"Noon," he replied, and sighed.

"What's the matter?" I wondered. What could possibly be the problem today? This was probably one of the best days of my life. Scratch that, it was definitely the best day of my life. I was happily in love with the man of my dreams.

"I've got to leave for patrols. I've got the one o'clock shift." I groaned when I realized that meant very little time for us to be together today.

"That's what I'm saying," he said, rolling me over so I lay on top of him. I giggled and brought my mouth down on his.

"I love you, Jacob Black," I said, growing serious. He brought his warm hand up to my face.

"I love you, Bella Swan."

"I always have," I said, hoping he'd realize the extent that I loved him. "I always will. No matter what. And I'll never stop."

"Neither will I," he replied, pulling me down for another heart-stopping kiss. "Nothing could ever stop me from loving you." Emily called to us from the kitchen and I sighed, rolling up to get dressed and join our hosts for breakfast before beginning the day.

We ate breakfast with Emily and Sam, and then I showered and got ready for the day. Jake walked me out to my truck, but neither of us were ready to leave the other.

"Bells, I have to go," he said. "What are you going to do?"

"I'm going to go see Alice," I said. His mouth contoured into a firm line.

"I want to tell her about what's happening with you and I. She's my best friend," I protested.

"Bells, why do you insist on putting yourself in danger?"

"I'm not putting myself in danger!"

"Right, because hanging out with vampires is so safe," he said sarcastically.

"I figure it ranks right up there with chilling with werewolves," I spat back at him, and then I instantly regretted it when I saw the flash of pain go across his face. Then it was gone.

"Bella, if it weren't for the werewolves, you would have been dead long ago. So I think we're pretty high on your safe list." I crossed my arms against my chest and looked pointedly away from him, ignoring his dry laugh.

After a moment, I decided I should apologize, "I'm sorry, Jake. I didn't mean that comment about werewolves. I love my wolf."

He snorted, and then explained, "And your wolf loves you. But Bells, you've got to think about this from my perspective. You're hanging around with my mortal enemies. I know that you love them and all, but can you see why they are our enemies?"

"No, not really," I answered truthfully. I mean, I could see his perspective as far as Edward, but that had nothing to do with being a vampire and a wolf, it was all about being two guys in love with the same girl. "But, I'm glad that I didn't decide to become a vampire. Then I'd be your mortal enemy."

"I'm glad you're not my mortal enemy," he said, as he picked me up so that we could see eye to eye. "Will you be very careful?" he asked, his eyes boring into mine, searching for my promise.

"Of course," I replied. He kissed me again, and set me down on my feet, opening the door to my truck for me.

"I'll come over to Charlie's when my patrols end at six," he promised. I nodded, and started the engine. I watched him head toward the woods so he could phase. Missing him already, I pulled out of Emily's driveway and headed for Forks.

Figuring I could just stop and talk to Alice, I pulled up to the Cullens' house about fifteen minutes later. Alice walked out with a smile.

"Hey, I was about to go for a hunt about thirty minutes ago, then I suddenly saw you here," she said, wrapping her arms around me.

"Hey, Alice. I wanted to talk to you," I said. "Where is everyone?"

"Carlisle is working at the hospital. The Denali's invited us up for a visit, and it has been awhile since we've seen them. So Carlisle went in for a shift to help before we left. The rest of us were going for a hunt first. But then I saw you, so I stayed behind. The others will be back soon," she promised. I nodded. I was hoping to see Rosalie too.

"So, you're alone?" I asked. She knew what I was asking.

"Edward is upstairs, getting his things together. He's planning on staying there longer than the rest of us. Wants to kind of clear his mind. He's leaving in a couple of minutes." I nodded my head in understanding. "Come on in, Bella. I want to hear everything." I followed her into the living room and sat down. We were chatting over little things, about Carlisle and Esme, what Jasper had been up to, when she changed the tone of the conversation.

"So…I have an idea of what you came to tell me," she teased. I blushed; was I that transparent?

"Yeah…" I said. She grinned at me, which made me blush even harder.

"Are you happy? Was it wonderful?"

"Yes, I am very happy. And it was wonderful beyond words. It was perfect…oh Alice, I haven't told you this yet but he imprinted on me," I gushed. She looked confused. I realized she didn't know what an imprint was. "An imprint is kind of like the wolf version of a soul mate. You only have one, and I am Jacob's, and he is mine. Sam thinks the reason it took so long for the two of us to completely imprint was because I had to let go of my love for Edward to completely allow Jake to love me. I mean, I love Edward, I always will, but not nearly as much as I love Jacob. Oh, Alice, everything is so perfect. It is fate—" I caught myself and stared at Alice in shock. I had just been gushing, forgetting that Edward was upstairs and probably heard everything I had said. I hurried to my feet when, in response, a door upstairs opened and suddenly Edward was in front of me.

"I can't believe that you would give yourself to Jacob just because he told you that he imprinted on you. That's a lie. It isn't possible. Fate had already given you to me. He can't love you the way that I do. I should have just changed you when you asked." Blinking up at him, I watched something flicker in his eyes, and then before I knew it, I was pressed up against the wall.

I shuddered as Edward ran his nose against the skin of my neck. I tried to scream, but no sound would come out.

"EDWARD! NO!" Alice screamed, trying to tear him away from me. He flicked her away like she was a tiny bug and she fell against the coffee table, shattering it. Everything was startlingly clear, I could hear the clock ticking the time away, I could hear my frantic heartbeat, I could see Jacob's face so clear in my mind. The pale paneling of the wall was hard behind my back.

"He won't want you any more, once you're like me," he said, bringing his mouth to the hollow of my neck. I could smell his venom, and fleetingly remembered Jake telling me how it was sickeningly sweet to him. Jacob…

"EDWARD!" Alice screamed, trying again to tear him away from me. The door slammed open and Jasper, Emmett and Rosalie rushed in. Jasper and Emmett ran in behind Alice to help, moving so fast they were flashes of marble white. I heard the slamming of their stone-like bodies against each other as Jasper and Emmett tried to wrench Edward away. Edward kicked Jasper in the stomach, sending him flying across the room. Emmett grabbed Edward by the arms and wrestled him away from me. Edward was fighting hard; I had never seen anything like it. I sank to the floor, trying hard to breathe. Jasper had recovered from his boot to the middle, and was trying to help Emmett drag Edward towards the back door.

I closed my eyes, hoping to erase the terror. The look in Edward's eyes had been murderous. I had never been so scared. Seeing him throw both Jasper and Alice to the side made me want to throw up. Suddenly I was being grabbed again by cold hands. I screamed as I was roughly yanked up and held up by the wrists to the wall. I stared into Edward's monstrous black eyes. I knew in that moment that I was going to die.

*********

There was a loud bang as the front door slammed open again…what was going on?

"Get your filthy fucking hands off her!" I heard Jake's voice bark. Relief coursed through my body. Edward didn't move his eyes from mine, just snarled in Jacob's direction. Wait. Jake had spoken. I moved my eyes to look for him, and was met with a terrible sight. Jacob hadn't phased, he was standing there in his cut off sweats surrounded by edgy vampires. Terror took over my relief. What would happen if they attacked him?

"Jacob!" I squeaked. Edward snarled again as I spoke Jacob's name and his cold hands' hold tightened on my wrists against the wall. I whimpered as I felt a terrible pain shoot up my arm. The sound of my whimper seemed to have brought Edward's attention back to me. He stared at me, horror-struck by the situation. He released me from his grasp and my feet touched the floor.

"Bella. I'm so sorry, Bella," he said, stepping away from me and he ran out the back door. I held my wrist in my hand and half ran, tripping over my feet through my tears to Jacob. Emmett and Jasper looked helplessly around and then headed to follow their brother. Jacob lifted me up into his arms, turned without a word, and walked out the front door.

"Jacob?" Sam asked. Jacob just shook his head.

"I need to get her to the hospital. I think the fucker broke her wrist," he said, opening the passenger door and setting me carefully into the seat. He shut the door. "Tell everyone that we'll meet tonight, normal time and place. I need to take care of Bella."

"Bella!" Alice called, running down the stairs. Jacob made a protective move to keep her from getting close to me. "Back off, dog," she commanded. "I'm not going to hurt her." He stood there for a couple of seconds, gauging Alice's request before letting her close to me. She yanked open the door.

"I'm so sorry! I didn't know that he would do that," she said, climbing in and wrapping her arms around my neck. I leaned into her and cried into her icy shoulder.

"What the hell good is seeing the future if you can't prevent bad things from happening?" Jacob growled.

"I didn't see it! I swear, Bella, I wouldn't have just stood aside and let him hurt you. Please know that!" I nodded and tried desperately to stop my tears. "He wasn't planning to do it. It was just a split-second decision, after he heard what you had said about not loving him this way…" her hand made a motion between Jacob and me, and I saw him stiffen out of the corner of my eye. Hmm. What was that about?

I assured Alice that I wasn't mad at her and gently reminded her that my arm hurt like hell. Jake got into the driver's seat and drove silently away from the Cullen house. I heard a howl not unlike Jacob's, but filled with pain. I started, concerned something else had happened.

"It's him," Jake said tersely. "He's regretting his actions, I think."

"Jacob, I'm so sorry. You were right, I shouldn't have gone over there, but I never would have thought he could hurt me. Well, no, I knew he could hurt me, but I never thought that he would. Jacob..."

"He could have killed you, Bella. He could have changed you into a vampire to be like him. And you wouldn't be my Bella anymore. You'd be his." I hung my head at his words. Suddenly, a thought came to my mind.

We went to the hospital, where Carlisle took care of my broken wrist. This was all standard procedure for me, but Jake was looking worried the whole time. He had a quiet conversation with Carlisle, I assumed it was about what had just happened but thanks to the constant chatter of the x-ray technician, I couldn't hear any of it. When she was done torturing me, Jake wheeled me back out, and Carlisle followed behind us shortly with the films. He then explained where my breaks were and when to come back for follow-up.

"I know the drill. This isn't my first broken bone." They were both trying to stifle their laughter. Sure, laugh it up at poor clumsy Bella guys. "Seriously? Can we get this show on the road?" We went out to the truck and were on our way to my house.

"How am I supposed to explain how this happened?" I asked once we had apologized to each other. He told me that Carlisle had put on my record that I had slammed my arm in a door. Perfect, it was so me. When we were on my porch, a thought suddenly came to my mind.

"I was wondering something." I paused to make sure I had his full attention, then continued, "Jacob…why were you there? Did you not trust me?"

**A/N: So, while you're waiting anxiously for my next post, make sure to check out some other amazing fics. Coming Full Circle by toooldforthis is my favorite story in all of the Twilight fandom. Also check out Moonshadow by chef diamond heart, Breakthrough by crystalnicoleyo, the latest chapter of Breathe Again, Grady Thomas Masen by mybrandofheroin84, and Emotional Ambush by Mombailey. All of those stories own me, as do their respective authors. **


	15. Chapter 15

**A/N: This is the last of the double points of view because some things are going to be going down too fast for me to go back and forth, plus...I figure that if it gets kind of boring when I'm writing, it might get a little boring reading it. So, we left off with Bella waking up euphoric after sexin' it with Jake to ending up in a cast yelling at Jake.**

**Let's get Jake's thoughts on everything that went down last chapter.**

**Chapter 15-Jacob's POV**

"Jacob," I heard, and I turned to the voice. I had been lying on my bed, staring at the ceiling, waiting for sleep to come.

"Bella?" She was in her customary pajamas of a tank top and shorts. At least, I thought they were her customary pajamas. I'd only seen her in them once, but that's what she was wearing. Why was she in her pajamas at my house? How'd she gotten in?

"I want you," she said, pulling her shirt off and coming to lie next to me. Unable to control myself, I dove my hands into her silky hair and brought her face to mine to kiss her forcefully. I was driven by need. She pressed herself to me, and I felt myself growing hard. She slipped her hand under the waistband of my shorts, and I took in a sharp breath as she grasped me with one hand while the other hand pulled my shorts down completely.

"Bella?" I asked, unsure of myself, unsure of what was going on.

"I want you now, Jacob," she said, bringing her mouth around the head of my cock. _Oh my god. Oh my fucking God. _I couldn't do anything, couldn't think of anything other than Bella. Pulling her up, I ripped off her tiny shorts; they were no match for me. I flipped her over on her back and lowered my mouth to her center. She was hot, wet, and waiting for me. As I flicked my tongue against her, I placed my fingers inside her. She moaned out my name, which began my undoing. I pulled myself over her, and pressed myself against her center.

"Jacob," she moaned, and I looked down at her. She was staring at me with bright red eyes.

Sitting straight up, I tried unsuccessfully to catch my breath. Disoriented, I wondered where I was. Ah yes. Emily's. With Bella. My Bella. I looked down at her, wrapped in my shirt and sleeping soundly.

What a fucked up dream.

I took a deep breath and lay back down next to my love. I couldn't believe my luck. No matter how much I had wanted her, I had never thought that I would ever get her. But now I had her and she had me. Life was good. As long as I didn't have another dream like that.

It was a restless morning. I couldn't stop dreaming about those eyes. Finally, I gave up on the idea of sleep and focused instead on the curves and lines of Bella's body. Running my hand over her arm, I realized that I was so in love with this girl. I couldn't think about anything but her. I missed her when she was gone; I was only truly complete when she was around. I silently thanked my lucky stars that none of my brothers were around, or I'd be losing my man card. This thought made me chuckle and Bella started stirring.

She turned to me and met my eyes. "Good morning, beautiful," I said as she nuzzled against me.

"What time is it?" she asked.

Hmm, good question. Looking around for the clock, I saw it was later than I expected. "Noon," I answered, sighing.

"What's the matter?" she asked.

"I've got to leave for patrols. I've got the one o'clock shift." She groaned in reply.

"That's what I'm saying," I agreed, and rolled her on top of me. She laughed huskily and brought her mouth on mine, and then a serious look came across her face.

"I love you, Jacob Black," she said. My heart leapt in my chest. I brought my hand to her perfect face.

"I love you, Bella Swan," I said, rubbing the pad of my thumb across her cheek.

"I always have, I always will. No matter what. And I'll never stop," she insisted. I grinned.

"Neither will I," I returned, pulling her face down so her lips could meet mine. "Nothing could ever stop me from loving you."

"Jake! Bella! I've made breakfast!" Emily's voice called out. My stomach growled in reply, making Bella laugh. She stood up and grabbed a pair of shorts from her bag.

"Let's eat," she suggested.

As we joined Emily and Sam in the kitchen, I felt the stare from Sam immediately. When I met his eyes, his brightened. Great, so yeah, my brother had just found out I had sex for the first time. Fantastic. I busied myself with piling pancakes on my plate.

After breakfast, I left Bella long enough to run home and change into a pair of cut off sweatpants, then ran back to Emily's before she could even get out of the shower. I helped her pack the rest of her things, sad to know that she had to leave. I felt her reluctance to leave paralleling mine as I walked her to the truck. I tossed her bag into the cab, and then turned to find Bella wrapping her tiny arms around me. I laughed and encircled mine around her.

"Bells, I have to go," I said. "What are you going to do?"

"I'm going to go see Alice," she replied. What? Seriously? After last night, she was going over there?

"I want to tell her about what's happening with you and me. She's my best friend," she argued.

"Bells, why do you insist on putting yourself in danger?" I was so frustrated. What part of 'mortal enemies' did she not get?

"I'm not putting myself in danger!" she cried.

"Right, because hanging out with vampires is so safe," I said, feeling sarcastic.

"I figure it ranks right up there with chilling with werewolves," she spat back at me with venom. Ouch. Well, two could play at that game.

"Bella, if it weren't for the werewolves, you would have been dead long ago, so I think we're pretty high on your safe list," I laughed dryly. She crossed her arms and turned away from me. I waited for a second, and she relaxed.

"I'm sorry, Jake. I didn't mean that comment about werewolves. I love my wolf."

I snorted. "And your wolf loves you. But Bells, you've got to think about this from my perspective. You're hanging around with my mortal enemies. I know that you love them and all, but can you see why they are our enemies?"

"No, not really. But I'm glad that I didn't decide to become a vampire. Then I'd be your mortal enemy."

I rested my head against her truck as I tried to block the red eyes from my dream from my mind.

"I'm glad you're not my mortal enemy," I suddenly picked her up, and she wrapped her legs around my middle. "Will you be very careful?" I asked her, hoping to find a promise in her eyes.

"Of course," she replied and I kissed her again.

"Jacob," Sam said, stepping out of the house. I sighed and kissed her one final time, setting her down on her feet. She stepped into the open car door.

"I'll come over to Charlie's when my patrols end at six," I promised. She nodded and started the engine. I turned away from her and followed Sam into the woods to phase and begin our patrol.

About an hour into my shift, I started feeling strange. Something wasn't right.

_Jacob, what's wrong?_ Sam asked.

_I don't know. Something doesn't feel right. Something is wrong._

_What? Are you sick?_

_No, it isn't me. It feels like something bad is about to happen._

_Like what?_ he wondered.

Bella. Bella was with the vamps. Something was wrong with Bella. I stopped my run and turned toward Forks, running as fast as I could.

_Quil, I need you to tell the others_, Sam commanded. I could hear Quil's shock, then didn't hear anything when he phased back to his human form to alert the others.

_What is Bella doing there?_ Sam's voice was skeptical in my mind.

_She wanted to talk to Alice, she said she would be safe. But Sam, something bad, really bad is about to happen._

_I trust you,_ Sam said, surprising me. _What do you want us to do?_

_I want you to stay with me. You're better at staying calm. You can keep me calm in case I want to rip their throats out._

_And our brothers?_

_I just want them around. Just in case._

_In case of what?_

_A fight._ We were nearing the Cullen house, and our brothers were close behind. As we got closer, I listened hard for Bella. I saw her truck outside.

_I'm going to phase back,_ I told Sam.

_I will also,_ Sam said. _Brothers, listen for my yell. It will mean your help is needed. Stay close by._

I phased, and pulled my shorts on. Suddenly, I heard Bella scream. Throwing all caution to the wind, I dashed up the stairs of the big white house and threw open the door.

What I saw there made me want to throw up. Bella was being held up against the wall by her wrists by Edward. Jasper and Emmett were trying desperately to pull him off of her, but Edward's bloodlust was stronger than the two of them put together. I saw the tears coursing down her cheeks, her eyes pleading with him, pleading to live.

"Get your filthy fucking hands off of her!" I yelled from where I stood, feeling the quivers, but knowing that I couldn't phase right now, that it would break the treaty, and I could hurt Bella. I saw Bella's body sag with relief as her eyes met mine, but Edward's hands didn't release, he just snarled at me.

"Jacob…" she whispered as her body tensed back up. The bloodsucker snarled again as Bella said my name and tightened his grip on her and the snap in her left wrist was deafening. I felt my body begin to shake uncontrollably when a whimper of pain emitted from her throat. He broke her fucking arm. I was going to kill him.

Edward seemed to have realized what he had done and suddenly dropped Bella. His face was full of horror over what he had done to her. As it well should be. He muttered an apology and went running out the back door. I didn't care where he went, just as long as he got far enough away from me that I didn't kill him. I didn't give a shit about the treaty at this point. I would tear him limb from limb and make the fucker suffer for what he had done to the love of my life.

Bella half sobbed and came running to me, tripping in her movements. I took a step to meet her halfway. Her tears began again as I picked her up, and she cried into my shoulder as I turned around without a word to take her to the truck.

"Jacob?" Sam asked, questions in his eyes as I walked down the steps with Bella in my arms. I just shook my head at him, indicating that I couldn't talk about it right now.

"I need to get her to the hospital. I think the fucker broke her wrist," I said, stepping up to the truck and opening the door to the passenger side. I carefully set Bella in, kissed her forehead, and shut the door. I turned to where Sam stood uncertainly behind me. "Tell everyone that we'll meet tonight, normal time and place. I need to take care of Bella." Whoa. Where did that come from? I was ordering Sam around? What was even more surprising was that he listened and nodded.

"I will. Be careful, Jake," he said, taking off to the forest. I began to walk to the driver's side, when I noticed Alice hurrying down the steps. Wasn't one bloodsucker enough? Was this one going to finish her off?

"Bella!" she called, running down the stairs. I moved in front of the door, a growl emitting from my throat. "Back off, dog, I'm not going to hurt her." I glared at her, not really sure if I could trust her. She met my eyes, and I saw that she was telling the truth. I sighed and stepped to the side. She opened Bella's door and climbed in next to her.

"I'm so sorry! I didn't know that he would do that," she said hugging Bella to her. This started Bella's waterworks again. Didn't she realize that her tears broke my heart?

"What the hell good is seeing the future if you can't prevent bad things from happening?" I couldn't help muttering under my breath.

"I didn't see it! I swear, Bella, I wouldn't have just stood aside and let him hurt you. Please know that! He wasn't planning to do it. It was just a split-second decision, after he heard what you had said about not loving him this way…" She told Alice that she never even loved the leech this way? She loved me more than she loved him? Wow.

I listened as she assured Alice that she wasn't mad at her. When she pointed out that she was sitting there with a broken arm, I moved to the driver's side and got in, driving away from that hell house. We had almost gotten to the highway when a howl of pain echoed through the air. Bella jumped.

"It's him," I said, feeling sick again. "He's regretting his actions, I think."

"Jacob, I'm so sorry. You were right, I shouldn't have gone over there, but I never would have thought he could hurt me. Well, no, I knew he could hurt me, but I never thought that he would. Jacob…" This really pissed me off. Why couldn't she just fucking listen to me?

"He could have killed you, Bella. He could have changed you into a vampire like him. And you wouldn't be my Bella any more. You'd be his." She hung her head, staring at her hands. I felt my anger subside.

We got her into the hospital and, thankfully, Alice had called the Doc to tell him what had happened. He intercepted us at the door and took us right back to Radiology where Bella could get x-rayed.

"Jacob, what happened?" he asked in a low voice, while the technician started the series of x-rays that Carlisle had ordered. Quietly, I told him what I had seen and I watched his expression change to one of horror.

"I'll do what I can to make Bella comfortable. I apologize to both of you for what Edward put you through today. Bella didn't deserve that." I nodded, and at that point the technician brought Bella back out. I wheeled her back to the ER bay where our things were. Carlisle quickly followed.

"It definitely is broken. Both here," he pointed, "and here. I'm going to get a cast on you, Bella, and I'll need to see you back here in six weeks to recheck it and hopefully take the cast off."

Bella nodded. "I know the drill. This isn't my first broken bone," she mumbled. Carlisle and I couldn't hide the grins that came over our faces. She looked up to see our identical expressions. "Seriously? Can we get this show on the road?"

Carlisle stood up to grab some supplies while I changed my expression to one of exaggeratedly deep sorrow, as if I was with a dying aunt. She snorted at me.

"Sorry," I mumbled. I watched as Dr. Cullen wrapped her arm in plaster, and then waited for him to discharge us. After helping Bella into the seat, I slid behind the wheel and sighed.

"I'm sorry," Bella apologized again. Her constant string of apologizes was driving me a little ape-shit. I nodded and headed towards her house.

"How am I supposed to explain how this happened?" She asked me, as we were pulling up to her house.

"Doc Fang put in your paperwork that you slammed your arm in a door," I said, grinning over at her. She rolled her eyes.

"Sounds like something I'd do," she muttered, running her arm over the plaster of her cast. I opened her door and walked behind her up to the house. Stopping on the front porch, she turned to me.

"I was wondering something," she said, glaring at me accusingly. I felt the hairs on the back of my neck rise. I knew I wasn't going to like this. "Jacob, why were you there? Did you not trust me?"

"What?" I sputtered. Seriously?

"Why were you at the Cullens' house? Were you watching me?"

"No! I had a feeling that you were in trouble!" I protested.

"How would you? And how did you get there so fast? You didn't trust me," she accused. I felt fury building up in me.

"Obviously you couldn't be trusted! I told you not to go there. And I don't ever want you to go back there again!" I hollered. My hands formed into fists on the sides of my body. I could feel the sweat beading on my forehead as I tried desperately hard to keep control.

"You can't tell me where I can and can't go, Jacob," she said, her voice rising.

"Like hell I can't!"

"Go away, Jacob. I don't want you here," she spat, yanking the door open and slamming it shut behind her. I stood there in shock for a second, before running to the woods to phase, so pissed that I forgot to pull off my sweatpants. Shit.

She was fucking insane. Why the hell would she want to be around those bloodsuckers again? Didn't she just see what could happen to her?

"Go away, Jacob," I heard her say in my head. "Go away, Jacob," the voice said again. She wanted me to go away? Fine. I was out of here.

_Jake…_ I heard Seth's voice say.

_No. You get your shaggy butt here if you're so fucking concerned. She doesn't want me around, so I'm not going to be around._

I started running, not knowing or caring where I went, just knowing that I was leaving my broken heart in Forks.

A/N: While you're waiting for the next chapter, I have some recs. Of course, you can always go read Anger Management by mybrandofheroin and myself. You can also check out my recently updated Heart in a Headlock on Twilighted. I beta this really awesome story called 'How to Seduce a Werewolf" by leelator...it is epic and is on Twilighted. Also Broken by ysar and Corner Coffee Shop by Live720 are huge wins.


	16. Chapter 16

Happy New Year! I hope that everyone has a safe and happy 2010. I have some pretty big resolutions this year, including finishing up some of my stories and finding a way to meet Taylor. :)

One of my awesome readers (liljules) suggested this chapter. So this one is for you, babe. I hope that I gave your idea some justice. I love you, just so you know.

Big hugs to Meg, my better half. I love you. And much adoration to Hopeful wager because she gets my chapters out so quickly.

Stephenie Meyer owns Twilight and everything associated with it. I own my new New Moon board game :)

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Chapter 16-Alice

I watched Jacob and Bella drive away, and rushed to find Jasper. He was trying to calm Edward down, but it was proving to be impossible. What Edward needed was to be able to run away and feel sorry for himself. I realized that it wasn't entirely his fault. Even if Edward wasn't a vampire, he would have been upset by this whole situation. I felt sorry for him. It wasn't his fault that he had lost his temper; it wasn't his fault that he had forgotten how strong he was and broke her wrist. I wasn't even angry at him for flinging me across the room. But he was angry at himself, thinking that he should have been able to hold the force of his emotions in check.

As I raced through the woods, I saw Edward running away, and Emmett told Rose and Jazz just to let him go. Esme tried to run after him, but gave up. She seemed to realize that he needed this, needed to be away right as I got there. I went over to her and wrapped my arms around her.

"Poor Edward. Poor Bella." Esme's voice was soft against my shoulder. Her heart was sad. None of us could have seen this coming. Bella and Edward had a romance almost like one out of a fairy tale, save for the evil vampires and the near-death experiences. Yep. Call Disney, this one needed to be made into a movie. However, it seemed more like they were destined for a fate not unlike Romeo and Juliet.

Keeping my arm around my mother, we walked back to the house. Esme placed a call to Carlisle who was in the midst of treating Bella. He said once he was finished with his shift, he'd come directly home to help with damage control. He did want to assure us all that Bella was fine, and that she was going to heal quite nicely.

The several hours dragged on, and I began to realize that this was entirely my fault. I had known that Edward was around, that he was within hearing distance, yet I brought up the fact that Bella had just given to Jacob what Edward had held most dear. Edward was bound to be crushed, and I just ignored all sense of his feelings when I pressed Bella to talk about it. But how was I to know that she and Jacob had imprinted? Not that I was entirely sure what imprinting was, but I figured it was pretty big, seeing how Edward had reacted when he heard Bella talking about it.

I tried to talk to Jasper about it, but he just assured me that this wasn't my fault and tried to soothe me with a sense of calmness about me. His effect on me was almost like Novocain; it may have masked the pain but I still knew it was there.

Finally, Carlisle arrived home and we all rushed to him to try to explain what had happened. After trying to listen to all of us at the same time (not an easy feat), he sat us all down to talk about this. I explained to Carlisle and the rest of my family that this was my fault; Rosalie became indignant at first before Emmett calmed her down, noting that this would have happened no matter what. It had been an inevitable event in time.

"Where did Edward go, Alice?" Carlisle aimed at me, bringing me out of my stupor. I quickly looked inside myself, searching for the fate of my brother.

"He's going to Alaska, hoping to get some refuge with the Denali clan. Carmen will take care of him; Eleazar will help him through this. Kate, Irina, and Tanya will be there for him, too."

"I think that we need to go there as well," Carlisle started after taking a minute to think. "Edward needs us. Regardless of how much we love Bella, Edward is our family, now and forever more. We cannot have him suffering this way and I believe that the only way to prove to him that he is loved is to show him that he is our son, our brother, no matter who he loves or who he is with."

"Can I…can I explain this to Bella?" I asked, starting to feel panic rising up inside of me. This was bad. This was very bad. But would it be as bad as last time? Would Bella see this as a betrayal again, or would she be relieved that we were gone so she could spend her energies on her new mate, on her new life?

"Yes, most definitely," Carlisle said kindly. "I don't want you to do what Edward did to her last year though. Explain that we'll always be here for her, but that it is time for us to move on. Also let her know that we'll always let her know where we are, regardless of who she chooses to spend her life with, Bella will always be a part of us."

I nodded. If vampires could cry, tears would be streaming down my face. I stood up.

"I'll go now. Then we can come back home and get ready to leave."

"Alice. It is three o' clock in the morning. I understand that you're worked up, but you need to at least let the poor girl sleep. She had a rough day yesterday."

Feeling a little stupid, I sat back down next to Jazz.

"Whoops." They laughed at me, and the tension in the room was finally broken. This wasn't anyone's fault, not really. It was just something that had happened because we had been careless with the feelings of those we loved. We could make this better…right?

We spent the wee hours of the morning getting everything together so Rosalie and Esme could leave for Alaska while the rest of us finished everything here. We decided that someone had to go up there to console Edward, and Esme was the best choice. Rosalie offered to accompany her, and hopefully she'd keep her mouth shut so he wouldn't get even more upset.

I couldn't hold myself together for much longer, and I found myself on the front porch of the Swan house at eight-thirty later that morning. Hesitantly, I knocked on the wooden door and heard Bella's gasp of surprise and her clamoring down the stairs before she hit the front door trying to stop herself from falling. I rolled my eyes just before the door was pulled open.

"Jake?" she asked, looking out hopefully.

"Is this the new way to answer the door?" I asked, my voice dry despite the unease I was feeling.

"Alice," she replied, her voice ringing with disappointment.

"Yeah, great to see you too, Bella." I winced. Apparently sarcasm was quickly becoming my coping mechanism of choice.

"I'm sorry, Alice. I…I made a mistake. I told Jacob that I didn't want him here anymore and he left. He left, Alice." I took her warm arm into my cold hand and steered her over the threshold before sitting down with her on the porch steps.

"I'm sorry, Bella," I started. "If it is any consolation, I still can't see your future. So that is pretty encouraging, right?" She was silent, and my unease flared up again. Did Jacob really leave? Was he going to come back? These wolves made no sense to me. I had no clue what they were doing, so I couldn't really assure myself, much less my best friend. I figured it was best to drop the subject and drop the bomb on her.

"Anyway, I wanted to stop by and let you know what is going on here. Edward has left."

"What?" she asked, amazement flashing across her features.

"He's really torn up over what happened, can't believe that he would do that to you, so he's left the area. He wanted to see you, but I told him that it wouldn't be wise." That was a lie, but I figured it was better that she think about Edward in a good way, because the last picture she had of him in her mind was not good at all.

"Where did he go?"

I was silent. Was I supposed to I tell her? Did she really want to know? I looked over at her; she was watching my face to gauge my reaction.

"He went to Alaska. Rose and Esme went too, to make sure he made it okay."

"Are you leaving, too?" she asked.

Damn, this girl was perceptive. I sighed, knowing that I couldn't really lie to her much more.

"We all are. It's time. We've been here for a few years now, and I think that all of us being here will just hurt Edward more than necessary."

"Alice!" her wail was shrill in the early morning hours.

"Bella, I'll always be here for you though. All you have to do is call. Just because I'm leaving Forks doesn't mean that I'm leaving you!" She started to cry loudly, big fat tears dripping down her face. I was initially startled: I didn't realize she would take this so badly. Then I realized that she wasn't just crying because of me. She was crying because of the loss of her family, and the loss of her first love. Bella would always love Edward, there was no doubt of that. But she had made the best decision for herself and for her future. I knew that she loved Jacob and that he would be best for her. He was the closest to her equal, she never had to try to be different to be with him. He loved her for all that she already was, not for who she would be if she became a vampire.

I took her into my arms and let her soak the fabric of my shirt. I stroked her hair while she sobbed and sobbed. When her tears finally ebbed, I hugged her and told her that she could always call me and I would be there for her in a heartbeat. I stalled for as long as I could, but eventually I had to leave. I squeezed Bella in a hug one more time before I had to tear myself away from her. I flew down the steps and made my way into the forest. My heart ached for all of us. This was so hard.

When I arrived home, Jazz was outside on the steps waiting for me. He stood up and wrapped me into his arms, calming me with his words and sweet kisses. As much as I loved Bella and Edward, Jazz was my home, my anchor. Wherever he was, anywhere from Alaska to Antarctica, was where I wanted to be.

"I love you," I said simply.

"I love you, too," he replied, kissing my forehead as he steered me toward the house. "Carlisle just put in his leave of absence at the hospital. He wants to decide what we're going to do from here, where we're going to go. I'm worried, this is the first time we haven't mapped out a definitive plan."

We stepped into the house to talk to the family. Carlisle proposed that we just go to Denali and soothe Edward before we decide to do anything else. Edward was our priority.

"I agree, but first, Carlisle…the wolves are here," Jasper said, standing up. Startled, I jumped up. I had been way too involved with our conversation to notice the scent. We all stood up to join him and walked outside to where Sam and the rest of the pack stood in their human form. Their faces were not friendly…they were hardened and stern.

"We'll have to speak like this because Edward is not present to read our minds and translate. We need to discuss the treaty, because it was very obviously nearly breeched today."

"Nearly breeched? You came on our land, dog. That counts as breeched in my book," Emmett spat at Sam. Paul growled and took a step toward us. Emmett tightened his fists and started to take a step, but Carlisle put his hand on Emmett's broad chest, holding him back.

"Your brother very nearly bit the imprint of our brother. Bella is our family, and we can't have these things happen to her. We need to reinstate the treaty so that things like this do not happen again. You need to leave Bella alone."

"Bella came here!" Emmett spat.

"Because she considers you all to be her friends. But it is obvious that you cannot be trusted with our sister."

"Can't be trusted?" I squeaked. My heart felt like it was breaking into a thousand pieces.

"No. And if you do not leave soon, then we will expose you all for what you are. We've been patient long enough. We've begun to fear for the safety of our tribe. We want you out of this area."

"You are telling us…to leave?" I looked at Seth, the one person I felt like I could trust, the one who helped my brother save the life of my best friend. He didn't raise his head. He seemed like he was reluctant to be here, but I knew that he couldn't disobey if Sam had told him what to do.

"As a matter of fact, we are leaving. But not because you told us to," Jasper said, standing up tall. I felt a surge of pride course through me over the confidence in my husband. "We're leaving because ultimately, it is best for Bella. She needs Jacob far more than she needs us. We will be back though, as soon as she needs us."

"What would she need you for?" Paul scoffed. "She has us."

"Because no matter what, Alice is Bella's best friend. Alice is the one that Bella runs to when she's upset or in need of something. So while we'll be away from Forks and La Push, we'll always be around."

I could have kissed Jasper at that moment. I could hear the snarls coming from the pack, and I turned to face them, surprised to see that they were shaking, most noticeably Paul who was undeniably the most volatile member of the pack.

"Is that how this is gonna be?" Emmett asked, cracking his knuckles. The fun-loving Emmett that I knew was gone, replaced with vampire Emmett. He looked downright menacing.

"Emmett," Carlisle warned. "Sam, please."

"Carlisle, while I respect you and what you've done for Jacob, what you are goes against everything that I am made of. You are an abomination. And for that, you shouldn't exist."

_Shrouded figures were running through the darkened woods, their feet moving so fast that they hardly made a sound. They were looking for something, for someone. They knew our secret…that she wasn't going to become one of us, that I had lied to them. They were out for her blood. It was their responsibility to get the girl and bring her to their master, for he wanted to give her the final option of becoming a vampire. If she said yes, it would be done immediately and she would take her rightful place in the guard because Aro knew that there was something hidden inside her. If she said no…Aro would drain her and send her blood to her ex-lover, so he could revel in the sweetness that was his la tua cantante._

Bella stood in the middle of the room we had been in months ago when we had saved Edward. Her clothes were torn, tears were streaming down her face while Felix gripped her neck in his hand. "

"No!" she screamed.

Aro shook his head. "Such a waste." He stepped up to her and Felix let her go as Aro brought his mouth to Bella's neck. Bone-chilling screams ensued until Bella's body lay in a crumpled heap on the marbled floor. 

"Stop!" I screamed as Emmett and Paul got into each other's faces. Everyone's face met mine, and I struggled to catch my breath after the horror I had just seen.

"Bella is in danger…the Volturi, they know that she isn't going to become a vampire. I don't know how, but they do. Aro and the others are coming to get her because Aro wants her in the Guard. If she says no, he's going to kill her and send her blood to Edward." Everyone's faces, whether they were vampire or werewolf, turned to a mixture of horror and disgust.

"What do we need to do?" asked Seth, speaking for the first time.

"Carlisle. I need a place to hide her," I said, a plan formulating in my brain quickly. "Do you know of any secluded places that I can take her until they decide to give up?"

"I do. I have to talk to Esme first though. What about Charlie?"

"We can have Billy take him out of town or invite him to the reservation," Sam spoke again. "Don't worry about Charlie, we'll keep him safe. You do what you need to do to keep Bella safe."

"Oh, so now it's okay for us to help Bella out, now that she's in trouble," Emmett grumbled.

"Emmett, please, now is not the time," Carlisle said before turning to me. "What do we need to do, Alice?"

I took a deep breath, searching through my mind for a plan. What to do, what to do? "Start patrolling around Bella's house, but make sure she doesn't know you're there. I have to figure out a plan. We've got maybe another day. I don't want to scare her, but I want to have everything in order before we do anything."

"Keep us informed, all right? We'll do anything and everything we can." Sam said as he started to back up into the woods. I nodded then turned to three of the most important men in my life.

"Carlisle, Jasper, Emmett, let's go inside. We need to figure this out."

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Don't forget that Team SOB is currently hosting "The Rain Scene Challenge" on FFn. Check it out!


	17. Chapter 17

I'm not going to bore you with the reasons why this took so long. I apologize. Real life sucks.

Thanks to Meg for betaing my crap. And to ysar for being all around awesome. I'm lucky to have you guys.

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Chapter 17-Bella

I slammed the door in Jake's startled face, so mad that I couldn't see straight. Unable to stop myself, I turned and peeked out the window. Jake was already tearing his shirt off before he stepped in the woods. Of course he was going to phase. I had watched as his face had gone from concerned to indignant before the anger settled on his face and he began to shake. I trusted him enough to know that he wouldn't hurt me so why couldn't he trust me enough to let me go to my friend's house by myself? So what if that friend just happened to be the sister of my very attractive ex-boyfriend who, again, just happened to be a vampire? I snorted. Big deal.

"Bells?" The voice behind me had me whipping around.

"Oh, hey Dad." He was standing at the foot of the stairs; I must not have heard him come up behind me. His face was cautious…his police officer face.

"What did you do to yourself?" he asked, looking at my arm.

"Heh. I accidentally slammed a door on my arm and broke my wrist in two places. Dr. Cullen was at the hospital and he took care of it for me," I said.

"Thank God the town of Forks has good health insurance," he grumbled, turning away and walking toward the living room. I laughed humorlessly to myself. If it wasn't for living in this town, I doubted I would get hurt half as much as I did. I headed into the kitchen, intent on getting dinner ready.

"Go away, Jacob. I don't want you here," I heard my voice echo in my head as I opened the refrigerator to take out the thawed beef. Why would I say that to him? Why would he listen? I slammed the pan on the counter top. Hadn't he imprinted on me? Wasn't he supposed to stay with me?

While I made dinner, I realized that although I was extremely frustrated at him for following me to the Cullen's house, I wasn't actually angry with him. What he had done was stupid. He broke the treaty and could have endangered the lives of his brothers and the rest of the tribe. Even so, I was fairly certain he'd be back later, with his big Jacob smile and an explanation as to why he had decided it was better to break all the rules of the treaty and follow me.

I waited.

I waited through the beef stroganoff dinner. I waited through the evening news and the sitcoms. I waited through my shower and my nighttime rituals. Exhausted from the day's activities, I went up to my bedroom. As I sat on my bed, I suddenly felt an excruciating pain in my chest. I couldn't breathe; I thought I was going to throw up. I brought my hand to my chest to make sure that my insides weren't spilling out of the monstrous hole but to my surprise, my hand touched cool skin. It was almost like the hole that Edward had caused when he left, but different because I couldn't wrap my arms around myself to close it this time. There was no personal sunshine there to take the pain away this time.

"Go away, Jacob, I don't want you here." My foolish words were like neon lights, flashing through my brain constantly. I felt my eyes fill up with tears. Jacob had left me, and it was entirely my fault. Wrapping my arms around my pillow, I sobbed myself to sleep.

I opened my eyes and found myself alone in the woods. I looked around, wondering how I had gotten here in the middle of the night and where everyone was. My head lifted at the sound of the wind and a maniacal laugh.

"He can't help you now, tasty Bella," the voice that I knew as Jane's rang in the darkness. I started to run, not knowing or caring where I was going, just hoping to be able to get away.

"Bella!" Jake's yell was loud and clear, but I couldn't see him. "Bella!"

I stopped and tried to call back to him but nothing came out. His yells got softer and softer until I couldn't hear them anymore. I stood quietly, hoping that he'd come back but unable to scream his name. I stood there, panting and trying not to cry.

"Bella…" I heard behind me. I turned around and screamed at the sight of the blood red eyes before me.

"Bella. Bella."

I screamed louder, hoping that Jake would be able to answer me.

"Bells, wake up. You're fine. I'm right here." Charlie. I opened my eyes and found my father standing over me, his hand on my shoulder.

"Dad," I sighed in relief. It was a dream.

"Are you okay? I haven't heard you have a dream like that since, well…"

"Since Edward left. It's okay to say his name, Dad. It isn't like before." He sat down on the bed next to me.

"No, I know. And I'm happy that you're with Jake. It's what I've been hoping for...well, for a long time. You've seemed to be really happy until yesterday. What's going on, Bells?"

"Um…" I stalled. I didn't know how much I should tell him. "Jake and I got into a really big fight. He doesn't like that I go to the Cullens' house to see Alice."

Charlie looked thoughtful. "Bella, I love you, but you have to see where Jake is coming from. He's been fighting with Edward over you for months. Edward had the upper hand for a while, and then you started seeing Jake. Understand that the boy is afraid that you'll go back to Edward. Can't blame him there."

While that was possibly true, that couldn't be all of it. But I couldn't tell Charlie that.

"I'm sure Jake will come back around. Don't worry, Bells. I know that boy almost as well as I know you. He loves you. Always has." He stood up and leaned down before giving me an awkward kiss on the forehead. As he closed the door behind him, I had to admit to myself that I felt surprisingly better. Charlie could sometimes amaze me with the little things he did.

In the morning, I had breakfast with Charlie before he had to go to work. I went up to the bathroom and took a shower with my cast in a bread bag so I could keep it dry. As I was drying my hair, I heard a knock on the door. I tossed my towel to the side before throwing on my sweats. I almost killed myself trying to race down the stairs to answer it but was able to catch myself on the wall. Did I really need another broken arm? Or maybe a broken leg this time?

"Jake?" I pled, yanking open the door.

"Is this the new way to answer the door?" Alice asked dryly.

"Alice," I said, disappointment dripping in my voice. While I loved the girl in front of me, her face was not the one I wanted to see.

"Yeah, great to see you too, Bella," she said sarcastically.

"I'm sorry, Alice. I…I made a mistake. I told Jacob that I didn't want him here anymore, and he left. He left, Alice." She took my arm and we sat on the front step.

"I'm sorry, Bella," she said. "If it is any consolation, I still can't see your future. So that is pretty encouraging, right?" Sure, unless it turned out that Jacob had left me for good and I was going to off myself. My silence must not have been reassuring to her.

"Anyway, I wanted to stop by and let you know what is going on here. Edward has left," she said.

"What?" I asked incredulously.

"He's really torn up over what happened, can't believe that he would do that to you, so he's left the area. He wanted to see you, but I told him that it wouldn't be wise."

"Where did he go?" I asked. She was silent for a second. I glanced over at her.

"He went to Alaska," she answered. Ah, he went to the Denali clan's home. "Rose and Esme went too, to make sure he made it okay."

"Are you leaving too?" I asked her. She sighed.

"We all are. It is time. We've been here for two years now, and I think that being here will just hurt Edward more than necessary."

"Alice!" I wailed. I was upset about Alice leaving, but a big part of me was devastated that Edward had left without saying goodbye. I guess ex-girlfriends didn't deserve goodbyes-at least ex-girlfriends that weren't vampires. Gosh, Edward sure was good at leaving me without any explanation.

"Bella, I'll always be here for you though. All you have to do is call. Just because I'm leaving Forks doesn't mean that I'm leaving you!" My tears were falling earnestly now. She wrapped her arms around me and let me cry into her shoulder. I couldn't believe this. First it happened with Edward, then Jacob, then Edward again, and now Alice. Was I so repulsive that I couldn't keep the people I loved near me?

The next day and a half was torturous. I went to work, came home, and went to bed. It had been two days since I had last seen Jacob, and I thought I was dying. I was like Humpty Dumpty…I couldn't be put together again. I was a zombie. I couldn't read, couldn't watch television, couldn't cook, couldn't sleep. The only thing I could do was hear my voice over and over again telling Jacob to leave.

After spending a couple of hours berating myself and watching for a glimpse of Jake's russet fur, I had fallen asleep against the windowsill. I woke only a couple of hours later and I had to adjust my eyes to the brightness of the sky. The sun betrayed me. How could it shine when my life was full of darkness and clouds? I caught a glance of silver in the trees. A flash of hope coursed through me.

"Seth?" I heard a huff, and then the gangly boy came out of the woods wearing a pair of sweatpants.

"Hey, Bella," he said almost reluctantly, looking up at me.

"Seth, what are you doing here?" I asked from my window.

"Patrolling," he replied. He was patrolling? But…Victoria was gone. What was the problem now? Who cared? There was a more pressing issue at hand.

"Seth…where is Jacob?" I hesitatingly asked, tears coming to my eyes.

"I don't know, Bella. I haven't seen him in three days."

"Can't you hear him?"

"Yeah…but he isn't talking back to us. He's in wolf form, we know that, but he's not telling us anything," he said hopelessly.

"Oh," and the tears started falling yet again. Wouldn't I run out of tears eventually? One would think so.

"Bella…"

"Seth, tell him that I'm sorry. Tell him that I'm so, so sorry. And that I miss him," I sobbed. He nodded. A howl sounded in the woods.

"I gotta go," he said, turning around. "I'm sorry, Bella." I watched him run back into the woods, tears coming harder and harder until I couldn't breathe. Stumbling to my bed, I wrapped my un-cast arm around my pillow and cried myself to sleep.

"Bella. Bella, wake up," Alice said urgently, shaking my shoulder.

"Alice?" I asked stupidly, sitting up and rubbing my eyes. The sun had disappeared and dark had replaced it. An angry rain thundered against the panes of my window. That was more like it. The sky was weeping as I was.

"Yes, it's me, Bella. I need you to get up. I don't want you to freak out or anything, but they are coming. The Volturi are coming. You don't have much time. We need to pack your bags, get you out of here," she said, grabbing my suitcase from under my bed and throwing clothes into it.

"What do you mean, get me out of here? Where am I supposed to go? How are we doing this? What about the others? And what time is it?" I groggily looked around for my digital clock.

"It's two in the morning. The others don't know. Only Carlisle, Jasper and I know. Carlisle suggested that Jazz and I take you to this place…well, we had basically forgotten about it until recently. Anyway, Carlisle can fend off Aro and the rest of the Volturi while Jasper and I keep you safe with us."

"Alice…what about Jake?" I whispered. She stopped packing long enough to look over her shoulder at me with pity in her eyes before she started tossing clothes in the duffel bag again.

"Jasper called Sam to let him know what was going on. Sam said he'd let Jacob know. I don't know anything other than that. You know I don't."

"If he does come back, will you be able to see?"

"I don't know. I hope so," she said, sounding frustrated. I watched helplessly as she finished my packing, flitting through my bedroom and into the bathroom for my toiletries as quietly as she could without waking Charlie. Charlie. A flash of comprehension dawned on me, and I felt bile working its way up my throat as I tried to swallow back the terror.

"Alice! What about Charlie?"

"Bella, relax. Sam said he'd talk to Billy, get Charlie over there. Your dad will be fine," she said, suddenly at my side and stroking my hair. "You've got to calm down." How was I supposed to calm down? I was freaking out. I grabbed a book from my nightstand and sat on the bed while Alice created a tornado of packing around me. As I opened to the first page of the book, a flash of lightening lit up the sky. I looked out of my window into the rain. My book fell to the ground forgotten as I darted out of my bedroom.

Jacob Black was standing in my backyard.

Jacob's POV

"Go away, Jacob. I don't want you here." Bella's voice taunted me wherever I went. I ran harder, trying to get it out of my mind, attempting to cut the ties that were trying to pull me back to Forks to the woman I loved—the woman who told me to leave. Did I really have to be tied so tightly? It was as if I had steel chains pulling me to her.

_Jake, come on. You need to come back._

_Screw you guys._ I thought. They had been trying for days to get me to come back but I didn't really want to listen to them. I didn't want them to know the pain that I was going through…but I knew they did. As long as we were in wolf form, my every thought was their every thought. Stupid fucking wolf senses.

I was somewhere in Canada when Sam's voice came over my thoughts. Sam hadn't been loud in my mind during this trip; he seemed to understand that I needed this. However, his words were clear now.

_Bella is in danger. Jacob, you have to come back, now. _His voice was stern, but I didn't hear his Alpha tone so I kept going.

What? How was Bella in danger? Was this a ploy?

_Italian vampires. You must come home. Protect your home. Protect your family and our future._

Italian vampires? Oh God. Bella. Fuck fuck fuck. She was in danger and I had run away, not telling her that I loved her or that she was everything to me. Without even knowing I was doing so, I turned back around and was running back to Washington as fast as possible.

As I ran, I listened to the voices of the others. Seth's was the loudest. I saw, in his mind, Bella's house. Why would he be there? I knew that they were still patrolling, but why were they by Bella's? Was she in danger? I heard everyone starting to tell me what was going on, but instead of dealing with that right away I tried to focus on Seth's voice. His mind was replaying a conversation with her. My heart broke at the sight of her tears.

Tears that I had caused.

"Tell him that I'm sorry. Tell him that I'm so, so sorry. And that I miss him," Bella's voice echoed through my head.

_Jake?_ Seth asked.

_What was that?_ I asked. My words quickly silenced everyone else's voices.

_She misses you. She loves you. She's so miserable. She cries all the time. You need to come back home and fix her,_ Seth said insistently.

_She told me she didn't want me there._

_She lied__,__ Jake. Haven't you ever lied?_ He knew I had.

"Tell him that I'm so, so sorry. And that I miss him."

_She misses me. Could she miss me as much as I miss her?_

_Yeah, dude. She does,_ Seth's voice rang out.

_Thank you, Sergeant Helpful,_ Leah's voice rang out. I barked a low laugh. _Jake, get your furry ass back here, you have a damsel in distress to save,_ she said. _What else is new?_

I chose to ignore Leah's asshole remarks and ran as fast as I could toward the Pacific Northwest. I finally reached Bella's house. I could see the truck sitting in the driveway and knew that the little vampire was inside, both from the ostentatious yellow Porsche parked behind Charlie's cruiser and from the stink emanating from the house. I stood there for a second, trying to catch my breath and figure out what I was going to say. Lightening lit up the sky and I heard Bella's gasp from inside her bedroom, followed by the sound of something falling and then Bella tripping down the stairs. She burst out the front door and came running to where I stood.

"Jacob…" she whispered.

Bella's POV

"Jacob…" I whispered, unable to believe he was finally here in front of me. So many things I wanted to say to him, so many things I need to say. Instead, I stood there in the rain, feeling it soak my cast and clothes, feeling it mat my hair to my face. I didn't care. Jacob was back! Despite the dark, I could see him standing there not looking at me. The rain coursed through his black hair, down his bare chest. I wanted to throw my arms around his neck, to press myself against him but I didn't think he'd want that.

"Bella," he said, finally bringing his eyes to mine. I was stunned to see the broken look in his eyes. I wondered if my own expression mirrored it.

"Jacob, I'm so sorry. I never meant the things that I said. I don't ever want you to be away again," I said, desperation creeping into my voice. I felt the warm tears mixing with the cold rain over my cheeks.

"I would never tell you who you can and can't be around, Bella. I just worry about you and your safety. You are everything to me, and what almost happened the other day…that would have killed me if that actually did happen. I can't live in a world where you aren't."

"Why did you leave?" I cried. "How could you leave me? How, when you know how I feel, and what it would be like for you to leave me? I need you, Jacob. I need you like I need oxygen. My life isn't right without you."

Jacob huffed, exasperated. "Bella, you told me to leave. I thought that was what you wanted. Even when it physically hurt me to be away from you, I stayed away because you told me to."

"I didn't mean that. I was just so mad at you," I said, wiping angrily at my tears. "The Cullens are my friends. All of them, Edward included. I love them like family. Telling me to stay away from them would be like me telling you to stay away from Quil, Embry and the rest of the pack. You can't do it. But I would try. If you really want me to, I will stay away from them; tell them never to come back. Because while I want to have them around, I _need_ you."

"I realize that you love them. And I know that they love you. But Bella, I'm not threatened with death every time that I hang out with Quil and Embry," he pointed out. This was true. "Even now, your life is in danger. Sam filled me in. I'm going to head home to pack, and then I'll meet you, Alice, and Jasper back here."

I nodded, happy knowing that he was coming with us. "Jake, I…"

"Bells, we don't have a lot of time. Let's talk about this later, okay? We'll have all the time in the world once we get where we're going." He shook his head and half grinned. "They may be a bunch of leeches, but the little one really loves you."

"She does. I trust her, Jake. You should too." A thought sprung to mind. "Jake, what about the pack? What are they going to be doing without you?"

"They have to stay here, to protect La Push. It will just be me and you, and the two bloodsuckers of course." I frowned at his use of the term but shrugged it off, just ecstatic that he was home. Instead, I mulled over what he had said.

"It physically hurt you to be away from me?" I asked.

"More than I ever thought possible," he admitted with a half smile coming over his face.

"Does it still hurt?" I asked.

"It does," he replied.

"Really?" I asked, surprised. I thought he would be fine. I knew that I was much better; it was as if the hole had closed back up as soon as I saw him.

"Really. I'm in a lot of pain. There's only one cure for pain this bad," he said, stepping up to me. I felt a warm shiver flow through my body as I looked up and into his eyes. Yes, maybe I was being stalked by vampires who wanted to either change me or kill me, maybe I was about to look death in the eyes and try to beat it, maybe I was a magnet for trouble. But for a moment, as the rain fell around us when he leaned down and kissed me, I didn't care about the maybes. There was one definite in my life, and that was that Jacob and I would always be together.


	18. Chapter 18

I want to say thanks to everyone who has stuck with me so far. Slow updates and well...crap writing in the first several chapters haven't stopped you. I'm thankful to have you guys, the ones who have kept me writing and have told me that this is a story worth finishing. So...thanks.

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Chapter 18-Bella

I never wanted to let him go, but Jake insisted that he had to go home to pack and wash off three days' worth of forest grime. The only thing that soothed me was his promise to be back before I could miss him. Didn't he realize that a moment without him was like an eternity?

Alice kept me distracted with packing and talking while we waited for Jake to return. Jasper was to pick the three of us up soon and we would head to wherever it was Alice planned to take us. I was curious to see what she had up her sleeve.

"Alice," I said as she paced in front of the picture window that overlooked the front yard.

However, Alice wasn't looking outside; she seemed lost in her thoughts. She had told me not to panic, but watching her pace made me a little ill. She looked over at me when I spoke her name and suddenly stopped her march.

"Sorry, Bella. Jasper will be here in approximately one minute. He had to get some paperwork, some money and such. Then we have to leave, as soon as possible. We have to get to the airport."

"Where are we going?" I asked. She hesitated.

"Brazil." Just then, a flash of brilliance lit up the black night sky, followed by a crack of booming thunder, shaking the windows.

"Why Brazil?"

"Um...long story. Oh, here's Jacob too," she said, and I hopped off the couch to watch him walk up the driveway. I thought back to the time when I had told him he was sort of beautiful. What was I thinking? This man was all kinds of beautiful; I had just been blinded by the perfection of Edward.

"Jacob," I breathed as he opened the door, coming straight for me and wrapping me in his arms.

"Come on, you were only gone for like fifteen minutes," Alice groaned. He grinned back at her.

"Sorry if we've just got more passion for each other than you guys do," he teased, kissing me hungrily. I heard Jasper's laugh behind us.

"Please," he said, wrapping his arms around Alice. "Let's not turn this into a pissing contest." Jake pulled his lips away from mine, and I took his hand. "We need to get going."

"Charlie?" I asked to no one in particular.

"My dad will call him in the morning; invite him for the weekend to the Clearwaters' fishing cabin. He'll be fine," Jake said, squeezing my hand reassuringly. I nodded, and then Jasper grabbed my bags. Jake slung his duffel bag over his shoulder and led me out to Carlisle's Mercedes.

"Carlisle thought Alice's Porsche would be too ostentatious," Jasper said at my confused expression. I laughed back at him, thinking that a Mercedes wasn't exactly modest.

"He doesn't know what he's talking about," Alice said sullenly. I patted her arm in sympathy, and then got in the car after Jake opened the door for me. As Jasper pulled out of the driveway, I glanced back toward my home, suddenly wondering if I'd ever see it again.

We boarded a five am flight in Seattle that flew us to Miami, landing at one in the afternoon. We spent the afternoon laid over, and my stomach started growling, despite my nerves making me feel ill. Jasper grabbed us some lunch and told me that I had to eat. I could hardly choke down my cheeseburger, but Jake devoured his twenty pieces of chicken nuggets plus two quarter pounders. He glanced over at me and wordlessly I handed him the rest of my burger and fries. Eating with him was giving me a complex.

I closed my eyes and relaxed against Jacob, even with the hard plastic of the chair digging into me. He wrapped his warm arms around my shoulder and I drifted off to sleep. The next thing I knew, I was standing underneath some strange looking structure, alone. I could hear Jake's agonizing howls and Alice's piercing screams, but I could not see them. I wanted to run to them, to find the cause of their horror. I heard the high-pitched giggle of Jane, and turned toward where I heard Jake's voice. I stepped in his direction, but my blood turned to ice and I stood frozen in fear at the sounds of swishing robes and quiet footsteps circling around me.

"Bella...Bella...Bella..." I heard them say in my head. My body was shaking from terror. I whimpered as I heard them coming closer. "Wake up, Bella," I heard, and my eyes flew open to meet Jake's own worried eyes. His hands were on my shoulders and I realized that it had been him shaking me.

"Jacob," I said, caressing his face. His beautiful face was concerned.

"Are you okay?" he asked. "You were freaking out in your sleep."

"Nightmares," I whispered. He nodded and held me closer. The attendant's voice came over the speaker, informing us that we would begin boarding our six o'clock plane. Jake helped me up and we followed Alice and Jasper onto the plane. Once settled, I closed my eyes again, welcoming sleep. I awoke to the pilot announcing we were fifteen minutes from landing, and it was a balmy seventy degrees at three o'clock in the morning in Rio de Janeiro. Jake hugged me close one more time, then sat up and took my hand. Once we had safely landed, Jasper led us out of the airport, laden with our bags. He hailed a taxi, and then the four of us crammed into the back. I was half sitting on Jake's lap. Funny, I never knew I was claustrophobic until I was stuffed in a backseat with two vampires, a werewolf, and four carryon bags, running from bad vamps who wanted me dead. I guess you learn things every day.

Jasper spoke quickly to the driver in what I assumed was Portuguese, and the taxi sped away from the curb.

"Jasper, you can speak Portuguese?" I asked. Alice laughed at me.

"Jasper can do many things," she said with a smile and a pat on her husband's hand. He grinned over at me.

"It comes in handy every now and then," he said good-naturedly. I tried to peer through the darkness at the city, but I had to give up. I couldn't see anything no matter how much I squinted.

"Oh no," Alice gasped suddenly. We all turned and glanced at her. "Pare o carro!" she screeched. The taxi came to a halt and we all turned to stare at her. She threw money at the driver and Jasper spat something at the driver, who looked terrified. Jasper and Jake grabbed our bags as Alice yanked me out of the seat and started dragging me behind her.

"What's going on?"

"They know we're here. They've found us! We've got to get out of here, now! Bella, move it," she commanded harshly.

I felt my face flame as I tried to focus on not tripping over my feet. I felt Jake's arms grab me and pull me into his chest. I wrapped my arms around his neck, clinging to him in terror. They were going to find us. They were going to kill us. All of us. This would be the last time Jake would hold me. We ran until we came into a clearing. I resisted the urge to look around and see where we were, choosing instead to stay where I was, inhaling the woodsy scent of my Jacob.

"I love you, Jacob," I whispered against his neck. "I've always loved you. I fought against every emotion I had for you until I just couldn't fight anymore." The words were difficult to voice around the lump in my throat. "I shouldn't have, Jake. I shouldn't have fought it, because we missed out on so much time. We could have had more and I'm so sorry." Warm, salty tears ran down my cheeks and soaked his shirt. "Please know that I love you. Always, Jacob. It will forever be you." His arms tightened around me as we stopped.

"You're talking like we're saying goodbye, Bells. I'm not going anywhere. But for what it's worth, it has always been you for me, too. That won't ever stop. Even if the world stops turning, it will always be you." He leaned his warm lips to my own damp ones and kissed me.

"I'm so sorry I brought you into this mess," I mumbled, breaking away.

"Bella Swan: Danger Magnet," he laughed. "I should've been warned about what I was getting myself into." I couldn't help but laugh with him, and at the irony of the situation. I never realized that fate could be so cruel. It wasn't fair that I had finally seen Jake truly was the one for me only to be unfairly yanked from him. "Bella," he said, and I met his dark eyes. "I would rather spend five minutes of my life in your arms, than have an eternity of not knowing what it feels like to hold you."

"How sweet," an eerily familiar voice rang out in the darkness.

I stiffened against Jacob, who hugged me tightly before putting me down and shielding me with his body. Jane's laugh rang out in the night. I could hear the sounds of footsteps and of robes swooshing like in my dream, and I grabbed at the back of Jake's shirt. I peeked around him to see eight shrouded figures walking underneath a tall stone structure. I searched my limited historical architectural knowledge and concluded that it was an aqueduct above us. Why did I even care? Focus, Bella. The Volturi guard finished their march and stopped about five feet from us. I peeked around Jacob's body to see who was here. Aro, Caius, and Marcus were at the forefront, while Chelsea, Jane, Alec, Demetri, and Felix followed closely behind.

"Going somewhere?" Caius spat with venom in his voice. Alice and Jasper stared back at him, saying nothing. "Another human who knows what we are? Tsk Tsk. Why can't you Cullens keep the secret? First, Edward tells the girl; now, there is another here in front of me. Do you not respect the secret?"

Jasper started to say something but Alice interrupted him. "It was a necessity to tell Jacob, just as it was a necessity to tell Bella. But they have assured us that they will not speak of it," she said, looking not at Caius but at Aro instead.

Without averting his eyes, he spoke to Jacob and me. "You have given them your assurances, but unfortunately, the Volturi are not as permissive as Carlisle and the rest of the Cullens. Bella, as you very well know, your knowledge of our secret means you must either become a vampire yourself, or you must die. I extended this offer because of what you mean to Edward. I cannot make the same offer to this new foul-smelling mate of yours." Jacob growled, and Jane's laugh rang out again in the dark.

"Did you just growl? What do you think you will do to him, human?"

"I'll rip his filthy bloodsucking head from his cold, dead body before I let him touch-" but his words were suddenly replaced by howls as he dropped to the ground, writhing in pain. His eyes rolled back and his body seized while Jane giggled under her breath.

"Stop!" I screamed shrilly. "Stop, he didn't do anything!" Aro finally moved his eyes from Alice to me. I pled with him silently, tears streaking down my cheeks. He searched my face, looking for something-what, I didn't know. "Please...he didn't do anything but try to protect me." He nodded, and then turned to Jane.

"That is enough," he commanded. Jake's screams were suddenly cut off and the silence was deafening. I dropped to his side, touching his face, his chest, just to check that he was okay, but he was already recovering. He was panting heavily, but he stood up and took my hand.

"Takes more than that to keep me down," he tossed at Jane, whose crimson eyes had widened. There were several hissing sounds behind the three leaders, but Aro held up his hand.

"Commendable, yes. But unfortunately, Jacob, both you and Bella have to die. We cannot have you human and knowing of our secret. You may have a slip-up, and we would be exposed. The Volturi works hard to keep our existence quiet; we do not want to be known. The chances of yet another person finding out are high, and we must stop the potential risk."

"There isn't any risk!" Alice protested.

"Aro may be fooled by your little predictions, but I won't be. This is unacceptable. The humans must die."Caius said to Alice before turning his sneer back to Jake.

"Oo, I want the girl," Jane cackled. "She'll be begging for death when I'm done with her."

"She won't, because she doesn't have to die," a silky voice interjected. I whipped my head around, and saw that Edward had stepped up, about ten feet from us. His hair was disheveled more so than normal and dark circles had formed around his sunken eyes. I squeaked his name in surprise, and unconsciously started toward him before realizing that I was held back by Jake's hand in my own.

"Edward? What are you doing here?" Jasper questioned, speaking for the first time.

"Edward, no. No...we can find another way," Alice pleaded. Edward's eyes focused on my own as he shook his head.

"She doesn't have to die. Neither does Jacob. Aro, if you will spare their lives and leave them human, I will do as you wish, and join the Guard."

"No," I mouthed. He held my eyes and nodded. Caius stepped forward, and Edward broke our gaze to glare at him in distrust.

"But why?" Caius was incredulous. "Why, when she obviously favors another enough to leave you?"

A look of pain and torment crossed Edward's perfect face. My chest was being torn open. How much could my heart take? Between my love for Jacob and the remaining love I had for Edward, I couldn't deal with all the pain I was putting myself through. Edward's eyes turned to me again, and he forced my favorite crooked smile across his beautiful lips.

"My love for her is so strong that I'd rather be with you and your Guard for my entire existence than live with myself for eternity, knowing that I stood back and watched her die." It was as if he and I were the only two people here instead of being surrounded by vampires and a lone werewolf. The feelings he had for me poured into his words and I felt them caress my soul. "Bella is the reason I am on this Earth. She is my life and I want her to have the best life possible, even if it is a life without me in it." There were so many things I wanted to say back to him, but I was unable to form the words.

"If we agree to this, and I do not agree to it yet," began Caius, "you must live like the rest of us do. We made allowances for Carlisle, but we will not make the same allowances so easily. You will be a complete member of the Volturi Guard, and participate as we do." Edward looked down at the ground, debating. His head rose and he looked Caius in the eyes.

"You have my word," he agreed.

"No!" I screeched. "No, no, no! Edward, you can't do this!" Breaking away from Jacob, I closed the short distance between us in record time, throwing myself into Edward's cold arms. He stood as still as the statue of David's Michelangelo that I so often compared him to. I wept against his chest, saturating his shirt with my briny tears.

"You have my word, but I want yours that you will allow Bella and Jacob to remain as they are," Edward directed at Aro. There was silence, save for my heaving sobs, while Aro pondered this.

"My word is yours," Aro conceded. "Jacob, Bella, I must have yours that you will never speak of this. If you do, we will find out, and you will be found and brought to justice."

I heard Jacob's voice, but not his words, and I nodded in ascent, not really sure of what I was agreeing to at that point, and not really caring. Edward finally draped his arm around my shoulder, holding me close to him. I fisted both hands in the cotton of his button down shirt, ignoring the protests of my broken wrist. "Well then. I believe that this is goodbye. Bella, Jacob, I wish you both long and happy lives. Edward?"

"Just a moment, please," Edward broke my grasp on his clothes and stepped up to Aro, touching the paper-thin skin of his bony hand. I stood shivering and sniffling where Edward had left me. Jake stepped up to me, not touching me, but being my rock of support. It helped...a little. I tried to calm myself, knowing that my reaction was hurting him, but I couldn't. Edward's decision to sacrifice himself for the two of us was killing me inside. I felt Jasper's stare as he sent calming waves my way, and the tears began to dry behind my eyelids.

"Very well, Edward. We'll meet you back in Volterra. Please do not delay longer than is necessary," Aro spoke with an air of authority not unlike the voice that Sam used when commanding the pack as an Alpha. Edward nodded, and we all silently watched as the Volturi disappeared into the darkness.

"What have you done?" Alice sighed, as she lowered her head into her hands.

"The only thing I could do. They were going to kill them. Plain as day. You could see that too." My head whipped up to stare incredulously at Alice. "And no, there was no way that we would have been able to beat them, even if Jacob had phased. Wasn't worth it. This is the better way," he said, stepping up to Alice and stroking her cheek. Her expression was broken as she looked at her favorite brother.

"You'll be alive, but you won't be ours anymore."

"I'll always be yours," he chided, then clapped Jasper on his back. "I'll be back when I can be. I trust that you will tell Carlisle and Esme what transpired here?"

"Of course," Jasper nodded in agreement. "They'll be heartbroken, you know."

"I know. But it must be done. Like I said, I'll be back as soon as possible." He hugged Alice and Jasper, talking quickly and quietly to the two of them while I stood awkwardly next to Jake, unable to look at him. Finally, he turned to the two of us.

"If it would be all right, I'd like to talk to Bella, privately."

"Fuck no," Jacob started. "Look, I get that you just sacrificed yourself for Bella and me and all. I understand that, and I appreciate it. But not even a week ago, you had her up against the wall at your house ready to kill her. So you'll forgive me if I'm not really down with that."

I watched as the two men I loved most in this life sized each other up. I put my hand on Jacob's arm.

"Jacob, I..." Edward said, his voice tinged with annoyance. I stopped him with a slight touch of my hand to my arm before I turned to Jacob.

"I'll go with him. I owe it to him. We owe him our lives. The least I can do is go with him."

"We won't go far. Within earshot, but far enough away to give us a little privacy?" Edward interjected.

Jacob ignored him and kept his eyes focused on mine. "You'll come back to me, right?" his voice cracked with the weight of the words as he turned to me. "You'll come back?"

I half smiled at him before touching his warm cheek. "Jacob, of course. Edward saved my life, but there would be nothing worth saving if you weren't in it. I'll be back," I said, staring into the depths of his eyes. He searched my face for confirmation, and then leaned down to press his warm lips to mine. I pulled away from him and looked toward Edward, who had pointedly looked away while Jake kissed me.

"We won't go far. Just down to the docks, if you want to meet us there." Jake nodded wordlessly, and then stepped away from me. Alice kissed her palm, and then blew it to Edward. He raised his hand to catch the kiss, and with a sad smile Jasper started leading Alice and Jacob away. I watched Jake glance back at us, despair etched on his face. A deep breath shuddered through me as Jasper's calm aura disappeared with their departure. Edward turned to me and held out his hand.

"Shall we?"

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A/N:

Guys, I'm really sorry that I did that. I didn't want to toss Edward to the Volturi, really, I didn't, but I needed a way to get them to leave Bella alone. And come on, it's Edward. That man knows how to get out of anything better than anyone. So be patient, my loves.

Next chapter is already with the beta, so hopefully it will be coming out soon. 3


	19. Chapter 19

I'm sorry that this has taken such a long time. I'm awful, I know, but really, nursing school is freaking hard and doing it while working, having two kids and a needy husband...my writing takes a back seat.

I've already written two more chapters and sent them to the beta. After that, I have two more chapters to write and the epilogue. We're almost done, y'all.

* * *

Chapter 19-Edward

Love Song Requiem-Trading Yesterday

I die each time you look away.

My heart, my life will never be the same.

As I lay on the ground staring at the moonless night, I pondered how I had gotten there. A couple of weeks ago, I had asked Bella to marry me, and she had said yes. It was the most memorable night of my entire existence, but there I sat, alone in Alaska, alienated from my family and friends, wondering where I had gone wrong.

I couldn't believe I had almost attacked Bella. I had been so angry with both her and Jacob that I couldn't see straight. He took what was mine, and she willingly gave it to him as if I had never mattered; maybe I hadn't. However, even if I had never mattered to her, she still meant everything to me. I should never have let my emotions get away from me like that. It physically hurt me to think that I could have hurt her or my family members. I relived the memories in my head, wincing as I watched Alice fly through the air and crash into the table, as I kicked Jasper in the stomach in an attempt to force him away, and as I felt Emmett's vice-like grasp on my shoulders. I could have killed them all in my state; both Bella and I were lucky for the interference of my family that day. My behavior had been appalling.

Bella…my motionless heart ached for her. Alice told me once that I would push her too far. My goal had always been and would always be to protect her. I never meant to push her away. I loved her, and I wanted to keep her safe. My life was meaningless without her. This was worse than when I had left her a year ago…I was the one who left her then. Now our roles had been reversed and the face I saw in the mirror was not unlike the expression on Bella's face that Jacob Black had shown me in his mind.

Jacob...I should have killed him when I had the chance. Even as I thought it, I knew I really didn't mean it. He made Bella happy. And if he was who she wanted, then who was I to deny her? I could deny her nothing. She told me she wanted babies, that she wanted to grow old. With me, these could not happen; life with me meant certain death. A shuddering sigh tore through my chest. I missed her. I missed everything about her. I heard the sound of steps approaching, and I dragged myself to a sitting position when I heard the thoughts of my father coming up behind me.

"Edward," he said, sitting down on the ground next to me.

"Carlisle." This was the first time I had seen him since the fiasco at our house. Was he upset with me? I could tell that he was uncertain of how to approach me. "I'm happy you're here." I managed to fake a half smile before giving up.

"You don't need to pretend with me, Edward. I don't have to read your mind to know that you are in pain. I'm sorry, son." He placed his hand on my shoulder.

"I miss her," I managed to choke out.

"I know, Edward. But you made the right decision, coming here."

"I want her to be happy. And safe. And Jacob Black can make her those things." I said with an air of finality. Carlisle stiffened.

_Or can he?_ He thought involuntarily. Oh no…

"Carlisle, what do you mean? Is something wrong?" I was instantly alarmed. What was he not telling me? He sighed before he began to speak.

"Alice had a vision that the Volturi already tired of waiting for Bella to be changed. When Jane went back to Italy and told them that she was human, they decided to take matters into their own hands. But we've got it covered. I sent Alice and Jasper to Bella's, so they could get her out of Forks. The wolves are expanding their protection to include Forks, as well as Charlie, because we knew Bella would be worried about him."

"Get her out of Forks? Where did they take her?"

"Edward…" But he could not hide the picture of the island in his mind. I gagged on the air.

"Why there?" I thundered. "Couldn't they have taken her anywhere else?" As soon as the words were out though, the anger began to subside, and all I could feel was a pang of sorrow that it was not I who took her there for the first time.

"I'm sorry, son. It was the only safe place I could think of," Carlisle apologized, a chagrin expression on his face. "Although, on our way here, Esme and I were intercepted by Demetri and Felix. They demanded that I tell them where Bella was, and I evaded, telling them that she was most likely with you, that the two of you had decided to take a vacation, what with the stress of the wedding and all. They were skeptical, but seemed to take what I told them at face value. Then, just as they were leaving, Felix doubled back and asked me what was in Brazil. I was momentarily shocked, but I hope that I recovered quickly enough. However, I'm not entirely sure that I did."

"They know where she is? Do you realize that when they see her with the dog and not me, they will kill her immediately? Have you let Alice know? When did they leave?"

"I don't believe they know where she is; I think they were just checking all the angles. When I called Alice to tell her about it, she told me their flight is at five." I checked my watch. I might be able to make it. I glanced wordlessly at my father. He nodded. "Go, son."

I did just that. When I arrived at the Seattle-Tacoma airport, I was disappointed to find that I missed their flight by about fifteen minutes. I cursed under my breath and went to the ticket counter. I was boarding a plane to Houston at eight, and then boarding another plane to Rio at six thirty to arrive in Rio at three fifteen in the morning. I just hoped I would make it in time.

Rather than take a cab or steal a car once I got to Rio, I took off at a run, no longer caring if anyone saw me. Heading toward the boat ramp, I listened for Alice and Jasper. I was shocked when I heard them stopped at the Carioca Aqueduct near Santa Teresa, talking with the Volturi. I immediately changed course, arriving just as Jane grinned at my beloved.

"Oo, I want the girl. She'll be begging for death when I'm done with her." Horror coursed through my body, and I stepped forward to speak.

"She won't, because she doesn't have to die."

"Edward," Bella squeaked. I heard the thoughts and voices of those around me, but disregarded them as I devoured Bella with my eyes. It was as if I was dying of thirst and she was a pitcher of fresh water. She made to step toward me, but stopped short when she realized that Jacob had a tight hold on her hand.

_You can't have her_, Jacob's voice said in my mind. I shook my head slightly, but enough that he'd realize I knew that.

"Edward? What are you doing here?" Jasper asked.

"Edward, no. No…we can find another way," Alice pled with me. I ignored her, choosing instead to focus on Bella's shocked face, and to speak only to her. If I did, maybe I wouldn't be afraid of the choice I was making.

"She doesn't have to die. Neither does Jacob." It pained me even to speak the name of the man whom Bella had chosen. "Aro, if you will spare their lives and leave them human, I will do as you wish, and join your guard."

"No." Bella's mouth moved, but no sound came out. I nodded at her, wondering if she knew what this was doing to me. Caius took a step toward me, and I turned my face to meet his. I couldn't trust them, not right now.

"But why? Why, when she obviously favors another enough to leave you?" He couldn't have said more honest or more pain-inducing words. I brought my eyes back to Bella's, so I could speak to her rather than the robed creatures surrounding us. Looking into her eyes, I could pretend that none of this had happened, and that she was mine once more. I forced a smile on my face so maybe I could alleviate her fears.

"My love for her is so strong that I'd rather be with you and your Guard for my entire existence than live with myself for eternity knowing that I stood back and watched her die." Tears started to run down her face, but she made no move to wipe them. Voices buzzed in my ears, but I chose instead to ignore them and continue. "Bella is the reason I am on this Earth. She is my life, even if the best thing for her is a life without me in it." A choking sound came from her chest as she looked back at me.

"If we agree to this, and I do not agree to it yet," began Caius. "You must live like the rest of us do. We made allowances for Carlisle, but we will not make the same allowances so easily. You will be a complete member of the Volturi Guard, and participate as we do."

I understood this. I would have to go against everything I had been taught by Carlisle, everything that I believed. I would become the monster again, consumed by my lust for blood. Was Bella worth it? There was no doubt in my mind.

"You have my word."

"No! No, no, no! Edward, you can't do this!" Bella wrenched her hand out of Jacob's grasp and threw herself into my arms. Jacob's voice in my mind spit horrible curses and death threats at me, but he couldn't hate me anymore than I hated myself. I couldn't allow myself to touch Bella. I didn't know if I would ever be able to give her back. She stood weeping against my chest, and I felt the dampness of her tears against my skin. I wanted to make everything clear to Aro though, so I spoke directly to him rather than at Caius.

"You have my word, but I want yours that you will allow Bella and Jacob to remain as they are." I listened to Aro's internal dilemma as he considered my words, trying to find a loophole. I shook my head at him, and he nodded in ascent.

"My word is yours," Aro conceded. "Jacob, Bella, I must have yours that you will never speak of this. If you do, we will find out, and you will be found and brought to justice." I wrapped my arm around Bella's shoulder, hoping that it would help with her pain; it instead only seemed to bring on more tears, though.

"Fine," Jacob spat, not breaking the staring contest we were engaged in. I couldn't even enjoy holding Bella again with his foul language spewing forth at me. I nudged Bella, and she nodded in agreement, but I wasn't exactly sure if she knew what she was agreeing to. Aro sighed happily; the sacrifice that I made would strengthen his guard even more than he had thought possible. "Well then. I believe this is goodbye. Bella, Jacob, I wish you both long and happy lives. Edward?" I couldn't say goodbye yet. I needed to talk to Bella…I needed to show her why I did this.

"Just a moment, please," I said, pulling my clothes gently out of the grasp that Bella had on them. I stepped up to Aro, touching the paper-thin skin of his bony hand. I conveyed my need to tell Bella my reasoning for choosing this. I couldn't just leave her like this. I heard Jacob move close to her, and I felt the sudden urge to kill him. Aro chuckled, and then said.

"Very well, Edward. We'll meet you back in Volterra. Please do not delay longer than is necessary." I nodded, and then watched them as they walked away before turning to the three people I loved most in this world, and the one person I would gladly kill without any remorse.

"What have you done?" Alice sighed, as she lowered her head into her hands. I could hear her angst at seeing my future in her mind. I winced. It wasn't a pretty picture.

"The only thing I could do. They were going to kill them. Plain as day. You could see that too." Her voice protested in my head. "And no, there was no way that we would have been able to beat them, even if Jacob had phased. Wasn't worth it. This is the better way." I stepped up to her and stroked her cheek.

"You'll be alive, but you won't be ours anymore." Her voice was broken, and I knew that if it were possible she would be weeping.

"I'll always be yours," I told her, then turned to Jasper. "I'll be back when I can be. I trust that you will tell Carlisle and Esme what transpired here?"

"Of course," Jasper agreed, nodding. "They'll be heartbroken, you know."

"I know. But it must be done. Like I said, I'll be back as soon as possible." I hugged my brother and sister, and gave them instructions on what to tell Carlisle and Esme, and what to do with my things. Alice clung to me, silently begging me not to go. I couldn't give her the thing she wanted most. Finally, I turned to where Bella stood, with tear-stained streaks down her beautiful face. Jacob stood behind her; thankfully, he was not touching her. I didn't know if I would be able to handle it at that point.

"If it would be all right, I'd like to talk to Bella, privately," I asked. Jacob glared at me, and I returned his stare.

"Fuck no. Look, I get that you just sacrificed yourself and all. I understand that, and I appreciate it. But not even a week ago, you had her up against the wall at your house ready to kill her. So you'll forgive me if I'm not really down with that."

Even as he spoke, his inner thoughts told me no, screamed it at me in his mind, telling me that she was his, and that even though I had done this for both of them, I'd never redeem myself in his mind. I had hurt her, over and over again, and what had happened at my house was the final straw. I wasn't worthy of her. Like I needed him to tell me that. I already knew it, from the very first day I had seen her.

"Jacob, I…" I started, unsure of what to say. You win?

Bella watched the two of us standing almost toe to toe, then touched Jacob's arm.

"I'll go with him. I owe it to him. I owe him our lives…the least I can do is go with him." My spirits lifted as I heard the despair take over Jacob's thoughts and spoken words, but I felt like I should say something.

"We won't go far. Within earshot, but far enough away to give us a little privacy?"

He completely ignored me. "What about me? Will you come back to me? What do you owe me?" I couldn't take joy from his words. They were the same words that I had asked repeatedly since Bella had left me.

"Edward saved my life, but there would be nothing worth saving if you weren't in it. I'll be back," she said, touching his face. I turned my head when Jake made up his mind to kiss her, and I tried not to focus on the feeling of Bella's lips in Jacob's mind. As they broke apart, I looked back at the two of them.

"We won't go far. Just down to the docks, if you want to meet us there in a while." Jacob nodded, and then stepped away from Bella and towards Alice and Jasper. Alice kissed her palm and blew the kiss to me. My chest constricted. This would be the last time I would see them as myself. I waved back at them as the trio looked away. I turned to see Bella watching them with evident despair on her face. Her shoulders shuddered with the effects of her deep breath. I held out my hand to her.

"Shall we?" She nodded, then stepped up to me and took my hand. It was as if all my pain disappeared when her skin met mine.

"Hi, Edward," she said with a weak smile through her watery tears. I smiled brokenly back at her, and cupped her cheek in my other hand.

"Hello, Bella. Shall we go? There isn't much time." She nodded again, and I led her to the main street, where we hailed a taxi that took us to the docks. We walked to where Carlisle had his boat stored for the occasions that the two of them came down here.

"Edward, where are we? Why am I in Brazil in the middle of the night?" she asked as I stepped onto the dock. I closed my eyes and took a deep breath before turning to her and holding out my hand.

"Well, you're in Brazil because Alice was looking out for you. Where we are right now are the docks on the coast of Rio de Janiero. This right here is Carlisle's boat." She took my offered hand and stepped onto the dock with an incredulous look on her face.

"Carlisle likes boats?" I nodded as I helped her onto the boat.

"The real reason you're in Brazil…we have a very secluded place off the coast. An island."

"An island? Like, a whole island?" she asked in amazement.

"Yes, a whole island. And…I didn't tell you about it, because the island is where I planned to spending our honeymoon. You were supposed to step foot on the island as Mrs. Edward Cullen; as my wife." I watched her expression change from wonder to sadness, before ending in guilt.

"Edward, I…" I pressed my finger against her lips and led her across the boat to sit down. The sun would soon be rising, and I wanted to be able to enjoy the last sunrise I would see with Bella. We settled on the seat, sitting close together without touching. I longed to wrap my arms around her, but I wasn't sure if she would let me.

"Bella," I quietly said. She looked at me, and tears started to fall from her eyes. She threw herself against me, great sobs heaving from her chest. "Oh, Bella." I gathered her into my arms and held her until her cries ceased.

"I'm sorry," she apologized, sniffling and wiping her face with her hands. "I didn't mean to cry all over you like that." Her tears made me consider kidnapping her and hiding the two of us somewhere where no pain would find us. Unfortunately, I was not the one she would want to be holed up with anymore. I stood up and walked to the edge of the boat.

"It's fine," I assured her. I looked over the waves; the sky was beginning to brighten. She stepped up next to me and took my hand.

"Why did you do it, Edward?" she asked softly. The wind shifted and I smelled the scent of werewolf. Jacob was here. I sighed.

"Bella, you are my life. You have been my reason for being here, on this Earth. I can't say that I've loved you since the first day I saw you, but I knew very early that I did. Alice told me that I would love you, and I fought it so hard. A pointless battle. I couldn't avoid you; you were already ingrained in my life." We were lost in our thoughts while we watched the sun rise over the ocean.

"It is beautiful here," she said as she leaned against me, clearly oblivious to Jacob's presence.

"It's all right," I answered. "But I wouldn't use the word beautiful. Not with you standing here in comparison." She blushed. "Bella, I wanted to bring you here for our honeymoon so we could have some real private time to ourselves. Unfortunately, that isn't going to happen, so you'll forgive me if I'm taking advantage of the things that could have been. This time that we're sharing right now…I can pretend, if only for a little while, that you're still mine. I love you, Isabella. I will always love you. Even if you don't love me in return…" I trailed off. She stepped back, with fire in her eyes.

"Don't ever say that!"

"Say what?" I asked, startled at her sudden change of emotions.

"That I don't love you. Obviously, you don't think very highly of me, Edward. I do love you. I love you more than I should. I should try to get over you, I shouldn't have come here with you alone, but I can't help myself. You have this pull on me, and so does Jacob. I love you both. When I'm with him, I love him and want to be with him. When I'm with you, I love you and want to be with you. But when I'm with you, he's always in the back of my mind. That's how I know I'm supposed to be with him. But Edward, I argue with myself every morning when I wake up, wondering if I made the right decision."

"How do you know that you have?" I wondered aloud, unable to stop myself. She ran her hand over my cheek and half-smiled.

"Every night before I go to bed, I am assured that I made the right decision. He's good for me, Edward. And I'm good enough for him. I never felt good enough for you. I've spent this past year and a half wondering what you see in me. But when I'm with Jacob…I can see it." I turned away from her. I couldn't deal with her openly declaring her love for him, even if she was still declaring love for me. I needed her. Couldn't she see that? Jacob was all puffed up with pride over Bella's words, but I was dying inside. No need for the Volturi, Bella Swan could kill me with her words.

But even still, I had made the conscious decision to sacrifice my existence so that both she and Jacob would be happy and healthy. So she could live a normal human life—without me. I fell to my knees, suddenly weak. I didn't know if I could do this. Bella knelt in front of me.

"Edward, just because most of me chooses him, that doesn't mean that there isn't a part of me that loves you and wishes I would come to my senses."

"I wish you would too," I whispered, my face in my hands. She put her hands on either side of my face and tilted it up so I could look at her. She gazed into my eyes for a long moment before she leaned into me. My breath caught in my chest as her warm lips touched my cold ones. Jacob's voice in my head was silent in shock.

I tried to keep my mouth motionless so I wouldn't scare her, but I couldn't resist. I kissed her back with reckless abandon, somehow knowing that this kiss wasn't a re-opening, but rather a closing on this chapter of my life. Bella wasn't choosing me, she was letting me go. She fisted her hands in my hair, and I pulled her onto my lap. Her tongue ran across my lips and I had to remind myself that I couldn't do the same, no matter how much I wanted to. I ran my fingers through her sweet smelling hair, over her beautiful skin, knowing that I was truly saying goodbye to everything about Bella, my love for all eternity.

* * *

So like I said, I'm finishing the last couple of chapters, then I will be working on finishing Heart in a Headlock. Megan and I will be continuing to work on Anger Management, it is our baby and we enjoy writing it immensely.

After that I'm planning on venturing over to the vamp side for a little while, mostly because I've fallen in love with Jackson Rathbone and I want to try out my own Jasperella.

Thanks for sticking with me. Y'all are great.


	20. Chapter 20

wow, two updates in a short amount of time?

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Chapter 20-Bella

I kissed Edward with an unexpected fervor. I needed to feel him against me, needed the sweet taste of him on my taste buds. I needed to wrap myself around him like I would never let him go, even though we both knew I had to. He stroked his long, nimble fingers over my skin and through my hair, as if he was committing the moment to memory.

I felt the newly risen sun warming my skin, erasing the goose bumps that had appeared on my flesh from Edward's cool fingers. I opened my eyes, watching his skin shimmer in the dawn's early light. Then, as I realized this would be the last time I'd be able to watch him, the pain forced them tightly closed again. I held his face close to mine, gripping his hair so that he wouldn't break away…even though I knew he could break the kiss like delicate china against a hardwood floor had he wanted to. Tears spilled over my lids yet again, coursing down my cheeks as I sobbed against Edward's lips.

This could have been different. This could have been my future. I could have spent the rest of my life in Edward's arms, hearing his beautiful voice, watching his flawless features, forever wondering if I was truly good enough for his perfection. Instead, I had chosen with a life with Jacob, my sunlight, my hope for a real life, the future father of my children, the man I wanted to die holding onto. I loved them both. I had known that, of course. I had known it from the time Jacob had kissed me outside of the tent. But this was the end. It was undeniably the end of Edward and me, there was no going back now. I felt my chest explode as my heart broke into two. The pieces were like a pair of best friend necklaces and each person had a half…but I wondered if I would ever be able to put the pieces together again to form a whole.

I finally broke the spontaneous kiss, and I wept against him—wept for our lost future, for what he would be missing out on now that he was becoming one of the Volturi. He held me against him, muttering a string of words, so fast that I couldn't catch them all. It still comforted me nonetheless. The tears finally ebbed and he picked me up from the floor of the boat. Wiping the tears from my eyes, I saw the hulking silhouette of a man sitting on a bench nearby. Jacob. I felt a flash of pain…he knew that I had kissed Edward. I could only imagine the pain he was going through, and it made my heart heavy with the weight of it. Edward helped me out of the boat and as he let go of my hand, the realization hit me. This was it. It was time for Edward to go, and I began to panic.

I stopped dead in my tracks. "No, Edward. No. Let's just…stay here. We'll run. We can stay together, you and me. They'd never be able to find us. And we'd be safe…and happy…and, and…"

"Bella," he interrupted, with his crooked smile. "I'm not the one you want. You made your choice. You just told me that a little while ago.

"What if I chose wrong?" I blurted. The audible choking sound from behind me created a deep fissure that cracked my heart in two. What was I doing?

"You didn't, Bella. Jacob makes you happy. He loves you, maybe even more than I do. You deserve to live, Bella. I saved your life because I believe your life is worth living. Take care of it. Let me go to Italy knowing that you're happy. I won't be able to survive thinking that you're suffering." I threw my arms around him and buried my head against his neck, trying to compose myself. He took a deep breath and I looked up when he began speaking.

"Promise me you'll take care of her. Do whatever you must to make her happy. She deserves to be happy, and you are the one who makes her so. She loves you, more than she loves me. She needs you. Love her enough for both of us." I turned to see Jacob trying to regain his composure as he nodded.

"Bella," Jake said uncertainly. He held out his hand, but still I hesitated to loosen my grip on Edward. This would be the last time I'd feel the cool marble of his chest, the last time I'd smell his sweet scent, the last time I'd see the crooked smile.

"Bella," Edward's voice was more firm this time. "It is time. I have to go, and so do you." I clung to him for one more minute as I watched what could have been my life flash through my eyes. Marriage to Edward, a honeymoon on the island, a life of immortality with some of the people I loved most in this world would have been wonderful.

However, it wasn't what I had chosen. I had chosen a life with Jacob, my sun, my reason for being.

Even as I clung to Edward, I knew he was right. He wasn't the one I had chosen. I could, and would, go on without him. I did love Jacob. I loved Edward too, I loved them both, but for different reasons. However, when I stepped back and really looked at the situation, I knew Jacob was the one I couldn't live without. I didn't want to live without Edward in my life, but I knew I could.

I unclenched my hands from the front of Edward's tear soaked shirt, and my broken wrist practically sighed in relief from the action. I hadn't noticed the pain until then. Hoping that Jake would forgive me, I got on tiptoe and pressed my wet and salty lips to Edward's for the last time.

"I will always love you," I promised. He nodded, apparently too choked up to speak. I knew that if he could cry, tears would be spilling from his golden eyes, adding to the ones falling from my own brown ones.

"Bella," Jake whispered again. I looked at Edward one final time. My eyes devoured him, wanting to memorize every part of him from his rumpled copper hair, to his perfect features, his marble lips, and his beautiful eyes, full of love for me. I steeled my spine, and turned away from Edward, tripping through my tear-clouded eyes to the arms of my Jacob. I couldn't watch Edward leave. I just stayed there in his arms for a very long time.

"Jacob…" I croaked out, my throat sore from the crying. "Alice?"

"She and Jasper are back at the hotel. Do you want to go back there?" His voice was gentle, but I could hear the hurt simmering under the surface. I nodded. In response, he took my hand and started to lead me down the docks toward a nearby hotel.

He was silent as we walked hand in hand, apparently unable to speak. I stayed silent as well, and the thought of the pain I was putting him through started to hit me. I had been the one who put that pain there, but I couldn't address it right now. Still, the thought of my selfishness sent me into another round of tears, and I buried my head in his shoulder.

"Oh, Bella," he sighed, and lifted me into his arms. I buried my face into the soft cotton of his gray shirt and breathed in his woodsy scent as he carried me into the hotel and stopped in front of a door, knocking quietly. The door opened, and I lifted my head to gaze into Alice's sad golden eyes.

"Jacob, let me take her," she said, already putting her hands on my waist. Jake hesitated, and then put me down. I let Alice lead me into their suite. She wrapped her arm around my shoulder and we sat down on the couch. Jasper stood up from where he had been seated.

"Jacob, let's go get the two of you some breakfast. I'm sure you're starving," he suggested.

"No, I need to stay with Bella," Jacob protested.

"She'll be fine here with Alice." Jasper's voice was firm. "She's going to need some food." Jacob nodded and stepped up to where I was seated, and then knelt in front of me.

"Is that okay with you, Bells?" I nodded silently. I knew he wanted me to speak to him, but I couldn't. He stared into my eyes, then nodded in agreement and stood up, kissing my forehead before turning and following Jasper out the door. I stood and took a step forward, staring at the door that Jacob had closed quietly behind him.

I felt an uncontrolled anger pool in the pit of my stomach. Why was I stupid enough to let people walk away from me when I needed them? Why couldn't I just say "I need you"? I had needed Edward's support after Jasper's accident on my birthday, but he left, and I hadn't put up much of a fight. I had needed Jake to stay with me during the fight with the newborns, but he left, again with barely a fight from me. And I needed him now, but he'd just taken my nod at face value. I was so stupid!

The rage bubbled inside as I considered how unfairly everyone in my life treated me...including myself. It was almost as if they didn't think I could do anything myself. As if I was something that needed constant care because I couldn't be held responsible for my actions. What made me the angriest was that I eventually believed it too. Oh, an angry pack of vampires after me? I'll just let my friendly vampires take care of that. I'm sad over my first love leaving? Let my best friend deal with that, because I can't handle it. The fury spilled over and I whipped around to meet Alice's startled expression.

"How could you let him do this? You SAW what he was going to do. He just fucking sacrificed himself so that I wouldn't be killed. That's fucking Edward for you, the eternal do-gooder, and the stand-up guy that you can always count on. You saw this, Alice! As soon as he made the decision to find us, you would have seen this. You would have known. You'd have known that he was going to offer his services to Aro, but yet you let him do it anyway. How can you call yourself his sister?" Her head, which had dropped into her palms, whipped up when I said that final sentence.

"How can I call myself his sister? Well, if that isn't the pot calling the kettle black. You want to go there? Fine. How can you say that you're in love with him? How do you allow yourself those tears that are drying on your face, when you're the one that abandoned him? When you're the reason he had to do this in the first place? You're the one who couldn't stay away from Jacob Black. You're the one who chose to leave Edward."

But he chose to leave me first, I thought to myself. I just hadn't been able to get over that. He had left when the going got tough, and I was stuck in a half-life, until Jacob had brought me out of my funk. Jacob saved me, brought me back so I could be as close to normal as possible when Edward came back. And then I had just brushed him aside without any explanation or any thanks.

I would spend the rest of my life making it up to him. But thanks to Edward, both Jacob and I had lives to live. We would be able to fight, make up, and then fight again.

"I am the one who chose to leave Edward. You know the reasons why, so I don't have to tell you. I can't say that I'm in love with him, Alice," I insisted. Her eyes widened. "Because I'm not. Not anymore. I love him. Very much. But I'm not in love with him. He's my first love, he changed my life…but he isn't the love of my life. Jacob is, and that's why I can't stay away from him, no matter how hard I try. I love him, Alice. I love him more than I ever thought possible. I want to spend my life, the life that Edward sacrificed himself for, being the best woman I can be for Jacob."

The door to the room opened, and in walked Jasper and Jacob, laden with bags of food. "What's going on here?" Jasper asked, concern evident in his voice as he took in the mood of the room and the expressions on both Alice's face and mine.

"There is nothing going on here, Jasper. Nothing at all. And we're leaving. Right now," Alice said, standing up and avoiding my eyes. "I'll get my things and wait for you in the lobby." She whipped into the bedroom and out the door in a flash. Jasper gaped after her, and then regained his composure.

"What did you say to piss her off that much?" I started to speak, but he interrupted me. "You know what? Maybe I don't want to know. I should go after her. There are plane tickets over there on the table along with some cash so you can get home. The hotel room is paid through until tomorrow morning. You should both probably get some sleep. It's been a long night for both of you."

He turned to me. "Bella, even though I know you will, because that's who you are, try not to over think all of this. Edward did this because he loves you. He wants what's best for you, and that's Jacob." He stepped up and wrapped his arms around me. I hugged him back before stepping away.

"Thanks, Jasper," I said, putting my hands in my jean pockets awkwardly. "Tell her that I'm sorry."

"She's not really mad at you. She just needs to lash out at someone, and you're here." I half-smiled at that. I always would be. With a wave, Jasper shut the door, leaving Jake and I standing in the living area of Jasper and Alice's suite. I brought my eyes to him. He was standing motionless in the middle of the room, still holding the bags from the food run.

"Here, let me take that," I said, stepping up to him and taking the bags away from him to set them on the coffee table. "You know, Jasper was right. I'm exhausted. I'd really like to lie down for a little while. Will you come with me?"

"Bells, I…"

"Please Jake? I just…need to feel your arms around me." He sighed, and led the way to the bedroom, stripping his shirt off and kicking his shoes to the side before pulling the blankets down. I forced a smile at him as I shed my own shoes and snuggled up close to him, the heat of his body warming me from the outside in. I laid there with his arms around me, trying to figure out what to say to him. How could I explain myself? Would I explain that the kiss he had seen between Edward and I didn't mean what he thought it meant?

"Jacob, what happened today, I'm sorry. I shouldn't have done that. But you know, what Edward and I have—had—it's complicated. And I never meant to hurt you. It was more like a…Jacob?" I asked. His breathing was deep, and a soft snore emitted from his mouth. He was asleep. I rolled my eyes. Of course. I turned to the side and closed my eyes, willing myself to sleep.

I woke up cold. The room had grown dark; the sun must've gone down recently. Without the heat of Jacob on my skin, goose bumps rose on my arms, and I rubbed my hands against them as I sat up and looked around. The room was silent, still in the evening hours. I got up and walked out to the main room, and heard the shower running in the bathroom.

I quietly stripped off my clothes and opened the door. I could see the rippled muscles of Jake's back through the fogged glass door. I pulled open the glass door of the shower and stepped into the shower with Jake. He turned and a startled gasp fell from his lips.

"Bells?" he choked. Feeling daring, I pressed my body against his.

"You weren't there when I woke up. I was cold." I stood on my tiptoes and wrapped my arms around him, taking care not to get my cast wet. I don't know why…it was already ruined from all my fun excursions. He closed his eyes and brought his forehead to mine.

"I thought I had lost you all over again. I thought you were going to leave me and be with him."

"Jake…"

"I saw you kiss him," he said, wincing at the picture in his head. "I saw you lean in and kiss him. It burned me up inside, seeing the lips you kiss me with on his cold, dead lips. I saw the arms that you hold me with wrapped around his body." He opened his eyes, a tortured expression on his face. "And it killed me, Bella. I was about ready to tell you to go to him, you were crying so hard."

"I was crying pretty hard," I admitted. "A small piece of my heart just died. I can survive living without a little piece of my heart; I can't survive without my whole heart. And Jacob Black, you are my heart. I kissed him yes, but it wasn't the way I kiss you. I was kissing him goodbye. When I kiss you, I'm greeting the rest of my life, knowing and reveling that you'll be the only one I ever kiss again. ." He

He stared at me for a long moment, beads of water splashing onto his face. "Yes. Yes, you are." With that, he lowered his mouth to mine, kissing me with passion, his lips taking possession over mine, claiming them as his own again. I ran my hand through his hair as he kissed me, and then pulled back to trace a bead of water down the side of his face. I moved my finger and replaced it with my tongue, trailing it from his neck down his chest. His sharp inhalation indicated that I was doing something right, so I traced my fingers over his toned stomach as I kissed his chest.

He brought his warm fingertips to my chest, tracing the arch of my breasts before stroking to the stiff peaks waiting for them. I moaned against him and brought my lips hungrily back to his as I started the ascent down his stomach with my hand. He turned me and backed me up to the tiles of the shower before lowering his mouth to my breast. My eyes rolled with the pleasure of it, immediately feeling weak in the knees.

I started getting nervous when he knelt in front of me and began pressing kisses to the inside of my thigh. His fingers trailed up to my center, and he hesitated for only a second before sliding his finger into me and flicking his tongue over my folds.

Holy Mother of God. The world exploded at the feel of his mouth on me. He brought my leg up and around his shoulder as his tongue danced over me. I grabbed a handful of his hair and balanced against the wall of the shower. He stood up and grabbed my hips, picking me up and wrapping my legs around his waist as he moved to my waiting entrance.

"Please, Jacob," I whispered, looking into his deep brown eyes. "Please, I need to feel you inside me."

"I love you, Bells," he whispered back as he filled me. I cried out my pleasure with each thrust, running my hands over his water-slickened back, kissing his neck and chest. I gripped his hips with my thighs and the sounds of my moans filled the bathroom as I neared my release.

I cried Jacob's name over and over as I came around him, and I could hear his deep breathing in my ear and his groan as he came as well. He held me there, panting his warm breath against my skin. The water was starting to grow cold, but in Jake's arms, I could hardly feel the temperature difference.

He tightened his hold on me before setting me down so he could adjust the temperature of the water. "I'm sorry, Bella. I know that you've been through a lot today. I should've given you some time to think about everything that happened before I forced myself on you."

My temper flared. "Jacob, I'm the one who came in your shower and pushed my naked body against yours. You didn't take advantage or force yourself on me. God. And I don't need time to think. I made my decision. I want to be with you."

He searched my face for a long moment while my short-lived anger melted, before wrapping me in his arms and whispering quietly, "I hope you remember that once we get home."

I sighed. _I hope I do too_.

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if anyone cares, i listened to Rufus Wainwright's "Hallelujah" a lot during this whole section of chapters from 17-20. it makes me sad, and that's what i needed in this chapter.


	21. Chapter 21

We're getting close to the end, y'all! Two more chapters after this and then the epi. They're already all done and at the beta, so as I get them back, they'll be posted.

Thanks to mybrandofheroin for being my beta and the one who keeps me sane. Thanks also to Hopeful Wager for being an awesome validation beta. And thanks to ysar for just being all around awesome.

Thanks for sticking with me on this amazing ride. You all mean so much to me.

* * *

Bella

Coming back home to Forks was surreal, to say the least. It seemed the closer I got, the worse I felt. I could feel the hysteria bubbling up, but so far I had managed to keep it inside. Embry had come to pick us up at the airport in Port Angeles, and I had spent the entire trip half-listening to the two of them carrying on about some basketball team. I watched as the trees passed through the passenger side window and felt Jake's hand touch my thigh. I turned to him and forced a half-smile. He looked concerned, but he had told Embry that he didn't want to talk about what had happened in Brazil until he dropped me off, because he was afraid it would upset me. I was relieved in a way-I didn't know if I could go through the events again, detail by agonizing detail.

We turned onto my road and pulled up to my house. I mumbled a goodbye to Embry and went to the trunk to grab my suitcases.

"Let me get these," he said quietly. "I'll walk you inside." I nodded mutely and led the way up the stairs, unlocking the door and stepping inside.

"You can just leave them here," I whispered. "I have to do laundry anyway." He looked like he wanted to argue, but instead did as I asked.

"I need to go home and talk to everyone about...what happened. Are you going to be okay here?"

"Of course I will. You go. Talk to them. I'll be all right." He stared at me for a moment before leaning down to kiss me softly on the cheek.

"I love you, Bells. I'll be back as soon as possible." With that, he strode out the door, shutting it behind him and leaving me alone. I sighed and started up the stairs to the bathroom, wanting to shower and get all the grime from being in an airplane off of me.

After starting the shower and peeling off my clothes, I stood under the spray of water, letting the beads trickle down the sides of my face as I tried not to think about anything at all. I counted the tiles around me as I shampooed my hair. I sang "Living on a Prayer" as loud as I could while rinsing off and I drew smiley faces on the mirror as I dried myself. Gazing at the grief-stricken expression on my face in the mirror, I knew that no amount of false cheerful singing or smiley faces was going to help me.

I threw on the tank top and pajama pants that were hanging on the back of the door and started towel-drying my hair as I walked into my bedroom. Everything was exactly where it had been the day Alice came and told me to pack my bags. My bed was still unmade, a shirt that Alice had rolled her eyes at was still lying over the back of my desk chair, and the book that had fallen from my hands when Jacob had walked into my backyard was still on the floor.

I couldn't do this. I needed to see if they were still here, I needed to apologize for what happened. As I thundered down the stairs, I briefly considered calling Jacob to tell him where I was going, but decided it was better not to. He'd want to come with me, and this was something that I needed to do alone.

Tears rolled down my cheeks as I drove, going over things that I could say to the Cullens to help them with their pain. I had to let them know I didn't ask Edward to do this, that I did love him, but that I just happened to love someone else more.

The house seemed deserted when I arrived. I turned off the car, listening to the clicks of the engine as it began to cool. What was I doing there? I covered my face with my hands. It could only hurt them more, seeing me here instead of their son. I knew I should go. As I moved my hands from my face to start the car, a light tap sounded at the window next to me.

I jumped and whipped my head over to see what was there. I exhaled deeply when I saw Carlisle on the other side of the glass. He opened the door for me, and as I slid out of the seat, he enveloped me into a hug.

This only brought on more tears. I had come to comfort him and his family, and here he was, comforting me.

"Come inside, Bella," he quietly urged before leading me up the stairs and into the house. "Let's take you into my office. That cast has seen better days and you've still got a few weeks left before your arm will be healed. Let's put a new one on and I'll explain some things to you."

I nodded as I wiped the tears from my face and followed his lead into his office. My heart was saddened at the sight of all the moving boxes half-filled with Carlisle's books. He directed me to sit in one of the easy chairs and I waited patiently for him to gather his things. He knelt in front of me with a small saw.

"This won't hurt; however, it will feel very warm against your skin. Try not to move," he said as he turned the small handsaw on and started to take off my cast. Once finished, he took off all the wrappings and began to start my new one.

"Bella, Esme and I don't blame you in the slightest for what transpired in Brazil. It is devastating to our entire family; however, it seems to have hit Alice the hardest." His voice was reassuring as he casted my arm. "Edward was her rock, the person who made her feel as if she was completely normal. He is more than her brother; he is her very best friend, the other piece of her brain. She's mourning the loss of him right now and doesn't know how to deal with it in the correct way, so she's letting her anger out through you." He used a pair of scissors to cut through the fiberglass and secured it to my arm, running his hands over the cast to make sure it was correct.

"What she's doing isn't right, but it's the only way she can deal with it. She'll come around and feel absolutely awful, and you can decide then whether you can forgive her or not. But know that Edward knew exactly what he was doing. He was doing this as a final gift to you, and as a gift to himself as well. Being away from three very happy and in love couples makes it a little easier for him to handle not having you. I understand where he's coming from, Bella. So don't blame yourself, there's no point." He stroked my cheek and then led the way back to the living room.

"I can't help it," I whispered.

"Edward would do anything for you, just as I would do anything for Esme. If being with someone else makes you happy, then that's what he wants. Going to the Volturi will be an eye-opening experience for Edward, in many ways. I don't think all of them will be bad."

"But they're...they're..." I couldn't think of how to describe the evil that was the Volturi.

"Bella, you seem to think that the Volturi are unscrupulous . That isn't exactly the case. They're there to maintain order in our world, much like the President of the United States. Someone has to do it, and not all vampires are as civilized and discreet as we are."

"But they wanted him to..."

Carlisle interrupted me. "Yes, they want him to feed like a normal vampire. Aro hopes that feeding on humans will enhance Edward's power and bring out more gifts. Edward is curious enough to want to find out, too."

"So, you're still leaving?" I asked, unsure of how I felt about this.

"Yes, we're still leaving. Rosalie and Emmett left yesterday. They were headed to Russia, I think. Alice and Jasper didn't come back, but Jasper called me to say they were heading to see Peter and Charlotte. They all need time to grieve on their own, but they'll be back to us in time. Esme left a couple of hours ago to work on the renovations for our new home just outside of Portland. We'll be far enough away that the wolves can start aging again, but close enough that we can be here if you should ever need us. And Bella, you need to remember that we need you just as much as you need us, if not more." He kissed my forehead and we started to walk outside toward my truck.

"I bought you this," he said, handing me a box. I opened it to find a new phone inside. Before I could protest, he added, "I know you'll try to give it back, but it's so you can contact us whenever you need us. You're on our family plan, and all of our phone numbers are plugged in there, including Edward's... just in case. I doubt you've seen the last of him. He'll want to see how his sacrifice is doing." He kissed my forehead and opened the door to my truck before helping me to sit inside.

"I want you to know that I couldn't love you more than if you were my true daughter, Bella. Be safe. Let Jake love you. Love him. Love life, and become someone. We'll always be here for you." He closed my door and I started the truck and pulled away, watching his reflection in my rearview mirror as I drove off.

I drove aimlessly along the streets of Forks, not wanting to go home but having nowhere elseto go. I considered going to the beach, but I really didn't want to go to La Push and face Jacob. He'd know that I had been crying and I was sure he'd been through enough heartache without me adding to it.

Finally, after an hour I decided that with gas prices the way they were, I couldn't afford to keep driving around. I slammed the door to the truck before sluggishly walking up the stairs to the house. I waved to our neighbor as I let myself inside. I grabbed a glass of milk and some cookies, then went upstairs to my room.

I knew as soon as I opened the door that someone had been in there, with hardly a look around. I could smell a difference, and the window was open. Nervously, I lifted my eyes and looked around. The glass of milk fell at my feet when I realized what was different in my bedroom.

I stepped forward, taking in the sight of pictures that I didn't even know existed. Photos from my birthday, pictures of Edward holding me close, of me playing chess with Jasper, of Esme holding me in her arms-all pictures from days I had spent at their house and they were all scattered around my room, some in frames and others tacked to my walls.

Who had done this? Had Edward come back and done this to torment me with my decision? No, it couldn't have been him. Turning to my bed, I noticed an envelope. I opened it and read the letter tucked inside. The freaking waterworks started again as I read the letter carefully a second time

Why? Why couldn't I just be left alone to deal with this in peace rather than have my decision thrown in my face? It wasn't as if I had a choice. My life was with Jacob now. With him was where I belonged.

A wave of emotions hit me like an out of control Mack truck. Hysterical sobs racked through my body and I cried harder than I ever had before. I raced out of my room, away from the pictures and the memories of the family that I would be missing. The woods brought comfort to me; they gave me a place to scream as loud as I needed to, they provided me rocks to throw when the aggression began to show. Finally, the tears returned and I curled up on the ground like I did when Edward left me the first time. Edward...

In the midst of my tears, I was suddenly aware that I wasn't alone. Feeling a bit afraid, I tried to look up, but couldn't see through my tears. I heard a sigh as I was lifted into strong, warm arms and carried into the house, up the stairs to my bedroom.

"Jake," I croaked out, still not able to see through the water that kept leaking out of my eyes.

"No," the voice said. "It's me, Seth." He set me on my bed and knelt down to help take my shoes off.

"What are you doing here?" I asked as he pulled my sneaker off.

"I ran over here from the Rez after we had our meeting. I wanted to see how you were doing."

I sighed. "I'm not doing very well at all. Look around you, Seth. Look what she did." I rolled onto my stomach and buried my face in my pillow. The thought of sleep was inviting... If I slept I wouldn't have to deal with seeing Alice's reminders. I felt the weight of the mattress lift as he got up and heard him walking around the room.

"Who did this?" he asked.

"Alice," I replied, my eyelids becoming heavy. "I went to the Cullens' house, talked to Carlisle. They were here when I got home, along with a letter. It says that she hopes I realize everything I just gave up. It says that she couldn't tell me, that she had to show me. That I need to realize I was the reason Edward had to give this up, too." Tears started flowing over my cheeks again. "Seth, I never expected, never wanted Edward to make this decision. I'm not worth it."

"Oh, Bella," he chided, wrapping his arms around me. I began to sweat against him where his skin touched mine, but hugged him back as I sobbed against the hard muscles of his chest. He was silent for several minutes, long enough for me to fall into the dazed phase just before sleep.

His voice was quiet in the silence of the room. "Bella, while she may have meant to hurt you with these, it doesn't have to hurt. They're just pictures, after all."

I wanted to reply to him, to tell him that they weren't just pictures, but I couldn't. Blackness enveloped me before I could even formulate the words to thank him for finding me.

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Chapter End Notes:

Make sure to follow me on twitter (beckiey8) to receive updates and all that fun stuff. You may or may not also get play by plays on Saturdays if I'm cheering for Michigan or on Sundays when I'm cheering for the Colts. What can I say? I love football.


	22. Chapter 22

Chapter 22

Jacob

After I met with the pack to tell them what had happened in Brazil, I realized that I hadn't changed my clothes in three days and that I smelled pretty rancid. So I headed home, talked to Billy for a little while, and then headed in for a shower.

As the water washed over my body, I thought about the past several days. Coming back to Bella was great; she was everything I needed. I was even okay with hanging out with the walking Valium and psychic, if it meant being able to be with the girl I loved.

I thought I was going to lose her, not once, but twice. It was scary enough when the freaky ass Italians showed up, but I truly thought she was going to choose to be with Edward after he had offered to take our place. She might have thought it was all gallant of him and shit, but I could see through it. He could save her, and I could only die along with her. Sure, I had told her there was nothing to worry about, that she didn't need to be saying goodbye, but I knew we were gonna be killed. Even I didn't have to be telepathic to figure that out.

But no. Knight-in-shining-armor Edward has to show up on his fucking noble steed to save the day. I figured I should be grateful to him. As Bella had said, he had saved our lives, right? The least she could do was thank him.

But did she really have to thank him by kissing him, knowing that I was there, knowing that I would be listening? I'm sure Edward loved that, loved telling her how her life would have been if she had married him. The fucker had planned to take her to his very own private island for a honeymoon. If Bella married me, she'd be lucky to stay in a Super 8 motel in Port Angeles on our wedding night.

I turned the water off and yanked the towel from the rack next to the tub. Running it over my face, I tried to block the vision of the two of them kissing with the rising sun in the background. Her tears that day killed me, as if each one of them were tiny knives stabbing me. She asked me to hold her while she slept, but she didn't know that she cried in her sleep too. Finally, I couldn't take it and I had hopped in the shower to clear my head, to get away from her.

But she followed me. I had only half-listened to her as she tried to explain herself, but all I could think of was that I wanted to make her forget the fucking leech ever existed. Now that he had gone and sacrificed himself for us, I was always going to have that hanging over my freaking head, wondering if Edward would have been taking better care of her, wondering if she would have been happier with him.

God damn it, why did he always come up smelling like roses while I was still laying in the filth? She was acting fine after we had gotten out of the shower last night; she ate her cold burger in silence as we watched a movie. Then she stayed silent as we flew home. I didn't know what to say to her. I wanted to reassure her, to show her that she had made the right choice by believing in us, but she was so far away from me that I couldn't even touch her. Every time I tried to take her hand in mine, it hung limp. I finally gave up.

I hated to admit it, but I was actually relieved to get away from her for a while. I knew that as an imprint, I needed to do everything in my power to make her happy, but I was at a loss. I honestly had no idea how to fix this. I believed that a part of her even blamed me for this. If I had never come into her life, Edward would have come back and she wouldn't have had these feelings for me, and they'd still be together.

There was no doubt in my mind that Bella loved me. Her smiles, her kisses, just the way she looked at me reminded me of that. But was I really the best choice for her?

"Fuck this shit!" I bellowed, kicking a hole through my wall. I threw on a pair of shorts, shot off a quick apology to my father for destroying the house yet again, phased on the fly, and took off running for Forks.

_Jacob,_ I heard.

_Seth. Where'd you go after the meeting?_

_To Bella's. I wanted to see how she was doing. Jake, you need to come here. Fast._

_I'm on my way. What's going on?_ I ran through possible things that could be hunting Bella now. Fuck, she had vampires and werewolves around. Perhaps Lord Voldemort had gotten a hold of her.

_She's...bad. Alice did something to her, and she cried herself to sleep. _

Alice. I should have torn her apart when I had the chance.

_I'll be there in a couple minutes._

I tried not to think as I ran, focusing on the feeling of the ground against my feet and the wind in my fur. I had no idea what I was doing. How could I bring Bella back this time?

Finally, I reached her house and phased back, yanking my shorts on as I meandered out into Charlie's backyard. Seth was sitting on the back step waiting for me.

"I'm sorry, Jake. I just wanted to talk to her, but she's not in a good place. She's scaring me."

"She's scaring me too. I hope she can come out of this. She wants to think she's fine with all of this, but she isn't. Thanks for coming, Seth. You wanna come up with me?"

He thought for a minute and then shook his head. "Thanks for the offer, man, but I think I'm gonna go home. I left her my number, in case she wants to talk about it all. I hope that's okay."

"Yeah, it's all good," I said, reaching out and ruffling his hair. "I'm going to go up. I'll talk to you later."

I hesitated at the back door before going inside. What was I going to find upstairs? I couldn't hear anything coming from Bella's room, so I assumed she was asleep. Noticing her unpacked bag near the laundry room, I stuck a load of laundry in for her. Stalling for more time, I found a Coke in the refrigerator and read through the newspaper on the tabletop.

I had dawdled long enough. No more Poky Little Puppy. Tossing my can in the recycling bin next to the garbage, I headed for the stairs.

"Jacob! Jacob...don't go!" I heard her screech, and my heart shattered into a million pieces as I ran into the bedroom, cursing myself for waiting so long to go to her.

"Edward!" she screamed, the despair evident in her voice. I couldn't tell if she was awake quite yet, so I lay down on the bed next to her and cradled her in my arms. Tears were running down her face.

"Bells, Bella, baby, wake up," I pleaded, waiting to get her out of the nightmare she was obviously having.

She opened her eyes and looked at me.

"Jacob. You're here. You didn't leave," she said, tears running down her cheeks.

"Of course I didn't leave," I said, running my fingers through her hair. "I promised I would never leave again, remember?"

"I had the worst dream. We were all back in Brazil and I was saying goodbye to Edward again, but this time, when you saw me kiss him, you left. I couldn't bear it if you left too, Jake. I need you. I may love him, but Jacob, I'm in love with you. I want to be with you, I want to stay with you for the rest of my life. We belong together, and we always have."

I wiped the tears from her eyes. "You know I'll never leave you, Bella. I'm too tightly bound to you. You are my happiness. Until your heart stops beating, and probably even after that. But you know this. So why are you crying?"

"I'm just...happy you're here. I'm sad that Edward isn't, but he made the decision to save us. And while I'm extremely grateful to him for my life, I'm most grateful because I'll get to spend it with you. I promise that you'll never see me cry for him again. It's you and me, babe. Forever."

"Forever," I echoed, bringing my lips to hers. She deepened the kiss and I had to pull away to take a deep breath. She blinked up at me and tilted her head in confusion.

"Does that scare you?"

"It's not that it scares me, Bells. It's just..." I sighed and rolled off the bed and began pacing her room. She sat up and watched me as I counted my steps across the floorboards.

"Jacob? What's the matter with you?"

I turned and sat back down on the bed, taking her hand in my own. "Bella, you don't have forever anymore. With me, you're going to get older. You're going to die. Not today or tomorrow, but eventually, and hopefully, I'll be right behind you if I haven't already gone before you."

"Is that what you're freaking out about?" she asked, a slight chuckle in her voice. "Just because I won't literally live forever with you doesn't mean that I won't love you forever. But if I could live forever, I know that there's no one else I'd rather spend eternity with than you."

I gazed into her brown eyes and saw all the promises that she was offering. Could I handle it all? Could I be the kind of man that she wanted me to be, the kind of man that deserved her? Could I keep her safe and loved for the rest of her life?

I looked down at her tiny, pale hand in my own brown one before looking back up at her.

"Forever," I whispered as I brought my lips to hers.

Six months later

Bella

It was a rare beautiful March day for Forks. Having finished all the work for my online classes by noon, I decided that I needed to get out of the house and maybe get a little vitamin D. I climbed into Jake's Rabbit and took off, not knowing where I was going but not really caring.

My truck had died for the final time last month. I was using Jake's car for the time being while he tried to salvage what he could. He knew how much my truck meant to me, actually saw it the same way I saw it...a gift from a beloved father to his only daughter. Edward had always pressured me to get a better car, but he just didn't understand the significance of my truck, couldn't see what it meant to me.

I had decided to listen to what Edward had said to me in my bedroom when he brought my backpack to me. He was right. I couldn't just not go to college, so in August I signed up for some general education classes at the community college. When I told Jake that I was staying in town rather than going away for school, the biggest smile graced his face and he picked me up and spun me. Evidently, he had a plan as well. He was going to double up on classes and get a tutor so he could graduate early. It would give him the ability to go wherever I was that much sooner.

Didn't he know that the only place I wanted to be was with him? Regardless, we made plans to go to the University of Oregon in the fall. We figured it'd be far enough away from the area so Jake could stop phasing but still close enough that we could visit occasionally.

As far as the Cullens went, I had just seen Carlisle and Esme the week before. Carlisle had graciously set up a trust fund to help me with school and any expenses I would incur. I sat and cried for over an hour while Esme held me and stroked my hair, telling me that I was worth every penny. Emmett and Rose visited three weeks ago and I got to spend time with my favorite brother and sister.

I had made my peace with Alice. She had come back not two weeks after the disastrous picture incident to beg my forgiveness. I let her grovel for a little while before I started to feel bad and let her off the hook. I had no reason to hold anything against her. She had just been upset over everything that had happened and had no one else to be angry with.

I hadn't talked to Edward, even though his phone number was programmed into my contacts. I didn't know what I could say that I hadn't already said, nor did I know if he'd even want to talk to me. I had no idea how he was doing in Italy because I was afraid to ask. The family seemed equally afraid to talk to me about it, so I just let it go. But still, I couldn't help but wonder...

Suddenly I knew where I was going to go.

Two hours later, I was walking into the meadow. The winter had not been kind, the grass was brown and there were no signs of the beauty that I had seen there with Edward. Regardless, I walked into the middle of the clearing and felt the warmth of the sun. I lowered myself to the ground and let the sun warm my body as I closed my eyes. I took a deep breath and let the smell of the forest invade my senses.

All the tension that I had been carrying around left my body and I just lay there, knowing that I had nothing to fear, that I was safe. Victoria was dead, Edward had killed her. The Volturi didn't want me dead anymore, Edward had taken care of that. I had a lot to thank Edward for. I should probably call him, I thought to myself. But as before, rather than call him, I continued doing what I was doing, and took another deep breath.

This time, it wasn't just the wet forest I smelled. I knew that smell! My eyes snapped open and lying in the dead grass next to me was Edward. His face was turned to the sky, but when I gasped, he turned to me.

"Hello, love," he whispered, his red eyes focusing on mine.


	23. Chapter 23

here's another chapter! thanks so much for sticking with me, for keeping me going with the reviews and favorites. it means the world to me. hope you all have a great holiday season!

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_My eyes snapped open and lying in the dead grass next to me was Edward. His face was turned to the sky, but when I gasped, he turned to me. _

_"Hello, love," he whispered, his red eyes focusing on mine. _

Chapter 23

Bella

I was frozen, not really sure if it was in terror or surprise. Besides the burgundy color of his eyes, he looked just like Edward. His bronze hair was still tousled, his smile still crooked, his jaw where I liked to kiss was still perfect. His clothes were different, he was wearing a long black cloak and those eyes were startling, but it was undoubtedly him.

"Bella, love? Breathe."

I choked out the breath that had been caught in my throat and his grin widened as my face flushed.

"I missed that. I didn't realize how much until right now." He raised his hand and brought it to my flaming cheek. I flinched at the coolness of his touch. I saw the flash of pain in his eyes before they became guarded. Feeling a little more fear, I sat up and looked down at him.

"What are you doing here?"

"I was in the area," he said simply, tearing his gaze from me back up to the sky. I couldn't help but stare at the way the sun glinted off his skin. He was so beautiful.

"You were in the area?" I asked, skeptical.

"Well, if you call Alberta 'in the area,'" he retorted. I rolled my eyes at him. "I took a side trip. Esme has been begging me to come and visit, and since I was at least on the same continent as my parents, I should probably stop by."

"I suppose that makes sense. But what are you doing here, Edward? And I mean here as in here with me in the meadow. Lying here with me in the sun."

"I was driving to the house and saw the car down at the base of the trail," he explained. "I stopped to check it out, see if it really was Jacob's car, then smelled you. I knew you had come here. You didn't even know I was here. I've been here since you got here."

"Would've been nice if you had offered to give me a ride," I grumbled, remembering the fall I had taken crossing over a particularly evil pile of rocks. He chuckled and glanced over at me.

"What would you have done if I approached you in the thick of the woods, wearing a black cloak and sporting these awesome eyes?"

I pondered that. "Probably attempted to scream and run. I would have tripped over air and impaled myself on a tree trunk and then you'd be so caught up in your blood lust that you'd drain me and it'd all be my fault."

He looked at me slack-jawed for a moment before shutting his mouth with an audible crack. I shrugged my shoulders and he burst out in laughter. I hid my face behind my hair as he continued his uncontrollable giggles.

"Are you done?"I asked. This just set off more laughter and finally I couldn't help but laugh as well. "What am I laughing at?"

"You. If you fell, you probably would end up impaling yourself on something extremely random and unexpected. But I love how you blame my draining you on yourself."

"Well whose fault would it be?" I asked, feeling naïve.

"No one's. It wouldn't happen. I'm actually in control of my thirst now. It's a little easier than living off the blood of animals. While you still smell lovely, it's more like sniffing a bouquet of flowers. Nice, but it's not really something I want to eat, if you know what I mean."

"Yeah…I have no clue what you're talking about," I admitted. This caused another round of hysterics and it took several minutes for us to calm down.

"I haven't laughed like that in months," he said, still smiling.

"Me either," I agreed. While I was better than I was when he first left, I hadn't been completely back to normal. I had to hand it to Jacob, he was great at keeping me occupied and happy, but… "Sometimes I start though, and I feel like I'm doing you a disservice. Like how can I be living carefree while you're out there doing who knows what with the Volturi?"

"Bella…"

"It just doesn't feel fair. You're out there suffering and feeding in a way that you don't want to and here I am, living my life, visiting your family, loving someone that isn't you…and it feels wrong."

"But…"

"I'm a poor substitute for you. Carlisle and Esme try to hide it, but I can still see the pain in their eyes. I know that they love me in their way, but I'm not you, and I'm the reason you're not with them. They miss their son, and even though they call me their daughter, I'm not really. Carlisle's venom does not flow through my veins, I haven't spent decades with them. Emmett and Alice both miss you like crazy but no one wants to talk to me about it because I'm the reason you're gone."

"Bella, listen…"

"No, you listen, Edward. It's killing me because I feel guilty for loving the person I do. I feel guilty for loving Jacob the way everyone thinks I should love you. And I do love you. So much. But I love him more. I want a future with him, I want to live my life with him, and I want to stop feeling like shit because I chose him. So Edward, why are you here?"

He stared at me for a minute before his face contorted. "It's none of your business, Bella." I gaped at him. "I'm not trying to be rude, Bella, honestly. But my ties of loyalty to you aren't as strong as my ties of loyalty to Aro and the Volturi are. I have no choice but to be loyal to them because they spared your life, and the life of the one you love."

"I'm not mad at you for choosing Jacob. Hell, it's what I wanted the day I left you. I wanted you to live a normal life, I wanted you to be free of this life, and I promised you that we wouldn't bother you. Leaving you wasn't my mistake—it was telling you that we wouldn't be there for you when you needed us. We're your family, Bella. I may not be your husband like I would've liked to be, but that doesn't mean I can't still be there for you. I know you have my number in that phone of yours. You can always call me and I can be wherever you are faster than you can say my name."

"But the Volturi…" I stammered out.

"Bella, they aren't keeping me hostage. After I left you in Brazil and went to Italy, I met with Aro, Caius, and Marcus. We discussed what my job would be in the Guard. I can't tell you what it is, but I want you to know I'm not evil. The Volturi isn't evil, Bella. I know you've been led to believe that we are, but really, all we're trying to do is keep order within the vampire world. That's our job. I finally feel like I have a purpose, Bella. I don't feel like my existence is meaningless anymore."

"It never was meaningless," I said, reaching out to touch his face.

"Maybe not," he replied, taking my hand and holding it in his own. "I found you. I opened your eyes to things that you never dreamed were possible. I gave you another family. I gave you love and helped you to see that you're weaker than you thought you were but that you could depend on others to help you get through whatever you need. That you don't always have to be the strong one."

"That's true," I said, reflecting on the past two years of my life. Renee had always depended on me to be the grownup, even though I was a child. In the time I had been in Forks I had been able to depend on others in a way that I never had been able to when I was younger. It wasn't just Edward and Jacob though. I learned I could count on Charlie to be there, on Esme for a motherly hug, on Carlisle for advice. I was truly blessed.

"Thank you," I whispered. "Thank you for loving me."

He smiled. "Any time, love." He stood up, pulling me with him. "It's starting to get dark. Let's get you back to your car so I can go see my parents." I climbed up on his back and before long found myself at Jacob's car. He set me down carefully next to my door.

"Thanks for the ride," I said, feeling awkward and shy.

"Of course," he said, smiling crookedly at me. I returned the smile then stood up on my tiptoes to kiss his jaw. Emotions passed across his face as I unlocked the door and began to climb in.

"I lied to you," he stammered, effectively stopping me in my tracks. "I'm not here to see my parents, though I am going to stop in. I was sent here to make sure you hadn't said anything. Aro was going to send someone else, but I told him I would do it. I couldn't help but see how you were doing. I've spent so many hours wondering if you had forgotten about me, if I ever even mattered to you."

"You were sent here to spy on me?" I asked incredulously. "And you did it?" He grabbed my shoulders and leaned down to my eye level.

"I was afraid if someone else did it that something would happen to you. I begged Aro to let me be the one who would periodically check on you. Marcus agreed. While it allows me the chance to see you every now and then, I was told that if I have any indication you've told anyone about us that I was to kill you and anyone you'd told."

"You'd do that?" I couldn't believe the person in front of me was the man I loved. How much could one person change?

"If it meant that order was restored, then yes. Please don't ever put me in that position, Bella. Promise me!"

"I…I promise." He released his grip on my shoulders and I unconsciously brought my hands up to rub them.

"Good. Be safe, Bella," he said, kissing my forehead before turning to walk to his car. "And remember, I'm always here if you ever need me. Just a phone call away." I stared after him as he drove off in the direction of the Cullen house.

"Well, that was strange," I said to no one in particular and climbed in the car. I started it, still feeling unsettled. I put the car into gear and took off, still out of sorts. While I knew I should probably go home and cook Charlie dinner, I also knew I needed to calm down before I could do anything remotely normal, so I turned around and headed to the one place where I could be myself.

I felt him before I actually saw him walking across the sand to our spot on the beach. He plopped down next to me and kissed me. "Hey, I just got home from my tutoring session and saw the car at my house. Dad said you were here. What's up?"

"I've had a very strange day. I got done with my homework and stuff early, so I decided to go out and enjoy the weather. I went to the meadow, the one where you found me with Laurent." His eyes narrowed but he didn't say anything so I went on. "I was just looking to enjoy the weather a little bit. So I'm lying there and when I open my eyes, Edward is next to me."

"What?" he asked incredulously.

"I know! I thought I was seeing things, but he was there, red eyes and all. I was scared at first, but then I wasn't. He talked a little bit and he told me he actually likes being with the Volturi because it gives him a purpose. He even told me my blood doesn't have the same affect on him it once did, so then I really relaxed. It was a weird conversation. Really weird. But he told me he's happy I'm with you, and that even though he won't be there for me the way he wanted to be, all I have to do is call."

"That's nice of him," he grumbled.

"Yeah, but as I was getting in the car, he burst out and told me he'd been sent here by the Volturi and that I had to promise him I would never say anything because if I did, he'd have to kill us."

Jake snorted. "I'd like to see him try."

"Well, I'm not worried about it because I will never say anything to anyone. Who would believe me? Honestly. I just can't wait to get out of here. Where you and I can just be Jake and Bells, we can go to school and live together and I can sleep in your arms every night."

"I can't wait either, Bells. Only a couple more months. Then we'll get out of here and start our lives."

"Are you nervous about going away and being away from the pack?"

He looked away, then sighed and lay back in the sand. I snuggled up to him and waited for him to speak.

"I suppose I'm a little nervous. I wonder how they'll be without me, if the reservation will be safe without me. But then I remember they were fine without me before I phased for the first time. And if the Cullens leave like they say they're going to, everyone will stop phasing because the danger will be gone. But as much as I care about the pack, I care about you more."

"I love you, Jacob," I said, tilting my face up for a kiss.

"I love you too, Bells. Forever."

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thus concludes the story of once upon a moon. look for the epi to be coming out in a couple of weeks. love y'all :)


	24. Epilogue

it's amazing to me that i've finally finished this story. i started in july of last year and it's always been on my mind. it's also amazing to me to see how i've grown as a writer in the time that i've been in the fanfic world. i've made some of the best friends that i could have ever hoped to have, read some of the best stories i've ever read, and even won some awards. it's been a fun ride.

bug hugs and extreme thanks go to my beta and very best friend mybrandofheroin84. thanks to twilight i have someone that i can't ever imagine living without.

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Epilogue

Seventy five years later

Edward

The wind ruffled my hair but I did nothing about it. I was standing alone in the woods, still as a statue, unwilling and unable to move from my spot, even though I'd been standing here for hours. I was thankful no one had seen me.

It had been seventy-five years almost to the day since I had found Bella in the meadow, lying in the sun. Seventy-five years of waiting in the wings, wondering if she would ever change her mind.

She didn't.

I watched as she said goodbye to her father outside of their home when she and Jacob left for the University of Oregon. I listened to her father cry after he went inside and cursed himself for not telling her about the diagnosis of leukemia he'd received the week before. He reasoned that she would've stayed, and he knew she needed to go out and live her life. She had given him two of the happiest years of his life; it was time for him to let her have her own.

I made the call to the football coach at the University of Oregon and told him about Jacob Black. I was the reason the coach got in contact with Jacob and found him a spot on the team, and I took credit for the breakout season the sophomore had. I also took credit for the Heisman Trophy he won in his junior year.

I was there when Jacob called Charlie to ask for his blessing to marry his daughter. I was also there when Jacob called Carlisle to ask for his blessing as well. Esme cried and Carlisle looked like his chest had been puffed up with helium. I forced a smile and pretended I was happy for them, but inside I was dying.

I was there when Bella spent the last week of Charlie's life with him in the hospital. I watched as she watched her father call out for her mother, as she attempted to spoon-feed him jello, begging him to try to eat. I watched as Charlie took his last breath and as Bella slumped over her father's body and cried like she had never cried before.

Emmett and I sat and watched the NFL draft and witnessed Jacob kissing Bella after he was drafted to the Indianapolis Colts as the fifth pick in the first round. Emmett cheered as Jacob held up his new jersey and took a picture with the commissioner. I couldn't help but notice how beautiful Bella looked in the blue dress she was wearing for the occasion.

I stood in the back of the crowd and watched as Bella received her Master's in Education and was jealous when she threw herself into Jasper's arms and thanked him profusely for his help on her thesis about teaching the merits of the Civil War in high school education.

It wasn't me who waited for her at the end of the aisle on her wedding day as she held the arm of my father. It wasn't me who promised my undying love and devotion in front of God and all the witnesses. I was there, standing in the back as always, watching as she kissed her new husband and became Mrs. Jacob Black. I sat at a table alone as I watched my sisters in their bridesmaid dresses doing the Macarena with the epitome of all that was beautiful in her white bridal gown. I looked away as her new husband kissed her after he playfully stuffed wedding cake in her face.

It wasn't me who carried the blushing bride over the threshold of their first home as man and wife. I was not the one whom she undressed for on her wedding night, not the one who made love to her and pledged to cherish her for all of my days as I touched her soft skin.

I was not the man who bought her the pregnancy test after she missed her period. Nor was I the man who held her hair back as she vomited through her first two trimesters. It wasn't me who decorated the nursery with her, who felt the baby kicking through the expanse of Bella's stomach, or celebrated when they found out they were having a boy. It wasn't my hand that was almost broken during the fifteen and a half hours of labor, but I was there. They didn't know, but I was. I watched from the hall through Jacob's mind when they put the child to Bella's breast. Through his mind, it was me who cut the cord severing the baby from its mother. Through his mind, it was me who held Bella's baby and felt an overwhelming love like I never had before.

I still wondered if she would change her mind. She hadn't yet, but that didn't mean anything.

I wasn't the one who rolled out of bed when the baby cried, trying to allow Bella an extra bit of sleep. It wasn't me who got upset every time I had to leave for an away game and begged her to join me. It wasn't me who fought through her postpartum depression to try to get her back from the confines of her sadness. I did beg for Carlisle to prescribe her medication, and that helped. It made me feel like I had helped in a way.

I wasn't the one who laid in the dark with her and worried about the future when she found out she was pregnant again. It wasn't me who was stunned speechless when the doctor came in to say that Bella was pregnant with twin girls. I wasn't the one who cried when the babies were born two months early and spent three weeks next to each other in twin incubators, nor was I the proud father who happily brought his daughters home.

Two years later, I was not the man who moved the very pregnant Bella and his family to Jacksonville when the Jaguars needed a new wide receiver. It wasn't my fifth baby who was born on Bella's thirty-first birthday, effectively completing the family of seven. I was not the man she came home to after her first day of work as a high school history teacher, the one who rubbed her feet that ached after standing up in heels all day. I didn't pick up the kids in the family's luxury SUV, nor did I help them with their homework and put them to bed before covering Bella up with a blanket after she had fallen asleep grading term papers.

I watched with the rest of the world when Jacob announced he was retiring from football after 16 years playing the game. I agreed he was correct in wanting to spend more time with his family and enjoy his life with them.

I was there when Bella's first child, Michael, graduated high school as the valedictorian of his class, on his way to Duke for medical school, a fact that had Carlisle pleased beyond measure. I watched when Jacob and Bella sent their daughters Ashley and Amanda off to Tulane and Georgia Tech. I stood in the crowd when their son Matthew pitched his first no-hitter for the Boston Red Sox and celebrated when their son Ian's engineering company made its first million.

I lived vicariously through the mind of Jacob, and waited for Bella's call. It never came.

Esme called me crying when Ashley was in a car accident and very nearly died. I stood unnoticed outside the hospital while Carlisle told them Ashley had made it through surgery and that she was going to be just fine.

I cradled Bella's first grandchild Sommer through the memories of Rosalie, marveling over how much the child looked like Bella with her dark hair and brown eyes. I watched numerous soccer and tee ball games from the wings, silently cheering on the children that came from Bella's children.

It wasn't me who encouraged Bella to retire from her job so she could travel and see the world. I wasn't the one who drank wine with her in Italy, who kissed her at the top of the Eiffel Tower, who made love to her in a tiki hut in Tahiti.

I wasn't the one who nursed Bella back to health after she had tripped over the dog and broken her hip. Although I fretted along with Jacob over the amount of pain medications she was on, I wasn't the one able to cheer her on when she took her first steps unassisted by a walker. When she looked in the mirror and bemoaned over her wrinkles and graying hair, I looked at my own reflection in the window and wished that I was graying and wrinkling with her. I wanted to tell her she was still beautiful, that she'd always be beautiful to me. But it wasn't me who did that, it was Jacob.

Their great-grandchildren were born and the family continued to grow. They settled in the mountains of North Carolina because Bella wanted to live where they could have some snow but not too much.

I stood by helplessly when she was told at the age of seventy eight that she had breast cancer. I sat in the hall outside of Carlisle's office and listened to him give the same bad news when they went to him for a second opinion. I watched as she underwent a bilateral mastectomy and radiation. I listened to her cry as she brushed her hair and pulled out the strands as she went through chemotherapy. I celebrated with the family when Bella achieved her five-year remission at the age of 85.

I hired the best physical, occupational, and speech therapists to go to the Black's house after Jacob had a stroke. He had the best care possible through round the clock nurses, and of course, he had Bella to live for. I rejoiced when he was able to dance with Bella on their sixty-fourth wedding anniversary.

Maybe it was inappropriate of me, but I still wanted her to call.

Bella's health took a turn for the worse shortly after her ninety-third birthday. Sure, she had slowed down a lot, but I had begun to think she was indestructible. Suddenly she started to have problems with breathing and her blood pressure started rising. Medications helped, but didn't cure.

My angel was starting her downward spiral.

Jacob tried to do what he could, but he was ninety two and had not completely recovered after his stroke. Their granddaughter Amelia moved in with them and helped as much as she could, which admittedly wasn't much. The home healthcare nurses did what they could to keep Bella comfortable, but I could tell she was tired and that she wouldn't be in this world much longer. Jacob cried often, but tried to hide it from her. She knew him far too well though, and spent much of her time telling him that they were lucky, they'd had a wonderful life. And they had.

One night, I got the call.

"Come," was all she said. I was already there. She was sitting on the porch swing outside, bundled up against the chill of the March winds in a winter jacket and a fleece blanket over her legs. She looked at me as I walked up the stairs and patted the seat next to her. I sat next to her, smelling the scent that had not changed over the years.

"For some strange reason, I thought you might look a little different. But you don't," she said, her voice gravelly from the constant coughing. I said nothing, choosing instead to simply look at her.

"I've had a good life. Look how blessed I've been. I've seen things I never expected to; had the most beautiful children in the world; loved my grandchildren, great-grandchildren, and great-great-grandchildren. I've beaten cancer. I had a job that I loved and was good at. I survived the loss of my father and of my friends. I've been loved by not one, but two wonderful men. I'm very lucky, but I'm tired now. I'm ready to go on."

"Bella…" I tried.

She held up her hand. "I know what you're going to say, Edward. But I don't want it. I want to die. I want to be remembered for the person I was, I want to know that I've made a difference in the world somehow. But I don't want to live forever."

"So why did you call me?" I whispered. She touched my hand with hers, her skin paper thin against mine.

"I wanted you to know that I'm ready. I don't want you to mourn me anymore. You've spent the past seventy-five years mourning my loss, watching my life from the sidelines. You have to let me go, Edward. Yes, I knew you were there. Either you've lost your touch for hiding or I've just gotten good at finding you."

"Why didn't you tell me you knew?"

" Because I didn't need you. You told me to call anytime I needed you, but I didn't need you. I don't want to seem mean or rude, but I had everything I ever needed in Jacob. He completes me, Edward. He is the reason I've lasted this long, but he's also the reason I'm letting myself go. He worries and I just don't have it in me anymore to reassure him that everything will be fine because it won't be."

"You didn't need me before. But why did you call me? Why do you need me now?"

"Because I need you to let me go," she replied. "In my bedroom, there is enough morphine to stop my heart. There's also enough…"

"To stop my heart as well," I heard, and glanced up to find Jacob in the doorway of their home.

"Jacob," Bella started, but he held his hand up.

"Edward, you might understand. I can't live in a world where Bella does not exist. She's been my entire life since I was sixteen. You made me promise to take care of her, and I've given her everything she's ever wanted and more. Now she wants this, and I'm asking you as a friend. Please, take us out of this misery, but take us together. I don't want to be without her."

Tears were slipping down Bella's cheeks as she took the hand of her husband. "Please, Edward. You gave us our lives. Please, I'm begging you. Take them away."

Conflict raced through my mind, but when I looked into their eyes and at their joined hands, I knew what I had to do.

"Yes."

Bella had kissed my cheek before lying next to her husband in their bed. He wrapped his arms around her, kissed her deeply and whispered his everlasting love to her. I had given them medication to help them sleep and as they closed their eyes, they shared one final kiss.

Trying to gain my composure, I filled the syringes with the medication. As I looked down at Bella in the bed, I was brought back to the first night I had climbed in her window and had seen her lying in bed. I kissed her cheek and sobbed out an "I love you" as I injected the morphine into her vein, then did the same for Jacob. I carefully cleaned up the evidence and wrapped it so I could take it with me. I waited until I heard them take their final breaths and their hearts stopped beating. Then I took the medication I had wrapped in a sweater of Bella's and left through the window.

Now I found myself alone in the woods next to the cemetery where Bella and Jacob's family had decided to bury their loved ones. I listened as the pastor spoke about the two people who were so connected in life that God could not let one live without the other so he decided to take them both at the same time. I had played God. Was what I did right? Probably not, but if I ever did die, I was going to Hell anyway, I was almost okay with doing this, save for the fact that I had ended the life of the most wonderful woman I had ever known.

The last rites were said, and the family left the graveyard. Only I remained, watching as the cemetery workers lowered the twin caskets into the ground. I felt a warm breeze across my face and was amazed to smell the scent of Bella.

_Edward…_her voice whispered once in the breeze. I turned to where I had heard the voice and was rewarded with the sight of a young Bella and Jacob. She waved once to me, delighting me with her beautiful smile, and then took the hand of her husband and they disappeared.

Bella had lived her life. I had given her the gift of life when I agreed to join the Volturi Guard, and in her passing, she gave her life for me. I was free from the guard, free to be whoever Edward Cullen needed to be. Thanks to Bella, I knew I could go on and be a better man because of having her in my life.

* * *

finally, i want to say thanks to all of you! thank you so much for reading once upon a moon and my other fics as well. you've all been so supportive and understanding in the past year and a half when i started nursing school and didn't have the chance to update as much as you (and I!) would have liked. you've seen me through four stories by reading and reviewing.

i love you all very much and hope that you will continue to read my other stories that are still in progress and any stories that may come in the future.

bex

beckiey8 on twitter


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